Jennifer Grathwol of Alternative Press

In Memoriam

2009-04-27T15:05:00.006-04:00

Put Your Real Life On Pause: Maybe you're too young to remember the glory days of the Golden Girls. Okay, maybe I'm too young for that, too. But who hasn't spent a Saturday afternoon enjoying a GG marathon, maybe eating nachos and wearing cozy slippers, even though your homework was waiting in the other room. Yep, we've all been there (right?). But now those afternoons will be bittersweet: At 86 years young, Bea Arther (Golden Girl Dorothy Zbornak) lost her battle with cancer this past Saturday.

I know what you're thinking: "Isn't it kind of silly to focus so much on TV characters and actors/actresses you don't even know?" In some ways, yes. Television can be frivolous, simultaneously shrinking your brain while adding inches to your waistline. But beyond the laziness and gluttony that has basically enveloped our entire culture, TV is more than that. It's a reflection in some ways of who we are, and in other ways, of who we want to be. It can confront heavy social and political norms and values, without losing its sense of humor--and, to me at least, Golden Girls was one of those shows. The best TV shows are the ones that make you reevaluate your own life before you even realize it.

So we lost a legend, but we'll always have the laughter.

Mark your calendars: On Monday, May 25, the Hallmark Channel will pay tribute to Arthur with a Golden Girls Memorial Day Marathon featuring Dorothy-centric episodes on from 6:30 am until 2:30 am EST. I'll bring the nachos, you bring the slippers, and we'll all leave our work on the desk for the afternoon.

It's A Pirate's Life

2009-04-20T10:40:00.003-04:00

Put Your Real Life On Pause: Those of us who romanticized a scallywag's life on the high seas thanks to Pirates Of The Caribbean have had a serious reality check. Pirates are definitely not like Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom. Bummer. But in case you've still got a touch of the skull-and-crossbones fever, fear not, South Park's got you covered this week.

What? South Park

When? 10 p.m. (repeat at midnight)

Where? Comedy Central

Why? First of all, it always bodes well when foul-mouthed cartoon characters make jokes out of a very serious real-life situations. Cartman, aka pirate Fatbeard, recruits Butters & Co to join him on a journey to Skull Island--dangling a tropical paradise in front of their noses like a Twinkie. So where are they going? Somalia of course! Too soon? Yeah, probably.

South Park is in its 13th (!) season, but growing older does not mean its getting any more mature. After all, what could possibly be more "pirate" than to capitalize on the traumatizing misfortunes of others. Hilarity, ahoy!

TV to DVD April 14

2009-04-13T10:17:00.007-04:00

Life is short, too short to watch commercials. If you don't have a DVR that will let you fast-forward through all the advertisements (and the first fifteen seconds the show if, like me, you're not so quick with the hand-eye coordination), then TV on DVD is the next best thing. While most of your Tuesday lunch money will go toward the purchase of new albums, if you find yourself more drawn toward the arts of the small-screen, here are some TV on DVD options out this week that are worth considering.

If you live in Canada, you get universal healthcare, and now:

Wolverine & the X-Men Season 1, Chapter 1 Limited Edition

Do your homework before the X-Men movie hits theaters this summer.

In case you missed it last week, check out:

Davey And Goliath: Lost Episodes

Claymation really is a lost art that can be best appreciated with this lost episodes collection.

Alias, Season 5

The previous edition of Season 5 has been discontinued and this one has taken its place. So what's different? You'll have to watch and see (and maybe be mad if you already have the complete series on DVD).

Capital Hill-arious

2009-04-06T11:07:00.006-04:00

Is that a human bone? You'll have to watch and see.

Put Your Real Life On Pause:

Parks And Recreation

When? 8:30 p.m. Thursday

Where? NBC

Who? Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Paul Schneider

Let's be honest, the business of local government isn't usually hilarious, or even entertaining really. But the folks over at NBC are on a roll when it comes to making faux-reality even better than real reality. We have the Office on Thursday nights, and beginning this week we have Parks And Recreation.

NBC's latest half-hour almost-reality comedy takes us to Pawnee, Indiana, where we meet Leslie Knope (Poehler), a mid-level bureaucrat in the Parks And Recreation department. Any one of us who's had even the most remote interaction with mid-level government bureaucrats knows what will ensue, but it's a lot funnier on TV than when you've actually waited in line for hours only to find out you were in the wrong line, in the wrong building, looking for a department that no longer exists but still requires two forms of identification to get in the door. Seriously.

