11 things parents just don’t understand about your music (and how to explain them)

February 3, 2014 by AltPress

11 things parents just don’t understand about your music (and how to explain them)

Why don’t you play nice music? I just don’t understand why you want to listen to this alternative music. You know who plays nice music? Bruno Mars. Everyone loves Bruno Mars. He seems like a nice young man.
“Stand up/You have a voice to be heard/You're worth more than words/So let your fire burn.” What exactly, Mom, is not nice about those lyrics from We Came As Romans? I mean, that’s a pretty nice sentiment if you ask most people—even when roared viciously over a breakdown.

They still make vinyl records?
“Yes, they do. Do you still have your old record player? I’d love to see your collection; I really want to start my own!” Make it a bonding experience. At the end of the day, your parents may not understand your music (or style, or unbridled lust for eyeliner-wearing boys), but they will always look for a chance to be a part of your life. Make collecting vinyl a tiny part of your life you let your parents in on. Bond with them over it. You may not actually care to hear the story of how they found that classic Beatles record at a long-closed record store, but let them tell it. Show them they have something in common with you.

Why do you all run into each other on purpose at concerts? You’re going to break a bone or get a concussion. And don’t call me when you end up in the hospital!
If your parents are telling you to not call them when you end up in the hospital, they’re lying their faces off. So, if someone dropkicks you at your next hardcore show and you end up in the ER, please do call them. And explain that though violent looking, moshing is a form of expression and dance. It also does not come without etiquette. If someone falls down, show protocol is to pick them up. If someone is being a complete idiot, show protocol is to inform security. People who actually want to inflict real damage on others don’t fare well in the pit. We look out for our own.

What does emo mean?
Does anyone have an indisputable answer to this question? Tell your parents that its meaning is up for debate, but that generally it is classification for a broad range of music. (So broad that, really, it’s truly meaningless.) Just make sure they’re not reading U.K. tabloid pieces from 2006 and 2007 that used the word as a scapegoat, tying it and associated bands ignorantly to mental illness and teen suicide.

Is this music evil? Do they worship the devil like that Marilyn Manson fella?
Oh, man. We could really go into some anti-theist ignorance slamming on this one. You could give them the specifics of Satanism and educate them that it’s not a literal worship of the devil that entails ritual sacrifice, but usually people who have religious reasons to dislike something aren’t exactly information sponges. Instead, just attempt to educate your parents on what the band’s message actually is and what you take away from it. Religious or not, caring parents just want to be sure you’re surrounded by things that are impacting your life positively.

Why would you get a tattoo on your neck? What’s going to happen when all these guys with neck tattoos realize music isn’t a smart career choice, and then they try to get a real job? I’ll tell you what’s going to happen: They’ll be asking “Would you like fries with that?”
It’s 2014. Come on. Though your parents may harbor some unfounded deep resentment for the inked pigment of someone’s skin, many people don’t. Of course, certain workplaces still hold a person’s body modifications against them, but does it matter in the end? To get tattooed was a personal choice that has no negative effect on anyone but the person who made that choice. And, hey, they can think of it as a creative motivator. A neck tattoo means you better be the best musician possible and keep making music, or else. It may not be a “smart career choice” for many people, but it’s the one they wanted to pursue. Let them. It’s not like you’re going to go out and do the same tomorrow. Well, maybe. Are you? Then just leave that part out and wear turtlenecks at family gatherings. ALT

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