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James Taylor
Alternative Press - Editorial Intern on 7/13/09 @ 4:36 PM - altpress.comYEARS OF DECENT EXISTENCE: 1969-'75
BEST RECORDS: James Taylor (1968), Sweet Baby James (1970), Mud Slide Slim And The Blue Horizon (1971), Gorilla (1975)
WORST RECORDS: Really, who counts their pimples?
GO DOWNLOAD: "Carolina In My Mind," "Fire And Rain," "I Was A Fool To Care," "Your Smiling Face," "Shower The People"
FILE UNDER: Heartfelt Singer Songwriter Plague: Patient Zero
SIMILAR-SOUNDING DINOSAURS: Dan Fogelberg, America, Harry Chapin
THE MUSIC: Have you seen the cover of James Taylor's first album, the one he did for the Beatles' Apple label? Man, he looks like a badass with his crumpled suit, brooding stare and rampant heroin addiction. But neither junk nor a stint in a mental hospital could stop Taylor from following his calling: to be the "soft-rock" poster boy of America who hippie parents would let their daughters listen to under the bedsheets. Taylor's 40-year-plus career in short: Sell-out tours, gold and platinum records, celebrity marriage/divorce (to/from superior songwriter Carly Simon) and high-profile charity works. Not surprisingly, his music is some of the most tedious, milquetoast sonic vanilla to be committed to tape, a good three decades before the term "wuss" was introduced into the American vernacular. To quote an ancient SNL routine lampooning evangelicals and censorship, have you ever been hit in the head with a "soft rock"?
WHAT THEY SAY: "When people use the term 'singer/songwriter' (often modified by the word 'sensitive') in praise or in criticism, it's James Taylor that they're thinking of." -Allmusic
WHAT I SAY: Taylor is responsible for influencing more crimes against hearing (open-mic nights, Muzak versions and, yes, the rise of the acoustic set) than anyone in recent memory.
WHY YOUR (GRAND)PARENTS LIKE HIM: Because the word "mellow" was a regular fixture in their vocabulary. Stupid coots.
CURRENT WHEREABOUTS: What's wrong with you? Don't you own his latest, groundbreaking covers disc, alarmingly titled Covers? Didn't you see JT drag out his tired one-world-one-love spiel ("Shower The People") onto the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in January? Am I the only one who caught the irony that he was playing The Concert For Change? -Jason Pettigrew
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