I've got pretty high hopes for this show. While I don't expect it will trump Poehler's fellow SNL-alum Tina Fey's 30 Rock (which is also on NBC's killer Thursday night lineup), I think it'll put up a good fight. We'll have to watch and see.

What else is on this week?

It's The Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown! (8p.m. Tuesday on ABC)

Charlie Brown was emo before you even knew what MySpace was. Show some respect.

Special Savings

2009-03-30T10:19:00.005-04:00

Put Your Real Life On Pause: It seems like you can't turn on the TV, flip through the newspaper or go online without reading something about how the economy is in the toilet. I get it, we all do. But do we have to dwell on it all the time? I say no. But just in case you want to, here are some repression-approved programs to ensure you don't forget that Wall Street has pretty much turned to cannibalism.

Monday: Operation Repo (10p.m. on truTV)

Real-life repossessions on tape. Part of me feels like this kind of thing shouldn't be exploited for our own twisted entertainment, where we're simply marveling at other people's misfortunes. But then again, a part of me kind of wants to watch it.

Tuesday: The Hunt For Black Gold (9p.m. on CNBC)

If it worked for the Clampets, it can work for you. So go hunting, but just shoot at the ground, and find oil. I'm pretty sure that's how it happens.

Wednesday: Reno 911! (10:30p.m. on Comedy)

Sure, cable TV costs money, but laughter is the best medicine. (Don't ask me why those two things are related. Who's blog is this? Yours? No.) So with a new season of Reno 911 starting, who needs universal healthcare?

Thursday: Survivor (8p.m. on CBS)

For proof that you can survive for at least 39 days on nothing but rice, beans and the occasional reward-challenge buffet, you need look no further than Survivor. And wouldn't life be great if we had challenges like that in real life, where we had to stand on tree stumps for hours and solve puzzles and throw clay things at other clay things all in the hopes of winning immunity?

Friday: American Loggers (10p.m. on Discovery)

Looking for a job now that graduation is on the horizon? Ever considered logging? After seeing just how brutal it is, you might think twice about it. Crab fishing can't be that bad, right?

B.F.F.

2009-03-23T11:10:00.004-04:00

Put Your Real Life On Pause: There's no one in the world quite like your BFF. They laugh when you laugh, cry when you cry, spill soda all over your car when you slam on the brakes for a squirrel in the road that actually wasn't a squirrel but was a plastic bag that looked a lot like a squirrel from that angle. You've been there right? And where would we be without them? In jail for a lot longer because no one else would fork over the cash to bail us out, that's for sure. But enough about BFFs; This week, I want to help you be your own best friend (forever). Here's some recommended watching to help you help you.

Monday

Intervention (9p.m. on A&E)

This one's kind of an ace in the hole. Intervention teaches you valuable life lessons, while also scaring the daylights out of you, ensuring you never ever smoke meth at a horse-racing track.

Tuesday

Press Conference with President Obama (8p.m. on ABC/NBC/CBS/FOX/Everywhere)

Admittedly, this will likely be less entertaining than it was watching our commander-in-chief on Leno, but President Obama commands attention. It's on every major network, so it will be pretty unavoidable. Get civic, kiddo.

Wednesday

America's Next Top Model (8p.m. on CW)

I know what you're thinking, and no. I don't want you to pursue modeling as a career. I want you to stay in school and realize your dreams. Watching this should motivate you (or make you want to claw your own eyes out).

Thursday

30 Rock (9p.m. on NBC)

Tell me this: What can't we learn from Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin? Okay, you got me on Mandarin Chinese. You win this round.

Friday

Dog Whisperer (8p.m. on NGC)

Trust us: When your BFF gets out of control, just make that "shhht!" sound through your teeth and poke them in the neck. It works for Cesar every time.

A Little Madness

2009-03-16T10:15:00.001-04:00

Put Your Real Life On Pause: For those of you who live under a rock--or more than 30 miles away from a college with a basketball team--March Madness is upon us. So what does that mean? Since the opening round begins this week that means everyone will be lamenting and/or celebrating their bracket selections, but more importantly, it means some of your shows won't be on at their usual time and place. I know. I'm not happy about it either, but let's make due with what we've got.

Monday

House, M.D. (8p.m. on FOX)

I'm betting it's Lupus, or that they're at least going to test for Lupus. It's their go-to diagnosis.

Tuesday

House Hunters International (10p.m. on HGTV)

Not only will your mom be thrilled that you're watching HGTV, but this show will give you some sweet escape routes should the endless basketball over the ensuing weeks drive you completely nuts. Just sayin'.

