APFFL Week 2: Beyond Thunderdome
Wow.
So, first off: A gazillion thanks to everyone who submitted their iTunes 8.0 playlists. Feel free to keep them coming.
As I demonstrated the new version to Scott Heisel, I said, "Everything that people have written about in science books is going to change." Actually, I'm pretty sure that's a line from Signs. But I don't care. I don't need to have any more original thoughts. iTunes will handle it.
I wonder if I still have to brush my teeth?
Anyway. For the road, here's my playlist for Jawbox's "Savory," as mentioned earlier:
1. Quicksand "Fazer"
2. The Life And Times "Running Red Lights"
3. HUM "If You Are To Bloom"
4. Soundgarden "Room A Thousand Years Wide"
5. The Get Up Kids "Don't Hate Me"
6. Built To Spill "Randy Described Eternity"
7. No Knife "The Red Ballroom"
8. Braid "A Dozen Roses"
9. Pretty Girls Make Graves "All Medicated Geniuses"
10. Helmet "Sinatra"
Gah! I can't believe how awesome that playlist is. It's like Apple crawled inside my temporal lobe and grabbed everything that makes me happy to be alive.
And now for something that does the exact opposite of that, here are the results from Week 2 of the AP Fantasy Football League.
Venice Marmots (100) def. I Hate California (67)
I liked Eli Manning a lot more when he was horrible and always moping after incomplete passes. Actually, he still mopes, but I guess that Super Bowl MVP (which actually didn't occur in an alternate universe as I'd originally thought) has his confidence up high enough to hand Laura 22 points and the win. But do you really win with Eli as your quarterback?
Awesometown Unicorns (77) def. San Diego Whale Vaginas (75)
While Scott was out of town, he wasn't able to change his lineup, but who are we kidding? It's usually better when Scott can do the least amount of damage to his team. Cam managed to eek out a two-point win over him even without subbing out her injured stud receiver. I'm not sure if Cam has moved to the U.K. yet, where she'll have that advantage of seeing into the future (it's a long story: See last week's blog), but with Scott hanging in there with Browns flailing quarterback Derek Anderson, she didn't even really need the ability to see through space and time to win.
Exit Onefiftytwo (98) def. Dandy Van Slykes (-2)
Okay, so I didn't actually come away with negative points. But I did lose by 34 points. Which ain't anything I'll be writing home about. The main kick in the ear was that my opponent Ben snagged 22 points from the Packers defense. (By comparison, my Vikings D earned me 6.) That means his D scored more than any of my offensive players. I'm not a fantasy football doctor, but I know that's an ominous symptom of Acute Shaunalexanderism (in layman's terms: my team sucks).
Rambuctious Coons (88) def. Team Marcella (39)
Right. So I'm pretty sure the owner of Team Marcella has still yet to log in. She played both the injured Tom Brady (who actually spent Sunday trying to secure the rights so this picture never gets out) and Willis McGahee, whose game was postponed. So Ronnie really didn't need the huge week out of Anquan Boldin. He coulda won with this guy at quarterback. So, unless the owner of Marcella is actually out there, this team spot is up for grabs. Anyone wanna make a case why they should take it over?
Milwaukee Milkmen (96) def. 85 Mafia (57)
Jennifer's had some hard luck. First, she drafted Torry Holt in the first round. Then, she drafted Chad Johnson in the second. Now her quarterback Vince Young just lost his job because he talked about suicide to his therapist. Here's the thing: Aren't you supposed to be able to tell your therapist anything without seeing it on the score ticker on ESPN. It was like:
QB Performances--Aaron Rodgers (328 yards, 3 TDs), Drew Brees (223 yards, 1 TD), Vince Young (suicidal).
Next thing you know, Young's gonna shave his head, take some swings at the paparazzi and then come back nine months later to sweep the VMAs.
Chicago Quails (102) def. Cleveland Hasselhoffs (96)
Well, this made it official that everyone who works at AP lost this week. (Which was especially hard on me because the team of Mike Shea and I also lost in the semi-finals of our Summer picnic cornhole team. This isn't us.) The big day from Darren McFadden didn't help Zak out since Chris was playing Brandon Marshall and his otherworldly numbers. Now that I'm looking at the final standings, I can't help but notice some similarities between both teams' logos...
Next week's gonna be epic. It'll see me vs. Scott Heisel for the first time this season. Scott's already predicted to win. But Scott doesn't have my secret weapon: I'll likely be drunk.
So, first off: A gazillion thanks to everyone who submitted their iTunes 8.0 playlists. Feel free to keep them coming.
As I demonstrated the new version to Scott Heisel, I said, "Everything that people have written about in science books is going to change." Actually, I'm pretty sure that's a line from Signs. But I don't care. I don't need to have any more original thoughts. iTunes will handle it.
