Everyone has ruined music– that one good song or album that’s been tarnished by a shitty time or person. For Buddy Nielsen of Senses Fail, time and perspective have forced him to question the inherent allure of screaming along to some of his early lyrics about murder.

Death, donuts and desert meditation have ruined some of Buddy’s other favorite songs and artists. In this APTV exclusive, you’ll learn all about the music that has failed the frontman of Senses Fail.

More on Senses Fail

Senses Fail released their latest, If There Is Light, It Will Find You, in February. The record marks the first time singer Buddy Nielsen has fully written the entirety of the album alone. His life-altering shifts over the past two years has contributed directly to the making of this record.

The band introduced fans to the new era in November 2017 with the release of “Double Cross.” They followed it up with “Gold Jacket, Green Jacket…” in January 2018.’

Read more: Senses Fail: “Bands weren’t talking about death or losing someone; they were talking about girls”

“We as a generation have endured and sacrificed much more than our elders give us credit for. War, climate change, mass shootings, economic uncertainty and crippling debt are just some of the struggles that we have been handed by the generation before us, all while be told we aren’t doing enough to succeed,” Nielsen says. of the track

“Despite all this we are strive to do whats right, follow our hearts and try to leave this world a better place.”

Their final pre-album single, “New Jersey Makes, The World Takes,” dropped in February. The lyrical tone of If There Is Light finds Nielsen’s psychic yin-yang reflected in both light (the birth of his daughter Penelope) and the very dark (the near-death of his wife, the Pulse nightclub shootings). Likewise, “New Jersey Makes…” recalls his experiences with addiction and substance abuse.

Read more: Buddy Nielsen: “When [Senses Fail] was at its height, we were broke”

“Over the years, I have lost a number of friends to drug addiction,” Nielsen says. “This song addresses those losses and how I have tried to intervene in people’s addictions over the years. As someone who has battled addiction, I know that the change has to come from within. While support and resources are very important, it is ultimately a decision that is on the person who is battling. So many of us in this country have a friend or loved one who has lost their battle, and I thought it was important to highlight that struggle.”

You can read more on the album and track here.