Laila the intern checks in
When I was a high schooler, I was a Goth. It's true. I wore black clothes with lots of rips and fishnets, blacker eyeliner that dripped down my face like tears (Yeah, I copied Amy Lee. So what?) and always had a scowl on my face. Well, most of the time. South Park made me giggle.
In this little era of my life, I became obsessed with metal. Pantera, Otep, Alice in Chains, Slipknot--and then, a whole lot of depressing male vocalists like ummm *coughnickelbackcough* Marilyn Manson, The Rasmus, Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails and Staind, just to name a few. I was a badass, through and through.
If you look at me now, you would never guess. I still LOVE Otep and The Rasmus and all those other guys, but they're more of my nostalgic moment music. Now, I listen to upbeat music. Pop punk. Usually with a female vocalist. Because, well, I like hearing about how Cupid's wings should be ripped out for hurting girls by giving them evil boys (a cookie to whoever guesses the song that references).
If I met the 16 year old me on a street dressed like I do now and listening to the music I do now, she would glare at me then call me a poseur and a ditz and probably trip me. But the 16-year-old me hasn't had the chance to listen to Myspace Records Volume 1. (Shut up. You know you did too.)
When I first started college, I was thrust into a world of New Jersey WASPs with Northface jackets and Donna Karan bags and Uggs. I go to a Catholic college because (I'm not going to lie) they gave me a shit ton of financial aid. I grew up overseas, so I'm pretty sure they mistook me for an international student and wanted some diversity. They did get diversity, but the kind they want to shield from children's eyes. At least that's what my first year roommates hinted.
In a matter of months, the suffocating flashes of pink and nasally New Jersey accents got to me and I had conformed, in a way. Sad, but true. I went from this:
to this:
This was taken this weekend after a heavy, wild, intoxicating night of... Go Fish.
With that, I discovered New Years Day. If you don't know who they are, shame on you. Shame. If you do and don't like them, I took kickboxing classes for 2 years. Be warned. Much to my chagrin, I turned HAPPY. I liked punk pop. I loved it. I still do. I started going to H&M and Express instead of Hot Topic and ridiculously expensive vintage lace stores. Now this might have been bound to happen anyway because all teenagers go through phases. It's true. We all have the notebook of teenage angst. (Or, in today's world, a Livejournal. I STILL have one. And I'm turning 22 on my next birthday. EEK.)
I guess what I like most about NYD and bands I found out about after them is the fact that they can be bitchy in lyrics without being depressing about it. Even bands with guy singers! I love the contrast. (Srsly, listen to this and this. You'd never guess they're about wishing death on someone and jealous jerk friends with the way they're sung.)
In conclusion, I don't really have a point. I just like to ramble. But hey, if you liked that second set of lyrics, check out my article in this month's issue of AP about Breathe Carolina. The Craig Owens/Anthony Green issue. Page 64. Please? I'll play truth or dare on the blog comments with you if you do! Yes you.
Okay! Goodbye!
In this little era of my life, I became obsessed with metal. Pantera, Otep, Alice in Chains, Slipknot--and then, a whole lot of depressing male vocalists like ummm *coughnickelbackcough* Marilyn Manson, The Rasmus, Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails and Staind, just to name a few. I was a badass, through and through.
If you look at me now, you would never guess. I still LOVE Otep and The Rasmus and all those other guys, but they're more of my nostalgic moment music. Now, I listen to upbeat music. Pop punk. Usually with a female vocalist. Because, well, I like hearing about how Cupid's wings should be ripped out for hurting girls by giving them evil boys (a cookie to whoever guesses the song that references).
If I met the 16 year old me on a street dressed like I do now and listening to the music I do now, she would glare at me then call me a poseur and a ditz and probably trip me. But the 16-year-old me hasn't had the chance to listen to Myspace Records Volume 1. (Shut up. You know you did too.)
When I first started college, I was thrust into a world of New Jersey WASPs with Northface jackets and Donna Karan bags and Uggs. I go to a Catholic college because (I'm not going to lie) they gave me a shit ton of financial aid. I grew up overseas, so I'm pretty sure they mistook me for an international student and wanted some diversity. They did get diversity, but the kind they want to shield from children's eyes. At least that's what my first year roommates hinted.
In a matter of months, the suffocating flashes of pink and nasally New Jersey accents got to me and I had conformed, in a way. Sad, but true. I went from this:
to this:
This was taken this weekend after a heavy, wild, intoxicating night of... Go Fish.