Wednesday

Vanguard (10p.m. on Current)

Easily one of my absolute favorite shows on my absolute favorite channel, Vanguard won't give in to the madness. Vanguard is a sweet half-hour documentary, this week's topic is the credit debt crisis facing our generation. Learn now or pay later.

Thursday

College Basketball (it's everywhere)

Don't try to escape it today. Since it's the opening round games, there are still at least 742 teams in this thing.

Friday

Most Haunted (10p.m. on Travel)

What's scarier than all of your shows being pushed back for weeks? This haunted British ship! Check it.

TVs Best Bad Guys

2009-03-06T11:08:00.000-05:00

Put Your Real Life On Pause:What's Batman without the Joker? Superman without kryptonite? Bart Simpson without Sideshow Bob and Mr. Burns? That's right, even the good guys need balance. So this week, I'm bringing you the best in bad guys. Now some villains are just legendary, in the reality category for example: American Idol's Simon Cowell, the Apprentice's Emarosa, Survivor's Johnny Fairplay, the Hills' Spencer Pratt and the most recent Bachelor who was clearly a total jerk. We need these cold, mean, borderline real people to balance out the Lauren Conrads and Paula Abduls of the world. When it comes down to it, we want there to be bad guys. Who are the worst of the worst on TV this week? I'm glad you asked.

Monday

Sylar on Heroes (8p.m. on NBC)

Is he a hero or a villain? In this week's episode, Sylar meets his father during an "unusual reunion." Cryptic. I'm intrigued.

Tuesday

Cupcakes with sprinkles on The Biggest Loser (8p.m. on NBC)

Alright, so Tuesday's a little light on evil-doers. I can't say cupcakes are always bad, on the contrary, they're usually quite delicious in the right context. Honestly, I admire the contestants on The Biggest Loser--it takes guts to exercise and get on a scale in front of millions of people. I won't even go to the gym.

Wednesday

Benjamin Linus and/or Charles Widmore on Lost (9p.m. on ABC)

Which one is bad? Which one is good? We don't know! But then again, do we really know anything about Lost? However, since Ben totally killed Locke, my money's on him as the villain.

Thursday

Jury duty on 30 Rock (9:30p.m. on NBC)

When is jury duty a good thing? Everyone tries to dodge it, but this week it claims our beloved Liz Lemon. It's going to be hilarious.

Friday

Bratty kids on The Supernanny (9p.m. on ABC)

Truth be told, I only watch the first half-hour or so of Supernanny. Once the kids start behaving, it gets boring. I guess that's what would happen if Batman put the Joker on a time-out mat, and the the Joker started doing his chores and saying "please" and "thank-you." Who wants to live in that kind of world?

New shows, stat!

2009-03-02T08:41:00.000-05:00

Put Your Real Life On Pause: You may or may not have realized that after about 65 seasons, ER is finally looking at its watch and calling it. Why ER is ending, we can't be sure. It was ER that made me want to be a doctor (we can all see how that turned out), but never want to go to a hospital because I knew what was going on behind-the-scenes (holy love triangle, batman!). So while we still have some time, I wanted to prepare you for the two-hour season finale on April 2. George Clooney (Doug) and Julianna Margulies (Carol) will be back! And Susan Sarandon and Gilmore Girls' Alexis Bledel will also make guest appearances in the finale (though their characters are supposed to be introduced in next week's episode on March 12). Speaking of ER, I hear Chris Brown and Rihanna have reconciled, so in the spirit of forgiveness, let's take this week to reconcile with the shows that may or may not have assualted our intelligence (or our faces) in the past. It's time to put it all behind us, and watch....

Monday
The Bachelor (8 p.m. on ABC)
It's the finale, so if there's a time to watch the Bachelor, it's now--even for those of you with commitment issues.

Tuesday
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:30 a.m. on NBC)
Goodbye Conan, Hello Jimmy. That's right, Jimmy Fallon is officially taking over for Conan O'Brien this week. (I guess you could start watching on Monday, but I don't want to be the guinea pig.) In some ways, I feel like Fallon's had enough chances, but let's just give him this one. Besides, Tina Fey is his guest and we know we can count on her to be funny.

Wednesday
America's Next Top Model (8 p.m. on CW)
Usually I like to watch America's Top Model only in marathons, but this week's two-hour premeire kicks off a whole new season. Tyra Banks annoys the living daylight out of me, but let's watch it for Miss J.

