Every Time I Die frontman Keith Buckley answers your burning cinematic questions. Sort of. 

What is the best film scene featuring an impressively bearded man performing intercourse? –Ian Rowan, Fort Lauderdale, FL

Great question, Rowan, and one I’ve pondered myself on numerous occasions. After much research, only one scene emerges victorious. That being the timelessly endearing “reverse cowgirl” scene in Ron Howard’s 1987 classic It Takes Juan One To Know Juan in which Surgeon General C. Everett Coop played both Juan Manuel and his jilted lover Juan Williams, making the scene that much more provocative and unforgettable.

Who would you expect to win a gladiator fight between Rocky Balboa and John Rambo? –Martin Parlane, Glasgow, Scotland 

Oddly enough, this battle rages on inside Sylvester Stallone’s head almost every waking minute, but my vote would very obviously be Rambo. He has killed, with his shirt on, 129 people over the course of four films. Rocky Balboa has temporarily impaired less than one quarter of that with his shirt off.

What’s your take on the Borat/Brüno craze that’s once again sweeping the nation? —Alex Sauceda, San Antonio, TX

Jesus, Debbie Downer here with the serious question. I firmly believe that Sacha Baron Cohen is our generation’s Andy Kaufman. Not in his level of brilliance, mind you, but in his audacity to take our notions of celebrity and turn it on its ass, while making us look like the idiots for believing it in the first place.