With that, I discovered New Years Day. If you don't know who they are, shame on you. Shame. If you do and don't like them, I took kickboxing classes for 2 years. Be warned. Much to my chagrin, I turned HAPPY. I liked punk pop. I loved it. I still do. I started going to H&M and Express instead of Hot Topic and ridiculously expensive vintage lace stores. Now this might have been bound to happen anyway because all teenagers go through phases. It's true. We all have the notebook of teenage angst. (Or, in today's world, a Livejournal. I STILL have one. And I'm turning 22 on my next birthday. EEK.)
I guess what I like most about NYD and bands I found out about after them is the fact that they can be bitchy in lyrics without being depressing about it. Even bands with guy singers! I love the contrast. (Srsly, listen to this and this. You'd never guess they're about wishing death on someone and jealous jerk friends with the way they're sung.)
In conclusion, I don't really have a point. I just like to ramble. But hey, if you liked that second set of lyrics, check out my article in this month's issue of AP about Breathe Carolina. The Craig Owens/Anthony Green issue. Page 64. Please? I'll play truth or dare on the blog comments with you if you do! Yes you.
Okay! Goodbye!
posted by Scott Heisel at
2:04 PM
12 Comments:
i realy like your posts...note to mike shea.
Insightful... I definitely think the change is bound to happen eventually, I completely agree that everybody goes through phases and then once they grow up and hit the real world they change completely. It's bound to happen. On another note though, I definitely think the whole trend of bitchy lyrics with poppy/upbeat music is an amazing one. I mean, who wouldn't want to be hating while still being happy about it? :) Good stuff.
Wow, your journey of transformation is inspiring. Thank you for the walk through the brief yet some what tumultous life that you have experienced.
The next chapters of your life, I am sure, will be so much more than any of us could imagine.
I think that everyone has those phases. I think it's better to be yourself. If you want to look like a prep and listen to Manson there's nothing wrong with that if that's who you are. (By you I don't mean YOU I mean in general!) And for the record I think the second photo of you looks much better!
You should make more blogs on here, your are my favorite.
Breathe Carolina FTW!
holy fuckin shit, you look like two different people. is that your brain on metal?
Change is natural. Few people will still be into the same things at 22 as they were at 18. College, work and life experience all make it next to impossible. When you're 30 you'll probably reflect back on the summer when you were 22 and at your dream internship with much nostalgia, and you'll wonder who that girl in the picture is. Hopefully, you'll still have good taste in music. Good luck with your career.
I would have to agree with everyone else. Change is a natural part of life. I was kinda like that when I was younger. Poser goth or punk rock and then I grew up. It's funny, I'm giving a lot of my hot topic tees to Good will and settling for a more Hip hop and R&B persona. I went from listening to the same bands that you do. (Well, I still listen from time to time) to listening to Rihanna, Beyonce, Bmore CLub Music, and what not. But I really enjoyed this article. If I saw my 16 year self on the street. He would have gotten the warning/tongue lashing/care fest of his life because he would need it all for what he's about to endure now at 22. Love you Laila.
I think it's silly when people think you have to look a certain way, in order to like a certain genre of music. Change is good and everyone eventually goes through that. I've always liked the type of music I like today..well I used to like pop a lot when I was younger (not anymore), but rock was always my main thing and still is. I started out as a nerdy dresser, to preppy, to skater, then when I was 16, I discovered that I love the goth look and it fit me and it made me feel like me. I wasn't the stereotypical goth and I'm still not. I'm almost 22 and still stick with my gothic style and I'm very proud of it! Back to the music though...one of the first things my boyfriend found cute about me, was that I was a true goth, yet I liked Clay Aiken!! As long as you stick to what you like, it really doesn't matter how you dress. If you ever met the 16 year old you and she had a problem with you, just kick her!
I would like to see more from you, I love your writing style :).
Great work, and I've seen your articles, I love the transformation you have done, I went through the same exact thing. Keep up the good work, and you'll go far.
You're officially one of my favorite people at AP now. I love rants like this. I approve of this article! And by the way, the song you referenced was Ready Aim Misfire by (obviously) New Years Day.
I want my cookie.
distant disaster, we need to be bffs. Kthnx. You get TWO cookies, redeemable at the next NYD concert that isn't in california. Because Oh, I will be there.
Its funny to look back on our high school days and wonder what the heck we were thinking. Great blog. You have a dream internship my friend.
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