Someone please tell me…am I supposed to be okay that after having my niece ripped out of my life then have her suddenly reappear because her mother needs something from my dad? Am I supposed to give up all my weekend plans (and yes, I had them before I knew of this surprise visit) to spend time with a girl who I really fucking hate? Am I supposed to listen to Zoe running around upstairs and laughing and just be glad that I even get to see her? Am I supposed to just play along with this fucking stupid little game so I can stay on my dad’s good side?
I’ve spent all my time home, locked up in my bedroom because I don’t want to see them. I’ll fucking deck Kelsey and just cry when I see Zoe because this little visit is not remotely how of any care or concern for my family; this is because the young woman who says she doesn’t need anyone’s help raising her daughter is here to mooch shit off my father. And she does this knowing that he will bend to her will because if he doesn’t, he won’t get to see his grandchild. She is using her child to get things, and that fucking infuriates and disgusts me. Sure, it’s diapers and food for the baby. But she has made it a point to let the world know that she can care for her child on her own. So why doesn’t she? She’s done enough to treat my family like utter shit and she’s totally okay with keeping it up.
This if a fucked up little game that I will not be dragged into. What’s sad is I know by not playing along with a fake fucking smile, I’m actually risking my relationship with my father as well as my living situation. I can’t do it. Fine. I’ll find somewhere else to live, but I can’t psychologically afford to deal with this emotional whiplash. I’ve shut myself up because I keep shaking and bursting into tears. I really don’t know to deal with this other than to just walk away. Facing it head-on would mean making an already very fragile situation worse. The best I can do for anyone right now is to not be here. I just can’t do this.
