the walking dead zombies zombie apocalpyse
[Photo via AMC]

The best and worst weapons to wield in the zombie apocalypse

If you’ve ever thought about the zombie apocalypse at some point in your life, you’ve probably also considered which tools you would want to bring with you. We all know it would be smart to grab batteries, medical supplies, lighters, flashlights and any other items to keep handy, but which thing are you reaching for when you need to kill a zombie trying to make you join the ranks of the undead?

With The Walking Dead basically predicting our current toilet paper-hoarding situation, read below for the best and worst things you could use in the zombie apocalypse, you know, just in case. 

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Best

Crowbar

This is easily one of the best things to have in a zombie apocalypse. Crowbars are light to swing and fit in belt loops easily if you need both hands free for a moment. If you come to a door or some sort of barrier that you need propped open, you can use a crowbar for its literal purpose and get back to using it as a weapon afterward. 

Skateboard

Skaters are definitely at an advantage in the zombie apocalypse. Skateboards would break pretty quickly when being swung at zombies. However, they’d be effective for pushing a crowd back without risking your own neck. You’ll also never run out of gas like you would with a car and can easily carry your transportation around, unlike with a bicycle. 

Screwdriver

Just like a crowbar, a screwdriver is a multiuse tool for the zombie apocalypse. You may not want it as your main weapon given you have to be close to use it. In a pinch, it’s effective, and it will come in handy for many reasons outside of taking care of zombies. 

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Machete

Machetes are a classic and effective weapon for a zombie apocalypse. They’re light, sharp and typically have a holster you can attach to a belt when you’re not using it. Any bladed weapon could help pick through a wooded area, but a machete is designed to chop through trees. This would also be useful if you’re making your way through a forest. 

Hammer

We don’t mean a sledgehammer or any other massive version but rather a hand hammer you’d use to hang something. Both ends provide different uses for killing zombies, whether you need to bludgeon or slice straight into their heads. Plus, you’ll have another tool handy that you could use for plenty of other things. 

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Worst

Flamethrower

Let’s be real: A flamethrower is ridiculously stupid to use in almost any situation. Elon Musk made it a reality to own one for many people. But in a zombie-fighting situation, it would be one of the dumbest things to use. First, fuel would be an issue, and it’d be a pain to keep it loaded enough to be usable often. On top of that, you’re setting zombies aflame as they march toward you, meaning you’re forcing more danger on yourself. 

Chainsaw

Similarly to a flamethrower, a chainsaw is just inviting more trouble than it’s worth. Not only is it an extremely loud weapon that would attract more zombies, but it’s easy to mess yourself up with one. Sure, it seems like a good way to mow through a crowd, but one wrong step and the blade is being pushed onto you instead. 

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Gun

Everyone likes to think a gun is the best thing to have in a survival situation, but it would actually be pretty ineffective in a zombie apocalypse. Lugging around a heavy gun and enough ammo to make it worthwhile is going to slow you down, and the amount of people who could successfully use one is a lot slimmer than most people think. Aiming, knowing how to clean and care for it, the actual mechanics of using the gun and more would all make it a useless tool for a vast majority of people. 

Axe

An axe would technically be an all right weapon because it can also be used to chop through things you need to get past, but other than that, it’s too bulky to be any good. Swinging one in a crowd would be exhausting, and carrying it around would be, too, so if you need to get through doors, a crowbar is a better option. 

Guitar

This would easily be the coolest-looking weapon to use in a zombie apocalypse, but it would also be one of the worst. It’s likely going to break after one use and will do nothing if it’s an acoustic. If it’s an electric, the only way we can excuse using this as a weapon is if you had a battery-powered amp with you and shred€ded a solo before getting one kill in and throwing it all away.