13 Anti-Valentine’s Day Songs

February 12, 2014 by AltPress

13 Anti-Valentine’s Day Songs

THE HOPE CONSPIRACY - “Three Year Suicide” 

"Your love is misery," screams Hope Conspiracy frontman Kevin Baker in "Three Year Suicide," a title which pretty much says it all. If his relationship felt like killing himself for three years, that's about as anti-Valentine as it gets. Your post-breakup gym mix could just be the 11 other heart-crushing songs on Endnote.—Brian Kraus

MONEEN - “Start Angry, End Mad”

Any song that starts off with the line, "Screw you and die, I hope you burn," is kind of a lock for a playlist like this, no? The rumor I always heard was that frontman Kenny Bridges wrote this song about an ex-bassist, but substituting in an ex-flame works just fine. "You're nothing, you're worthless, except for these verses" essentially sums up every single rock song written by a spurned lover ever—only this one's better than nearly all of those.—Scott Heisel

MORRISSEY - "That's How People Grow Up"

It's no secret that Morrissey is rock ‘n’ roll’s quintessential sad bastard. He also has one hell of a spiteful and vindictive streak. (Just ask former Smiths drummer Mike Joyce, who Moz effectively threatened to murder over a royalties dispute in 1997's "Sorrow Will Come In The End.") But it wasn't until "That's How People Grow Up," a track which first debuted on Morrissey's 2008 Greatest Hits album before appearing on 2009's Years Of Refusal, that the Pope Of Mope ditched the sorrow and longing for simply writing love off completely. Bitter and resigned, Moz belts lines like "I was driving my car/I crashed and broke my spine/So yes, there are things worse in life than/Never being someone's sweetie" and "I was wasting my time/Praying for love/ For a love that never comes/From someone who does not exist” for once, I feel like he might have found some form of closure, callous as it might be.—Philip Obenschain

ORANGE 9MM - "Sacrifice"

After NYHC earlybirds Burn broke up in the mid-'90s, frontman Chaka Malik spearheaded a lesser-remembered but equally worthwhile post-hardcore project called Orange 9mm. On "Sacrifice," there's a tribal lead-up to Malik's fierce condemnation of an ex. Unlike many hardcore singers, he didn't need a lyric video to be understood, and his obsessive repetition makes the song feel almost ceremonial. "Was there was a time when I'd say I had some trust in you?/There was a time but I'd say now that it's torn down." Now that the trust issues are out of the way, there's room for the lasting regret. "You forced me to give up my fire, my life, my hopes, desire."—Brian Kraus

SAVES THE DAY - “My Sweet Fracture”

"Could you tell me the next time that your choking?/I'll run right over and shove some dirt right down your throat." And so begins Saves The Day's classic fuck-you anthem. Of course, Chris Conley is too clever to just litter a song with four-letter words; instead he opts for searing lines like "I took a piss that lasted longer than you and your manipulations." Though he may be scorned, he isn't immune to fleeting thoughts of happier times gone by, comparing them to autumn, a season that seems to go by quicker each year ("Don't you love those leaves?/Don't you wish the orange stayed forever?") By the end though, Conley is back to his sharp-tongued self singing, "I'd rather forget the days we spent/Than try to stay afloat in shallow water."—Brittany Moseley


sleeping with sirens saves the day slipknot morrissey moneen ben gibbard the hope conspiracy sleeping in the aviary the honorary title orange 9mm