I wonder if I still have to brush my teeth?
Anyway. For the road, here's my playlist for Jawbox's "Savory," as mentioned earlier:
1. Quicksand "Fazer"
2. The Life And Times "Running Red Lights"
3. HUM "If You Are To Bloom"
4. Soundgarden "Room A Thousand Years Wide"
5. The Get Up Kids "Don't Hate Me"
6. Built To Spill "Randy Described Eternity"
7. No Knife "The Red Ballroom"
8. Braid "A Dozen Roses"
9. Pretty Girls Make Graves "All Medicated Geniuses"
10. Helmet "Sinatra"
Gah! I can't believe how awesome that playlist is. It's like Apple crawled inside my temporal lobe and grabbed everything that makes me happy to be alive.
And now for something that does the exact opposite of that, here are the results from Week 2 of the AP Fantasy Football League.
Venice Marmots (100) def. I Hate California (67)
I liked Eli Manning a lot more when he was horrible and always moping after incomplete passes. Actually, he still mopes, but I guess that Super Bowl MVP (which actually didn't occur in an alternate universe as I'd originally thought) has his confidence up high enough to hand Laura 22 points and the win. But do you really win with Eli as your quarterback?
Awesometown Unicorns (77) def. San Diego Whale Vaginas (75)
While Scott was out of town, he wasn't able to change his lineup, but who are we kidding? It's usually better when Scott can do the least amount of damage to his team. Cam managed to eek out a two-point win over him even without subbing out her injured stud receiver. I'm not sure if Cam has moved to the U.K. yet, where she'll have that advantage of seeing into the future (it's a long story: See last week's blog), but with Scott hanging in there with Browns flailing quarterback Derek Anderson, she didn't even really need the ability to see through space and time to win.
Exit Onefiftytwo (98) def. Dandy Van Slykes (-2)
Okay, so I didn't actually come away with negative points. But I did lose by 34 points. Which ain't anything I'll be writing home about. The main kick in the ear was that my opponent Ben snagged 22 points from the Packers defense. (By comparison, my Vikings D earned me 6.) That means his D scored more than any of my offensive players. I'm not a fantasy football doctor, but I know that's an ominous symptom of Acute Shaunalexanderism (in layman's terms: my team sucks).
Rambuctious Coons (88) def. Team Marcella (39)
Right. So I'm pretty sure the owner of Team Marcella has still yet to log in. She played both the injured Tom Brady (who actually spent Sunday trying to secure the rights so this picture never gets out) and Willis McGahee, whose game was postponed. So Ronnie really didn't need the huge week out of Anquan Boldin. He coulda won with this guy at quarterback. So, unless the owner of Marcella is actually out there, this team spot is up for grabs. Anyone wanna make a case why they should take it over?
Milwaukee Milkmen (96) def. 85 Mafia (57)
Jennifer's had some hard luck. First, she drafted Torry Holt in the first round. Then, she drafted Chad Johnson in the second. Now her quarterback Vince Young just lost his job because he talked about suicide to his therapist. Here's the thing: Aren't you supposed to be able to tell your therapist anything without seeing it on the score ticker on ESPN. It was like:
QB Performances--Aaron Rodgers (328 yards, 3 TDs), Drew Brees (223 yards, 1 TD), Vince Young (suicidal).
Next thing you know, Young's gonna shave his head, take some swings at the paparazzi and then come back nine months later to sweep the VMAs.
Chicago Quails (102) def. Cleveland Hasselhoffs (96)
Well, this made it official that everyone who works at AP lost this week. (Which was especially hard on me because the team of Mike Shea and I also lost in the semi-finals of our Summer picnic cornhole team. This isn't us.) The big day from Darren McFadden didn't help Zak out since Chris was playing Brandon Marshall and his otherworldly numbers. Now that I'm looking at the final standings, I can't help but notice some similarities between both teams' logos...
Next week's gonna be epic. It'll see me vs. Scott Heisel for the first time this season. Scott's already predicted to win. But Scott doesn't have my secret weapon: I'll likely be drunk.
posted by Tim Karan at
10:45 PM
4 Comments:
even when i win its diminished by the fact that i beat the person who hasnt signed in
damn
-ronny
i currently have 6 fantasy teams(5 soccer amd 1 football) and i'm managing to put up numbers somehow someway since i have to track down a lot of leagues. haha
it would be a honor to join this league.
Ya know, you really need to stop hatin' on my Eli, man. Besides, Santana Moss gave me 24 pts, and Adrian Peterson gave me 18. SOLID.
Stupid Dwayne Jarrett got dropped like he's hot though.
(p.s. he's not.)
T.O. just had to rub it in your face, eh.
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