Now that you’re out in public, what actions are you making to show your fans and detractors that you really have changed?
In my life—and I’ve dealt with this tons of times—it’s like, I’m doing good and then I’m doing shitty and then I’m doing good and then I’m doing shitty. For me, all I’m focusing on is that I can say as much shit as I want on twitter and be on as many magazines, but actions speak louder than words.
If I’m really out here, staying sober, focusing on myself and what I need to work this music career, I think a lot of other people will start hopping on board and they’ll start seeing it more. A lot of people do see it right off the bat. To me, it’s hard because I can say all these things that I want to say, but if I’m not actually showing someone, it’s pointless.
I feel level. Every time in my whole life, I always feel like I’m either up at the top or down at the bottom and never in the middle. For once I feel like I’m in the middle and I can actually make sense of the things that I’m going through on a daily basis.
There was a rumor a couple days ago going around that someone had recent pictures of you using again. What do you want to tell people about that situation and its validity?
Yeah, I’m actually not even sure what that situation is about. I hit up my ex-girlfriend and she was like, “I don’t know what anyone is talking about. I don’t have any pictures.” So, if there are any pictures, they’re obviously old like the ones that have already been posted online. It’s not really a big deal to me.
Like I said, I’m out here staying sober for myself, mainly. [Staying sober] is what I’m doing every day. I’m not out here getting high and then coming to [AP] and being like, “Cool, yeah. I’m doing this. I’m good. I’m doing that.” You can tell I have a level head. I just want everyone to know that I love them and all my fans, but I’m not only doing it for the publicity side of it. I’m actually doing this to save my only life. I don’t take this as a joke. A lot of people will talk shit and be like, “Oh, well I give it this many months.” Fine, because I’m counting the days, too.
You’re up over 100 days now, aren’t you?
Yeah, the Soma show was my hundredth day.
That’s awesome to hear. So you’re also working on record right now. What’s going on with that? Where are you in the process?
Right now we’re just trying to get producers and people on board. We have Matt Squire (The Cab, Panic! At The Disco) and Ian Kirkpatrick (Breathe Carolina, Neon Trees) and we have some other people that we’re just waiting to see if their timelines fit with ours. That’s pretty much just it. I’m taking everything super slow. I want to put out music as fast as I can, but I don’t want to rush anything. I want to make the next music I make the perfect step forward if that makes sense. I don’t want to rush into it. I want to make sure it’s the best thing for me to put out at the right time.
Do you have anything written?
I work on shit all day long in my head. I have some songs I’ve been messing with for months and putting them together and taking them apart. It’s all a long process that just happens in my head. It seems like I’m just sitting around in my bed all day, but I’m just working on stuff in my head.
I haven’t recorded anything yet, but I think that we’re going to try and get me into a studio some time in the next two weeks. [I’ll just be] free styling some stuff to see what my voice is sounding like and get a feel for some songs people are sending us.
In our print interview, you ended with talking about how you feel transformed and had found a new sense happiness, so what do you want to say now as a follow-up? What is it you want to tell people now that we’re a few months in the future?
I’m still just as happy and it’s because I’m doing everything for myself. I’m doing things and taking the effort to make myself healthy. I’m not just out here talking a bunch of bullshit for shock value. Just keeping going forward is all I can think about. A lot of crazy stuff is happening this year, but I just want everyone to know that everything I do and everything I sing and all the music I make is not only just for me, but for people who are going through the same shit.
I never felt like that was the way I wanted people to see my music, but now I see all the people I’m helping online and how everyone is all, “Thank you so much. You give me so much hope.” I just want everyone to know they don’t have to live this life. They don’t have to go down this road.