As the ruin blogs.
I'm facing a rather significant moral dilemma.
No, it's not regarding who to vote for in the upcoming presidental election. (Whaddya think I am, a completely unqualified moron who people almost -- just almost -- feel bad about making them the butt of every joke before realizing that what she spews out of her mouth is funnier than any scripted TV sitcom could ever be [sorry, the writers of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia -- you're brilliant, but not even you could script this kind of sheer stupidity]?)
Rather, my moral dilemma is this: I will be attending the Fest 7 in Gainesville, Florida, this year and coincidentally, its first day is Friday, Oct. 31 -- more commonly known as the night the Great Pumpkin appears. As such, my girlfriend and I have concocted what is probably the best costume I've ever been a part of (and that includes my Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker outfit from my junior year of college). We're going as the greatest pair of star-crossed lovers in the history of rock 'n' roll.
Deryck and Avril? Nope.
Pete and Ashlee? Pshyeah right.
Chad and Hayley? (Oh snap, I went there.) But wrong again. We've decided to go as the following:
For those of you who don't habla Espanol, that's a picture of none other than Meat Loaf and Karla DeVito,aka the pair responsible for one of the greatest karaoke jams of, well, ever, "Paradise By The Dashboard Light." I mean just look at the chemistry between these two:
Plus, they're certainly not afraid to bring the rock, something the girlfriend and I strongly believe in:
So what's the dilemma, you ask? Well, as you may notice from the above photos, Mr. Loaf doesn't rock much in the way of facial hair. As you can see from this picture taken mere moments ago, I do. Here's where the dilemma gets really dilemma-riffic, though: The Fest is essentially the Mecca of beard-punks worldwide. If you're not rocking at least a little facial hair (ladies too), you're viewed as a spy from absolutepunk.net trying to ruin good music and treated as such. So here's the $1,000,000 question:
Do I shave my beard off to make my Halloween costume historically accurate at the risk of being ostracized by my friends and colleagues at the Fest??
1. Totally! It's just a beard, it'll grow back.
2. Shave the beard? That's sacrilege, dude! Meat Loaf will never know if you rock your costume with a little extra fur on the face.
3. Shave your beard off to make the costume look as accurate as possible, but to avoid mockery the rest of the weekend, purchase a fake beard to wear on Saturday and Sunday.
Please select one answer below and leave a comment with which one you picked. Vote or die, peeps! And while you're at it, why don't you tell me what you're gonna dress up as this Halloween?
No, it's not regarding who to vote for in the upcoming presidental election. (Whaddya think I am, a completely unqualified moron who people almost -- just almost -- feel bad about making them the butt of every joke before realizing that what she spews out of her mouth is funnier than any scripted TV sitcom could ever be [sorry, the writers of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia -- you're brilliant, but not even you could script this kind of sheer stupidity]?)
Rather, my moral dilemma is this: I will be attending the Fest 7 in Gainesville, Florida, this year and coincidentally, its first day is Friday, Oct. 31 -- more commonly known as the night the Great Pumpkin appears. As such, my girlfriend and I have concocted what is probably the best costume I've ever been a part of (and that includes my Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker outfit from my junior year of college). We're going as the greatest pair of star-crossed lovers in the history of rock 'n' roll.
Deryck and Avril? Nope.
Pete and Ashlee? Pshyeah right.
Chad and Hayley? (Oh snap, I went there.) But wrong again. We've decided to go as the following:
For those of you who don't habla Espanol, that's a picture of none other than Meat Loaf and Karla DeVito,aka the pair responsible for one of the greatest karaoke jams of, well, ever, "Paradise By The Dashboard Light." I mean just look at the chemistry between these two:
Plus, they're certainly not afraid to bring the rock, something the girlfriend and I strongly believe in:
So what's the dilemma, you ask? Well, as you may notice from the above photos, Mr. Loaf doesn't rock much in the way of facial hair. As you can see from this picture taken mere moments ago, I do. Here's where the dilemma gets really dilemma-riffic, though: The Fest is essentially the Mecca of beard-punks worldwide. If you're not rocking at least a little facial hair (ladies too), you're viewed as a spy from absolutepunk.net trying to ruin good music and treated as such. So here's the $1,000,000 question:
Do I shave my beard off to make my Halloween costume historically accurate at the risk of being ostracized by my friends and colleagues at the Fest??
1. Totally! It's just a beard, it'll grow back.
2. Shave the beard? That's sacrilege, dude! Meat Loaf will never know if you rock your costume with a little extra fur on the face.
3. Shave your beard off to make the costume look as accurate as possible, but to avoid mockery the rest of the weekend, purchase a fake beard to wear on Saturday and Sunday.
Please select one answer below and leave a comment with which one you picked. Vote or die, peeps! And while you're at it, why don't you tell me what you're gonna dress up as this Halloween?
posted by Scott Heisel at
1:09 AM
11 Comments:
FAKE BEARD!
In the interest of complete disclosure, I wholeheartedly endorse Scott's facial hair. I believe a beard chooses a man, a man does not choose a beard. Scott's face fuzz is a shining example of a gift from the gods of facial hair. Mr. Loaf was not as blessed.. He probably wishes he could grow a beard like yours.
I vote, trim it down some, but don't lose it completely.
wear a fake, non beard. if that makes sense.
Keep the beard, Scott. You'll fit in really well at the Fest. And I mean that in a nice way.
And I plan on dressing up as Tim from Spaced for Halloween.
I can't (nor do I want to) picture you without some sort of epic facial hair.
TEAM KEEP THE BEARD
Oh, and I made a skeleton costume for Halloween. It's recycled from a couple of years ago because I'm trying to slowly go green. Halloween costumes count, right?
Fake beards are lameee. Keep the beard.
ditch the full beard and go with mutton chops. you can never go wrong with mutton chops.
I'm on Team Keep The Beard as well.
I'm gonna be Charlie Brown for Halloween.
Go with the fake beard. And don't forget the top hat and monocle while you're at it.
Isn't your lady a blonde? Is she going to dye her hair for this?
If not, then keep the beard...
Even if she is going to, I say keep the beard. I mean how else are we going to pick you out in a crowd at a show?
;)
Fake beard. Halloween is more important than anything, even punk rock cred. I'm still considering giving myself bangs and hitting myself in the head with a pan until I turn retarded to make my Sarah Palin costume more authentic.
Post a Comment
<< Home