APFFL: Smells like playoffs
Something hasn't felt right.
Something in your life has been slightly askew, as if everything around you was a little less vivid than it should be.
But you couldn't quite put your finger on the cause.
You just assumed you had mono.
But no.
It was the lack of any AP Fantasy Football League updates.
While rumors have been swirling that their notable absence stemmed from my own lethargy, the disapproval of AP higher-ups or some combination of both.
But no.
The truth: Communists stole my computer.
But here we are, a week into the playoffs. What's gone down? Here were the end-of-season standings (playoff teams have asterisks by their records):
DIVISION 1
1. Dandy Van Slykes (me, because I'm awesome) 10-3*
2. Team Exitonefiftytwo (Ben Savoie) 9-4*
3. San Diego Whale Vaginas (AP music editor Scott Heisel) 7-6
4. Awesometown Unicorns (Cameron Hubbard) 5-8
5. Venice Marmots (Laura Zavala) 4-9
6. I hate California (Katie Moran) 4-9
DIVISION 2
1. Milwaukee Milkmen (Zach Silva) 11-2*
2. Chicago Quails (Chris Cooper) 9-4*
3. Team Marcella (Heather Marcella) 7-6
4. Rambunctious Coons (Ronny Weyant) 6-7
5. Cleveland Hasselhoffs (AP ad exec Zak Bristo) 4-9
6. 85 Mafia (AP copy editor Jennifer Grathwol) 2-11
Only four teams are still in the hunt for the title: Team Exitonefiftytwo, Milwaukee Milkmen,
Chicago Quails and Dandy Van Slykes.
Everyone else is free to hunt whatever they like.
Scott Heisel has taken to hunting adorable, helpless, unnamed woodland creatures.
One interesting aspect that I wasn't aware of until just today was that we're in a two-week playoff system--which means that you play the same team two weeks in a row and you go by combined scores from both weekends.
That's weird and unnatural.
But it happens.
As of this very moment, Exitonefiftytwo is housing the number one seeded Milkmen. And I'm in a dead heat with the Quails.
Still, I'm proud of everyone for pretty much playing the whole way through the season. Something like 62 percent of all fantasy football teams wind up abandoned, unmanaged and lost. A few of the misguided ones end up wandering into fantasy hockey leagues, where they quickly realize that A) They should've worn warmer uniforms, and B) Nobody plays freaking fantasy hockey.
Anyway, it's a big week. There's a huge prize on the line (which may or may not involve me just showing up on somebody's doorstep with a copy of the new Thrice DVD and a tray of Double Stuf Oreos).
Make sure you check back after this weekend's games to see how this all works itself out.
Clearly, there's a lot on the line.
Something in your life has been slightly askew, as if everything around you was a little less vivid than it should be.
But you couldn't quite put your finger on the cause.
You just assumed you had mono.
But no.
It was the lack of any AP Fantasy Football League updates.
While rumors have been swirling that their notable absence stemmed from my own lethargy, the disapproval of AP higher-ups or some combination of both.
But no.
The truth: Communists stole my computer.
But here we are, a week into the playoffs. What's gone down? Here were the end-of-season standings (playoff teams have asterisks by their records):
DIVISION 1
1. Dandy Van Slykes (me, because I'm awesome) 10-3*
2. Team Exitonefiftytwo (Ben Savoie) 9-4*
3. San Diego Whale Vaginas (AP music editor Scott Heisel) 7-6
4. Awesometown Unicorns (Cameron Hubbard) 5-8
5. Venice Marmots (Laura Zavala) 4-9
6. I hate California (Katie Moran) 4-9
DIVISION 2
1. Milwaukee Milkmen (Zach Silva) 11-2*
2. Chicago Quails (Chris Cooper) 9-4*
3. Team Marcella (Heather Marcella) 7-6
4. Rambunctious Coons (Ronny Weyant) 6-7
5. Cleveland Hasselhoffs (AP ad exec Zak Bristo) 4-9
6. 85 Mafia (AP copy editor Jennifer Grathwol) 2-11
Only four teams are still in the hunt for the title: Team Exitonefiftytwo, Milwaukee Milkmen,
Chicago Quails and Dandy Van Slykes.
Everyone else is free to hunt whatever they like.
Scott Heisel has taken to hunting adorable, helpless, unnamed woodland creatures.
One interesting aspect that I wasn't aware of until just today was that we're in a two-week playoff system--which means that you play the same team two weeks in a row and you go by combined scores from both weekends.
That's weird and unnatural.
But it happens.
As of this very moment, Exitonefiftytwo is housing the number one seeded Milkmen. And I'm in a dead heat with the Quails.
Still, I'm proud of everyone for pretty much playing the whole way through the season. Something like 62 percent of all fantasy football teams wind up abandoned, unmanaged and lost. A few of the misguided ones end up wandering into fantasy hockey leagues, where they quickly realize that A) They should've worn warmer uniforms, and B) Nobody plays freaking fantasy hockey.
Anyway, it's a big week. There's a huge prize on the line (which may or may not involve me just showing up on somebody's doorstep with a copy of the new Thrice DVD and a tray of Double Stuf Oreos).
Make sure you check back after this weekend's games to see how this all works itself out.
Clearly, there's a lot on the line.
4 Comments:
Great use of Dead Heat. You can be Treat and I'll be Joe. But, only until after this weekend because there can be only one.
Also, I play Fantasy Hockey. I'm lame.
BRB: hunting vampires.
Also, I'd like to take a second to point out that I have, in fact, seen On the Line. No joke.
Ok, so as i was reading the beginning to the blog, i thought to myself, "hmm, that's exactly how i feel." later that day, i went into the doctor. a few needles and blood tests later and lo and behold, i have mono. i know what you are thinking: Mere coincidence? or does Tim have double secret magic powers to place jinxes on his blogs?
We may never know, but don't all the other twilight characters have magic powers?
Soooooo, looks like the final is set,
Dandy Van Slykes vs. Exitonefiftytwo.
Karan vs. Savoie.
USA vs Canada.
A battle for the ages.
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