February 10, 2012

Yep. Can’t wait for this one either.

So I’m completely in love with another army medic named Ryan. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

I got it so bad for my friend. It’s kind of a no brainer. He’s a fucking HANDSOME Irish boy and kind of epitomizes my type. He’s got great taste in music and he’s just simply one of the most awesome people I’ve ever met.

He and I have fooled around a few times. Strictly first/second base stuff. I’m still trying to figure out his intentions and what is going on in his head. I don’t think all he wants to do is hook up. But I will be paranoid about whether or not he likes me until things are solidified and official.

I may or may not have drunkenly confessed my love for him to a couple of our friends at Insub Fest. They were both stoked to hear about it though. It’s nice knowing at least there are people who want to see us together.

As Max Bemis once wrote…

Girlfriend now, I have a girlfriend now…

She surprised me yesterday. She drove 2 hours to come and hang out with me for an hour and a half without me knowing. She got directions from my friend. This girl is so freaking cool. I’m such a happy go lucky dude now

my boyfriend is visiting me! yay!

we’re trying to figure out the pit as a team. winners.

previous thread crammer here—talked about crushes left right and centre

today: 8 months exactly with the girl i love

Okay so, congrats to Emily (he’s super cute, too!!) on her medic man. Nicole, I’m glad you’ve found admiration in a friend and I hope that things work out for you. To everyone who has a significant other, congratulations. But especially to the Mosh Pit engaged couple and Mike, who always seemed like a perpetual bachelor. I mean that in the kindest way possible, because as a hopeless romantic I sincerely enjoy seeing you so happy with your gal. Frickin’ Canadians, man.

As for me, I’m trying to decide what the fuck I want out of love and relationships. I’m kind of sitting it out and not actively pursuing anybody, but it’s hard to do. Sometimes I think it’s more effort to be single than to be committed. Ugh.

I deem it necessary to go into a lot of detail about Ryan. Because…why not?

How I know him? Through my friend, Troy. They work together. One day, I thought he was Troy on the old webcam, so I told him to get a haircut. Lo and behold…he’s not Troy. And pretty much from there on out, he and I have been conversing and he just is a wonderful guy.

I’ve grown more and more insecure and scared to be close to a guy over the past year and it’s just left me incredibly lonely. Ryan came along and I just needed to change that. I bulldozed over all of that because being so nervous to let someone into my life has only been holding me back. So…what the hell? Why keep myself all locked up? I’m only missing out on things by doing that, amirite? So I’ve let him in…and I love it.

In a beautifully ironic twist, he was actually born in Utah. He’s an air force brat; his dad was stationed out here but they moved to Florida when he was just a baby and that’s been home to him ever since. He joined the army about six months after I did and, like many soldiers, did his 15 months in Iraq. He was a medic for an infantry line unit; needless to say, he’s seen more shit than anyone would care to. He’s been doing pretty good since being in Germany, and he’s admitted to me that since he and I have started talking, he sleeps much better at night. I don’t know for sure if he’s ever gotten counseling for PTSD, but I hope he doesn’t feel he is too above that.

He’s funny. He’s a smart-ass. We both like a lot of the same things, which makes our nights very interesting. He makes me laugh and smile and I love that he does. He also makes me feel pretty.

I had been toying with the idea of spending some time in Germany before knowing Ryan just to go hang out with other friends, but now I’m much more inclined to because of Ryan. I’ve already put in for my passport and I’m just waiting to get paid before I truly committ to a plan ticket. Even four months out, that shit is still expensive…$1000 round trip. Yikes. But it’ll be ten wonderful days in Germany with Ryan, a few friends, and my brother Chad! I can’t wait.

Wednesday him and I will have been together for 9 months, and I couldn’t be happier. 

He’s a fucking HANDSOME Irish boy

OH GAWD THESE.

I keep falling for them

I’m maybe-sorta-okay-yeah-really-actually-Irish, so it must come with the territory?

I wish Hunter and I didn’t live so far away.

I’ve been talking to this very nice pretty girl. She likes to read comics and smoke weed. Can I get an amen?

The only significant relationships I have are with titties and beer.

More photos of Insub Fest have been surfacing from my friends. And I have to see him in the photos being absolutely adorable. So adorable, It hurts sometimes. Melts me into a puddle of mushy goop.  I really really really just want to tell him how I feel. I’m just terrified of getting rejected. He’s perfect for me in every way….kind of the guy I always dreamed about since I was young. I want to cuddle him as he is like a tall, beautiful Irish blanket.

I am pretty sure one of his best gal pals, who has quickly become one of my best gal pals kind of has a good idea that I’m into him. Today during girl hangs/girl talk she was finally getting with the guy she had a crush on forever. And I alluded to having a thing for someone (I didn’t say who at all) and then she just said “OMG YEAH. There must be something in the water at Roman (This is a catholic school that both her guy and my guy went to) because dem boys are absolutely perfect AMIRITE??????” I feel like she may be my key to winning his heart.

Bleh. I’m pining really hard tonight.I think it’s because I just want cuddles really really really bad.

Reasons (so far) why I plan to marry Ryan…

Reason to marry Ryan

1) Ridiculously cute.

2) Ungodly sweet.

3) Good with massages.

4) Social Distortion.

5) He can turn me on from Germany. Meow.

6) GIR!*

7) Ich Libre Bich. (‘I love you” in German)

8) Born in Utah.

9) Army medic.

10) Makes me smile like a fool no matter what mood I’m in.

11) Makes me feel pretty.

12) Loves me for some weird reason.

13) Sammiches.

14) Health insurance.

15) The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

*Gir-shaped wedding cake

^ thats so cheesy i’m jealous. i’m glad you found that special someone that makes you so happy you deserve it.

^ Why jealous? I thought you were married. Or maybe I’m just crazy.

Today means 6 months with Allie. I couldnt ask for anyone better.