Blogs apparently pay by the letter.
First off, I'm not entirely certain that the photo to the right is actually me.
Yeah, that's my hoodie and my general aura of malaise, but I distinctly remember having a chin and, to a lesser extent, I don't remember ever having red hair. (I also don't remember most of seventh grade thanks to a bottle rocket and one strap of velcro I wish I'd never fastened to my ear.)
I chalk this up to the fact that I'm either unable to or unwilling to take a good picture. I also chalk this up to the fact that I never look the same in photographs twice. (Refer to: Table 1.2 below.)
Anyway, you're not here for eye candy.
If you were, you'd be at Jason Pettigrew's blog.
And if you were there, you wouldn't be elbow-deep in egocentrism right now.
But since you're here, a solid four paragraphs in, you're either:
A) Looking for the website of North Carolina Creedmoor County commissioner Tim Karan
B) Someone who ran into me on the AP Tour and I owe you money, cigarettes and/or (in one instance) a miniature schnauzer
C) My mom
D) Really, really, really, really, really not into writing your report on Bulgarian economical reform
I can only hope you fall into one of the last two categories.
Right.
You're probably wondering what it is that qualifies me to write on this blog.
Well, I work at AP and I've got a computer. Those were really the two prerequisites our New Media department simply wouldn't budge on.
I'm associate editor, which means my name pops up in a couple different sections of the magazine and website. If you're in an unsigned band, I'm the guy who's gonna listen to your demo. If you answer the AP Poll, I'm the guy who reads your answer and pulls out 73 percent of the swearing. Am I renaissance man? I really can't say. But yes. I also can recite Pi to four places.
Look, I gotta run.
(Not literally. I jogged up three steps today and had to set up a base camp for a few hours. I killed a goat for sustenance. To be fair, that goat had been antagonizing me for weeks.)
But I wanna hear from you.
Here are a few things I like. Feel free to let me know your thoughts on any/all:
Table 1.2
These photographs were taken of me a mere six hours apart. The differences are subtle, but many.)
Yeah, that's my hoodie and my general aura of malaise, but I distinctly remember having a chin and, to a lesser extent, I don't remember ever having red hair. (I also don't remember most of seventh grade thanks to a bottle rocket and one strap of velcro I wish I'd never fastened to my ear.)
I chalk this up to the fact that I'm either unable to or unwilling to take a good picture. I also chalk this up to the fact that I never look the same in photographs twice. (Refer to: Table 1.2 below.)
Anyway, you're not here for eye candy.
If you were, you'd be at Jason Pettigrew's blog.
And if you were there, you wouldn't be elbow-deep in egocentrism right now.
But since you're here, a solid four paragraphs in, you're either:
A) Looking for the website of North Carolina Creedmoor County commissioner Tim Karan
B) Someone who ran into me on the AP Tour and I owe you money, cigarettes and/or (in one instance) a miniature schnauzer
C) My mom
D) Really, really, really, really, really not into writing your report on Bulgarian economical reform
I can only hope you fall into one of the last two categories.
Right.
You're probably wondering what it is that qualifies me to write on this blog.
Well, I work at AP and I've got a computer. Those were really the two prerequisites our New Media department simply wouldn't budge on.
I'm associate editor, which means my name pops up in a couple different sections of the magazine and website. If you're in an unsigned band, I'm the guy who's gonna listen to your demo. If you answer the AP Poll, I'm the guy who reads your answer and pulls out 73 percent of the swearing. Am I renaissance man? I really can't say. But yes. I also can recite Pi to four places.
Look, I gotta run.
(Not literally. I jogged up three steps today and had to set up a base camp for a few hours. I killed a goat for sustenance. To be fair, that goat had been antagonizing me for weeks.)
But I wanna hear from you.
Here are a few things I like. Feel free to let me know your thoughts on any/all:
- Major League Baseball
- Lost
- Thrice
- Double Stuf Oreos
- Jenna Fischer (from The Office)
- Bullet points
Table 1.2
These photographs were taken of me a mere six hours apart. The differences are subtle, but many.)
posted by Tim Karan at
8:05 PM
7 Comments:
I laughed aloud.
Actually, it's a report on the in depth analysis of physiological warfare, but you were close.
Bullet point are great, unless of course your writing on Open Office, then they are just hellish.
haha i loved reading this blog. Can't wait to hear more from you
and bullet points are simply fantastic.
=]]
peave&love,becca
I'm here because of letter "D" but it's a book report on Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis that was due three days ago, not Bulgarian Economical Reform.
sorry you have to edit out my swearing in the AP Poll...i really like the word fuck.
Major League Baseball: better in person...go brewers!
Lost: that show confuses the hell outta me...I stopped watching after the 2nd episode
Thrice: loving the old, hating the new
Double Stuff Oreos: are amazing...but not when you consume a whole package in an hour.
Jenna Fischer: hilarious on the tonight show
Bullet points: overused and overrated...but I still use them.
Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim.
Where to begin, dude?
Yes I met you on the AP Tour while working with you, but you certainly don't owe me anything.
How did you know I was avoiding homework? It's actually my last essential grad project question. Freakin state education rules. Not.
Bleh. Well, I'm working the Circa Survive, Thrice, and Pelican show tomorrow for AP so that should be sweet. Then the next night is the Fall of Troy show with all those other bands I'm too lazy to type up right now.
Well, I told you I would subscribe and this I did. Keep in touch, man.
After June 23, I'll be seeing you in Chicago! And then hopefully one day in Cleavland interning for AP...
Talk to you later.
Brittany
wow.. I just started reading, but I have to say, you are hilarious.
great blog, keep it up! :]
peace..
You won't believe this, but I fall under the fourth category almost perfectly. (Except for the fact that my paper is on Cape Verde, not Bulgaria)
It's like you a psychic, or something!
Add that to your list of talents (and don't try to act like you don't have one.)
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