The Hell frontman tells metalcore to “f*ck off,” calls Falling In Reverse “classic metalcore”

August 29, 2014 by Matt Crane

The Hell frontman tells metalcore to “f*ck off,” calls Falling In Reverse “classic metalcore”

“Nails,” the frontman for Prosthetic Records band the Hell recently hit caps lock and typed an open letter to metalcore, where he talks about the clichés of the genre. Then, for some reason, he brings up Falling In Reverse, who are not a metalcore band. Read the full letter below via Metal Hammer:

 

“DEAR METALCORE,

JUST FUCK OFF.

I AM WRITING YOU THIS AS AN OPEN LETTER, NOT BECAUSE I AM TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO SAY IT TO YOUR FACE, BUT BECAUSE I COULDN’T FIND YOUR FUCKING ADDRESS IN THE YELLOW PAGES.

PLEASE STOP. NO ONE FUCKING CARES ANY MORE. IT’S DIFFICULT TO WORK OUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT FROM ANYONE. I SAW A FEW METALCORE BANDS OVER THE SUMMER AND I’VE NEVER BEEN SO FUCKING FURIOUS IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. THESE GUYS GET UP ON STAGE, SHOUTING “WHICH OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS IS READY FOR A GOOD FUCKING TIME”, AND THEN PROCEED TO SCREAM EVERY DETAIL OF EVERY ROMANTIC FAILURE THEY’VE EVER HAD. NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR IT MATE. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO DO WANT TO HEAR IT ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE INTERESTED IN SHIT LIKE CRYING AND FLOWERS.

A TIP FROM THE TOP THOUGH, IT WOULD BE EASIER TO STOMACH YOUR OVERLY-SENTIMENTAL, GROTESQUE CIRCUS OF HEARTBREAK IF YOU WEREN’T SELLING T-SHIRTS TO PRE-TEENS THAT LOOK LIKE SOME KIND OF SWEARY, MISOGYNIST VERSION OF ADVENTURE TIME.

YOU’RE CONFUSED, METALCORE. IT’S ALMOST UPSETTING. TAKE ‘ALONE‘ BY FALLING IN REVERSE. IT’S CLASSIC METALCORE. VERSES ABOUT HOW YOU’RE SHAGGING MY HYPOTHETICAL WIFE, THEN A (BEAUTIFULLY SUNG) CHORUS ABOUT HOW YOU’RE FED UP OF BEING ALONE AND YOU MIGHT NOT MAKE IT HOME AND NO ONE’S ON THE PHONE AND DIAL TONE AND PAYDAY LOAN. JUST FUCK OFF.

SO METALCORE, TO AVOID FUTURE HEARTBREAK AND TO SPARE US ANY MORE METALCORE ALBUMS – STOP BEING SUCH A CUNT.

YOURS SINCERELY (AND WE ARE ALWAYS SINCERE),

NAILS

THE HELL“

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