Thursday
The Office (9 p.m. on NBC)
That's right, the Office is in need of forgiveness. That past few episodes have been downright disappointment, and quite frankly, they've built us up to expect so much more from Michael Scott & Co. I want things to be the way they used to be, so since it's a Valentine's Day episode, I'm going to give them a clean slate.

Friday
Oh, who are we kidding? There really isn't anything good on Friday night this week except for Ghost Whisperer, but I'm so behind on that show that no amount of DVR-ing can help me. So this week, trade the small screen for the big screen and see some of the Oscar-winners (or should-have-been-winners) or rent Beverly Hills Chihuahua, like I will be doing...

As always, let me know what I missed (or should have missed). Happy Watching!

Based On A True Story

2009-02-23T09:04:00.000-05:00

Put Your Real Life On Pause: What ever happened to the after-school special? You know what I'm talking about, those corny movies that warned us about the dangers of drugs, eating disorders, wandering away from your mom at the mall and wearing leather jackets, and of course these made-for-TV-gems were always based on actual events to ensure they scared us straight. In that spirit, I bring you "Watch Me: Special Edition (The After-School Special Story)" and will recommend an after-school show to fill that void--and maybe even teach you something about life. Maybe.

Monday
The Darjeeling Limited (4:30 p.m. on Cinemax)
Look in the mirror, take off that leather jacket, and ask yourself when didn't you learn something from a Wes Anderson film? Yeah, that's what I thought.
(p.s. If you don't get Cinemax, you should totally Netflix this one)

Tuesday
The O.C. (3 p.m & 4 p.m. on Soap)
There is so much we can learn from the troubled characters of Orange County: drugs, lies, money, corruption, questionable fashion choices. Yep, Coop & Co. have it all.

Wednesday
The Skulls (3 p.m. on AMC)

College life is full of dangerous situations, not the least of which is sketchy food, but the horrors of cereal and wilty salad pale in comparison to membership in exclusive, and deadly, campus clubs (you should be all right with choir, but Paul Walker and Pacey make no promises).

Thursday
If Looks Could Kill: The John Hawkins Story (4 p.m. on LMN)

We found one! It's based a true story (it even says so in the title!) and it's about a drug dealer evading the law. The after-school special lives! (Well, sort of. I don't think there are any scenes on the soccer-field bleachers, which is an after-school special "must-have.")

Friday

20 Best And Worst Celebrity Plastic Surgeries (3 p.m. on E!)

Ignore the "bests," and just take the "worsts" as a warning. Nothing in life comes easy, except maybe on Deal Or No Deal.

And there you have it: All of life's major lessons in five days--and you don't even have to leave your couch. Do you have any after-school special memories, or life-lessons you'd like to share? Either make a made-for-TV movie about, or just leave it in the comments, depending on how ambitious you feel today.

Brought To You By The Letter J

2009-02-16T09:00:00.000-05:00

Put Your Real Life On Pause:

I'll be honest. I never watched Sesame Street. Even as I was looking for a Sesame Street photo for this blog, they freaked me out. The puppets are creepy and their voices are straight out of nightmares. That said, I know a lot of people grew up with Big Bird, Elmo and the like, so with that in mind, we're doing a TV lineup Sesame-style (well, it's brought you by letters. Like I said, I didn't watch the show.)

Monday (brought to you by the letter H!)
Watch It: House (8p.m. on FOX)
Not only will there be another diagnosis drama, but House is going to confront Foreman and Thirteen about their relationship. I'm not psychic, but I think there are going to be a lot of witty zingers involved.
DVR It: Heroes (9p.m. on NBC)
Gossip Girl is a rerun, might as well DVR Heroes this week.

Tuesday (Brought to you by the letter R! - as in "reruns" and "recession")
Now that 90210 episodes are all going to be repeats until March, I'm boycotting television on Tuesday. If you must watch something, watch Scrubs at 9 p.m. on ABC (but don't get your hopes up, it's a repeat too.) Don't these TV execs know anyway about economics? When times are bad, people want entertainment to keep their mind off it. Recession = Don't give us reruns.

Wednesday (Brought to you by the letter L!)
Watch It: Lost (9p.m. on ABC)
After all the time they spent trying to get off the island, now they try to get back on it? Gilligan & Co. would never put us through such drama.
DVR It: Law And Order (10p.m. on NBC)
Not only is the theme song fantastic (dom-dom, do-do-do-do-do), but it's a great show to watch a few days later.

Thursday (Brought to you by the letter S!)
Watch It: Survivor (8p.m. on CBS)
It has all the makings of a great season--if you haven't seen last week's episode yet, what are you waiting for? Get to Googlin'.
DVR It: Supernatural (9p.m. on CW)
A) I needed another show that started with an "S." B) It's all about metaphysical, supernatural stuff, which goes great with pizza rolls.

