In A Perfect World

After unsuccessful attempts to get last minute tickets to the Browns game Monday night (a game that defied logic in the most amazing ways!), my husband and I decided to just watch the game at home. After talking about how much money we almost paid for really crappy seats, we then realized how awesome it would be if people paid hundreds of dollars just to watch us to our jobs in the same way that we often do for professional athletes and bands. What a world that would be, right?

Let's imagine...

People would line up outside of the AP skyscraper hours before the workday started, their faces all painted with punctuation marks and they'd be all trying to wave in the background as the announcers went over the pre-workday stats:

Announcer 1: Well, this season they've really struggled with the misplaced modifiers, and that could really come back to haunt them on this issue.

Announcer 2: You're right, Jim. But if they can keep the extraneous commas to a minimum, they might pull this one off. The fact-checking has been really tight, probably the best in the league.

Whenever I caught a really big, potentially disastrous error, there would of course be an instant reply and the crowd would go wild...

Crowd cheer: Gram-mar! Gram-mar! Whoooo!!!