Things I Think I Learned This Week

Look, I'm pretty much done learning things.
I'm passed the point in life where I'm open to new concepts (like understanding Portuguese or folding clean clothes).
Whatever I had in my frontal lobe sometime around March of 2004, that's pretty much what I'm gonna hang onto.
Still, against my own intentions, sometimes the nightwatchman inside my brain falls asleep listening to Death Cab, leaves the gates cracked open and the occasional rogue piece of information sneaks in.
It's a problem.
But here's a little (music and non-music related) of what made it over the border this week:

• Damiera really kinda sound like Michael Jackson now--in a way that makes me so excited that I want to karate chop myself in the spleen. Their first album M(us)ic was sort of a post-proggy batch of songs, but their new album Quiet Mouth, Loud Hands simultaneously evokes Rush, Maroon 5, Coheed, Michael Jackson and, oddly enough, Alien Ant Farm--who really only got famous because they covered a Michael Jackson song. Whether they were going for that or not, it doesn't really matter to me. Apparently, I like music with lots of shit going on.



• Apparently, I like music with lots of shit going on. It's true. I was having a conversation in Scott Heisel's car with our new copy editor Jennifer and Jessica from Roadrunner Records (who stopped by to play us the new Slipknot) and it became clear to me that if you're in a band and you make an album with a symphony orchestra behind you, I'll probably buy it. I own Scorpions' collaboration with the Berlin Philharmonic. Pretty much just me and the mother of the second chair cellist in the Berlin Philharmonic can say that.



• The only time I clean my apartment is when I'm supposed to be writing. Case in point: I was supposed to spend this past weekend working on the second draft of an upcoming cover story. However, all of a sudden, I couldn't go another second without taking apart all of the drainage under my kitchen sink (even though I technically have no idea how to do that) and dusting the top of the ceiling fan in my living room. My place has never been cleaner. If you want your apartment spotless, just have me come over and tell me to write 150 words on the new Alkaline Trio.



• It's entirely possible (yet largely frowned upon) to eat an entire Dairy Queen ice cream cake in two sittings. It takes a delicate combination of hunger and self-loathing.



• You should probably avoid exaggerating quotes from your girlfriend in a blog about driving across the country. As my Uncle Larry always told me: "You know how your aunt and I stay together? Me neither, but I've been drunk since 10 this morning." Here's the thing that'll really mess with your head now: Do you think my Uncle Larry actually said that or am I exaggerating? And if you really wanna blow your mind: Do I even have an Uncle Larry? It's like the end of The Usual Suspects up in here.



• I really, really, really like the Life And Times. And so should you. I kind of knew that before, but I just heard the new album and it makes me hate myself a fraction less because I ate that Dairy Queen cake.



• It's really difficult to end blogs. My preferred method so far is self-referentiality.