Friday (Brought to you by the letter D!)
Watch It: Dollhouse (9p.m. on FOX)

I've been hearing a lot about this show, but have yet to check it out. However, considering the sci-fi drama was created by the Joss Whedon (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, anyone?), I'm going to go out on a limb and give it a shot.
DVR It: Dog Whisperer (8p.m. on NGC)
Nothing says "Friday-night dance party" like exercise, obedience and affection. Where my pack leaders at?

Its Time

2009-02-09T08:25:00.001-05:00

Watch Me: It's Time

It's only Monday and you already miss the weekend. Fear not: This week's lineup will have you saying, "What weekend?" And not in the literal, mild-concussion sense. This week, it's all about the OMG-factor. There are no runners-up in life, and hence there will be no runners-up on my list this week.

Put Your Real Life On Pause:

Survivor (8p.m. Thursday on CBS)

Thirty-seven (actually, 11) seasons in, and I still can't get enough of people starving to death, fighting over dry rice and playing ridiculous games in the jungle at the behest of Jeff Probst. Seriously, I've been watching Survivor since I was a freshman in high school. No joke. And look where it's gotten me. Yeah, start watching.

Think you can survive the rest of the week? Not without these you can't:

Monday

OMG-factor: Fashion Police (10 p.m. on E!) Who won the Grammys last night? You can find that anywhere. Who wore what to the Grammys? Now that's a topic for experts. While I fully expect to fully disagree with all of the opinions on this special-edition Fashion Police, I am fully convinvced it will be the best way to spend that hour of my life. Fully.

Tuesday

OMG-factor: Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown (8p.m. on ABC) Oh, what's that? You're too cool for Charlie Brown? Your loss, amigo. If there's one thing I love more than the overt commercialization of a holiday, is the addition of any and all Peanuts. In all honesty, it's the only Charlie Brown holiday special that I don't own on DVD, so you know I'll be watching.

Wednesday

OMG-factor: Lost (9p.m. on Wednesday) I know, I know, not really as shocking as the rest of the week, but Wednesday is a little slow. Somebody write me a new sitcom, or start filming a reality show for YouTube and send me the link on Wednesdays.

Thursday

OMG-factor: Sorry, Office, you've let me down two episodes in a row. I'm not mad, just disappointed. See above.

Friday

OMG-factor: Friday is a toss-up. There are all kinds of awkward, domestic arguments to be had with a new Wife Swap (8p.m. on ABC), but there's that 13-Fear Is Real show (9p.m. on the CW) that I've been meaning to laugh at. Screw it, I'm watching the Charlie Brown Valentine special again.

Until next week, keep your noses clean and don't wear high-waisted jeans, no matter what Jessica Simpson's stylist tells you.

Starting Now

2009-02-02T10:22:00.000-05:00

Watch Me: Starting Now

Some people have dramatic, dangerous, hilarious lives. Other people just watch them on TV. If you're in the second category, you're in luck! I'll be here every Monday helping you plan your life. I'll tell you what to watch, when to watch it and why knee-high gladiator boots are a bad investment; Rest easy, I've got you covered.

Put Your Real Life On Pause:

This weekend are the historic and occasionally shocking Grammy awards. Will I watch it? Maybe. Will I scrutinize all of the outfits the next day on the internet? Absolutely.

What else is on this week?

MONDAY

WATCH: Heroes-new! (9 p.m. on NBC)

LEARN: Big Mac: Inside The McDonald's Empire (9 p.m. on CNBC)

DVR: Gossip Girl-new! (8 p.m. on CW)

Even though you might not really want to know where that Big Mac came from, the more you know, the less you'll want to super-size.

TUESDAY

WATCH: 90210-new! (8 p.m. on CW)

LEARN: Scrubs-new! (9 p.m. on ABC) What? You'll learn about medical things…

DVR: Fringe-new! (9 p.m. on FOX)

I might take some heat from Lost devotees for recommending 90210 over Fringe, but this is the episode where Adriana is going to confront (and reveal) her baby-daddy, and we learn if Ethan survived the car crash that Annie's phone call may or may not have caused. Sorry, J.J. Abrams, we've got real-world problems this week.

