So…what the fuck happened?
Ryan was soooo goddamn paranoid that I would just up and leave him because he’s in Germany, he sort of freaked the fuck out and twisted some idea in his head that I didn’t think he was good enough for me. Totally doesn’t help, either, that he’s been talking to his dumbass woman-hater friend who, oddly enough, is also jealous that Ryan wasn’t a single lonely bastard anymore, so he was egging him on, too. This subsequently led to me freaking out, deleting each other from Facebook, and we just spent the past two hours arguing what in God’s name was really wrong. I’m sorry, but when a guy drops the “all you women are the same” line on me, I don’t take to that very kindly. Verbatim, I told him…
“I totally understand any..animosity you may have. What happened with you and your ex was absolute bullshit. No soldier doing his damn job should ever have to come home to nothing like you did. I’m a military woman who has done your job. If we stayed together, I promise you, you wouldn’t have anything to worry about, because I understand it. I would be here at your side the entire time because that’s who I am and how much I care about you. So when you say that all women are the same, you best remind yourself that I am not your fucking ex-wife.”
Yeah. That shut him right the hell up.
He felt that we were beyond the point of trying to fix things. Three times in those two hours, I picked up the phone to call Delta to cancel my tickets, and three times I put the phone down. Ryan told me not to cancel them. We’re gonna see what we can do to fix things. Go back into friend zone for a little while and hopefully get back to where we were. I really do not plan to rush anything. I will try to remain optimistic and hope for the best, but I will definitely prep myself for the worse. All I know is I’m shocked as hell he didn’t just…walk out.
He and I have a lot to work on. I hope it goes smoothly.