WEDNESDAY

WATCH: Lost-new! (9 p.m. on ABC)

LEARN: Killer Germs (10 p.m. on Discovery)

DVR: American Idol-new! (8 p.m. on Fox)

The people who watch Lost don't just "watch Lost": They discuss, theorize, hypothesize--often in very close range to people who don't watch or care about or acknowledge the existence of this supposed "Lost." So to the latter group of people: DVR the new American Idol not because we take it seriously, but because it's still early enough in the season that all of the hilariously awful singers are still on it.

THURSDAY

WATCH: The Office then 30 Rock-both new! (9 and 9:30 p.m., respectively, on NBC)

LEARN: Treasure Quest-new! (10 p.m. on Discovery)

DVR: Grey’s Anatomy-new! (9 p.m. on ABC)

After that hour-long episode following the Super Bowl, this episode of The Office has a lot to live up to. The good news: It's a new episode of The Office! The bad news: It's part of 1 of 2. Prepare now for the sigh of exasperation when the screen reads, “To be continued…”

FRIDAY

WATCH: Franz Ferdinand perform on Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson (12:30 a.m. on CBS)

LEARN: Man Vs. Wild (10 p.m. on Discovery)

DVR: Ghost Whisperer-new! (8 p.m. on CBS)

I can't be alone in this one: I love Ghost Whisperer for the plot, yes, but more so for Jennifer Love Hewitt’s over-the-top wardrobe. While only trained professionals should try to recreate the ensembles in their entirely, you could totally rock that long coat or empire-waist dress.

What am I forgetting? You know you know, now let me know!

On Track

2009-01-26T10:14:00.001-05:00

One of my favorite forms of procrastination is reading other people's blogs. To me, blogs are essentially this incredible, crazy little place where people are talking to themselves but the whole world can listen in. Trippy, eh?

Anyway, one of my favorite blogs to read is MartinSays.com, which belongs to Martin Johnson of Boys Like Girls. Usually it's hilarious anecdotes and various challenges accompanied by videos he shoots (yes, he's a very multi-talented artist, kids) and updates on the goings-on of the band.

Yesterday, he posted some very good news: BLG have finished writing their new album and plan to start tracking as soon as they get home from tour. There was also bad news: He lost his sunglasses. Well, you win some, you lose some, Marty--keep writing so that I can keep procrastinating.

Wanna get inside his head? Check it out here.

DVRs everywhere are busy

2009-01-20T11:00:00.000-05:00

Happy Inauguration Day, everyone!

I left my TV on at home today--wasting electricity, I know--so that my little Chihuahua could also enjoy this historic moment.

Did you volunteer yesterday like Obama--excuse me, President Obama--asked us to? I'll be honest, I thought about it, but then forgot until today.

Commiserate With Me

2009-01-15T16:33:00.001-05:00

In case you live under a rock--or somewhere warm, in which case I am insanely jealous and demand you send me a little bottle of sand immediately--it's extremely cold here in Cleveland, like, step-outside-for-one-second-without-gloves-and-you'll-never-type-again cold. Seriously. I'm wearing three layers today, not counting my coat. And my arms hurt from doing yoga last night for the first time in months. And I'm out of coffee, but the prospect of facing sub-zero temperatures for a $5 soy latte is not enticing enough to lure me from my desk. And I want to make a Pear, Raspberry And Oat Loaf when I get home, but sadly, I don't have pears, raspberries or oats at home. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a summary of my daily dilemmas.

Did I mention it's impossibly cold out?

Blogdog

2009-01-13T12:31:00.000-05:00

Mondays are known as heralds of responsibility. So in honor of carefully budgeting one's time and not procrastinating, my husband and I went to the movies. (Wait, the first half of that sentence doesn't quite match the last half...). All movies are $5 on Mondays at the independent movie theatre just up the road from our casa, so we ate a quick dinner of veggie Italian sausages (not a meal I'd recommend be consumed quickly. They're quite spicy, but delicious) and bundled up.

We had planned on seeing Milk, but I literally had taken two steps in the door when the man in the ticket booth yelled that Milk has just sold out. So instead we saw Slumdog Millionaire, which just cleaned house at the Golden Globes. I had high hopes, since so many people were heralding it as the sleeper hit of the year. It was a great story, I particularly liked the beginning of the story when the brothers were young. (Maybe "liked" isn't the right word since some of th events were pretty horrific, but at least I thought that was the most compelling part of the fim.) Not to rain on everyone's rupee parade, because I really did like the movie, but it got a little formulaic and predictable toward the end.

Then we went home, I curled up with our Chihuahua Jack and took a nap while Robb read the last few pages of his law school assignment. Not bad for a Monday.

Kernels Of Truth

2009-01-12T15:28:00.000-05:00

I like to think of myself as the kind of person who likes winter. I love snow and thick, comfy sweaters and big mugs of hot cocoa. So I wasn't too disturbed by the blizzard that hit Cleveland this weekend. It's actually kind of nice (minus the slushy, slippery roads). I especially enjoy relaxing on a cold, winter night with a good book.

As many of you know, I had a serious bought with a Twilight obsession a few weeks back. The good news is that I've started reading a new book that isn't from the Twilight series. (The sad news is that I'm doing so in part to slow down the process of finishing the series. I only have two books left to go, then it will be over!).

Anyway, the book I'm reading now is The Omnivore's Dilemma, by Michael Pollan. My husband read the book, and recommended it to me, and it really is eye-opening and heart-breaking at the same time. Nearly three years ago, I made the decision to become a vegetarian based on a variety of reasons (health, treatment of animals, social justice concerns, environmental concerns) so I've done my research on the devastating affects our diet can have on our planet and the beings, human or otherwise, that we share it with. This book takes it to whole different level as Pollan breaks down our modern food chain, link by link. The results are shocking and compelling--and I'm still on the chapter about corn! I never thought corn could be so interesting, but the developments that have shaped the corn industry which has in turn shaped the factory farm industry and the processed foods industry is fascinatingly horrific.

We are what we eat--we've heard that mantra a million times--so as Pollan says, we are a lot of chemicals and corn, and even more petroleum. Check it out.

525,600 blog posts

2009-01-09T11:40:00.000-05:00

How do you measure, measure a blog?

Okay, enough parody because I'm really excited to be seeing Rent tonight. It's one of my absolute favorite musicals (and let me tell you, I love me some musical theater), but I've yet to see it on stage. As much as I love the theater, it can be downright expensive. How did I see Les Miserables? In a high school gymnasium. It was great though! It was no Broadway of course, but the high school drama group's performance was fantastic and made me realize what it is I love so much the stage in the first place - it can go from the flashing lights of NYC to the snowy parking lots of Lima, Ohio.

I was always involved in my high school drama group (more often as chorus girl #9 than as a speaking role, but that wasn't the point) and for my first two years of college before some daunting classes set in, and it was fantastic every time. There's something about the stage, the lights, the smelly costumes, the nerves and the cold sweat that trickles down your back as you stand on a darkened stage, listening to the overture, waiting for the curtain to rise.

I love movies, but they're no match for live theater. Sometime I wonder why we're compelled to pretend to be other people, to tell stories, to capture and portray emotions that aren't ours. I'm no expert, but I think it has something to do with the understanding we all crave. We all want to be understood and to understand each other, and sometimes the best way to do that is with a story and song. That, and there are so many great stories in the world, it seems a shame to waste them.

We All Grow Young

2009-01-07T12:15:00.000-05:00

I didn't get to see a ton of movies over the holidays (Doubt and Frost/Nixon are high on my soon-to-see list), but I did take $8 and three hours on a Tuesday night to go see The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button at my local AMC.

First off, the CGI was nothing short of phenomenal. How they got "old Brad Pitt's face" so convincingly on all of those different bodies was impressive. I felt that the plotline however was kind of flat. My husband compared it to Forrest Gump, and I would agree, but I would say that the characters in Forrest Gump were more dynamic and the story overall more compelling.

Ruminations about age and growth and death as presented in the film were intriguing, but I felt like they really could have been explored and exemplified a lot more. As **spoiler alert** Benjamin reverse-aged back into an infant, there was the tension and inner-conflict of Cate Blanchett's character as I expected, but given the three hours the characters had to work within, I would have expected my own expectations of what reverse-aging would be to be challenged. Maybe I was tired of sitting on the theater seat, or maybe I'd had to much popcorn (is there such a thing?) but I left the movie feeling that my pre-conceived notions were reaffirmed rather than challenged.

I'm not saying it wasn't a good movie--because it was--but I guess I was expecting more than I, well, expected.

Has anyone else seen the movie? Do you agree or did you walk away with a different reaction?

Back In Black

2009-01-06T08:38:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year, everyone!

What's that? It's the 6th? Okay, so I'm fashionably late. Give me one good example of how punctuality really made a difference--and no fair choosing something like a coordinated military strike because that will never apply to me--who would trust these hands with anything explosive? Honestly. I just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year, and you get all uppity.

So how were your holidays? Did you also spend a shameful amount of time reading the Twilight series? I know I did. I racked up quite a few miles on the auto visiting family over the holidays, but thankfully was able to keep my food indulgences in check. (My husband and I made a valiant effort to go vegan for a month. We'll talk about that later. I don't think punctuality contributed to its demise.)

So after a fabulous holiday break, we're back to work. Actually, we work back to work yesterday, cranking out a lot a really great stuff for '09. Seriously, I'm super excited about it and you should be too. There are so many talented bands right now, it kind of makes me freeze up whenever I open my iTunes. (I still haven't downloaded the upgrade so I can have iTunes Genuis. I'm way behind the curve on that one.)

So what to listen to, what to listen to...

Sharp Enough?

2008-12-23T13:40:00.000-05:00

Whenever I read a book before seeing a movie based on aforementioned book, it usually ends badly. So I didn't have high hopes when I bought my matinee ticket to Twilight after successfully navigating a precariously icy parking lot. I hadn't eaten any breakfast yet, so Robb and I bought a large popcorn that conveniently served as both breakfast and lunch (mmm, nutrition).

And then the movie began...

I'm still torn. I planned on sharing my thoughts with you sooner, but the problem is that I still haven't quite settled on a final verdict. I feel like if I hadn't read the book, then I might have really liked the movie (except for Bella's narration which was painfully boring and explained way too much). Even if I hadn't read the book, I think I would have found the fight scene between Edward and James just as anti-climactic. Even though the fight was a very short part of the book, it was an interesting read. In the movie, it was kind of dull and over way too fast. I feel like that was a really great opportunity for some seriously vampiric special-effects, but the movie pulled the punches.

All in all, I'm still looking forward to reading New Moon over the holidays. As for whether or not I'll see the movie for that one when it comes out, that still depends...

I'm dreaming

2008-12-19T17:54:00.000-05:00

I won't lie. I'm a sucker for a snowy Christmas, but the weather here isn't quite as "White Christmas" as it is "Icy Death Trap." It's not fun.

I was doing an interview this morning with a certain person from a certain record label in a certain city most of you know as the Big Apple, and he shed some positive light on blizzards: "At least it keeps the tourists at bay."

So true. So true.

Post-Twilight

2008-12-15T13:34:00.000-05:00

I'm not proud, but I will admit that I stayed up later than I intended on both Saturday and Sunday just to finish Twilight. I am proud to say, however, that I made it through the ending without a single tear--but I was left fighting a terrible urge to put my coat on and head out in the middle of the night to buy the next book. (You'll be pleased to know that I didn't do that, but I am adding it to my Christmas list).

To be completely honest, I'm surprised at how much I liked the book. There was something about the simultaneous strength and vulnerability of the characters that made all of them--even the vampires--strikingly human. Obviously the story requires some imaginative liberty and a reader willing to bridge the gap between improbable and impossible in their own mind.But for me, it was a great read and a great little weekend adventure. I'm curious though as to what guys who've read the book think about it (when I hinted that werewolves could be involved, Robb became interested) simply because so much of the book is Bella gushing about Edward's dazzling eyes and radiant skin and ice-cold embrace, etc., etc. How do the guy readers react to that, or does it not matter?

This weekend I'm going to see a matinee showing of the movie (what? The book was good, but I'm not dropping $8+ on the movie), and we'll see if it can live up to the book. Will this Robert Pattinson fellow, who everyone seems to be going ga-ga over, live up to the mystique that is Edward Cullen? I've found that movies rarely outdo the books, but I'm going to remain hopeful. I'll let you know how it goes.

Bitten

2008-12-14T12:48:00.000-05:00

I'll be honest. I was one of those people who thought, "It will never happen to me." I thought I was immune, but the truth is, it can happen to anyone. It happened to me this weekend. I bought the book Twilight, and I haven't been able to put it down.

How did this happen? I'm still not quite sure. I've made it through life without having picked up a single Harry Potter book (everyone I know says they're amazing books, I just never felt the urge to read them). I pride myself on a diverse and well-researched reading list that's appropriate for my age. But I guess the never-ending onslaught of trailers on TV finally got to me, and there was no way in Forks I was going to see the movie without having read the book.

But that's all in the past, because now the little paperback has been glued to my hand all weekend. (I wanted the smaller paperback and the only one Borders had was the movie cover. I hate having the movie cover, but that's another story entirely.) And now I'm torn: One on hand, I can't put the put the book down and the sooner I finish it, the sooner I can see the movie. On the other hand, the book is so good, I just don't want to finish it.

But right now, Bella's walking into the woods and she may or may not have figured out what Edward really is... How can I blog at a time like this??