Judi Dench can suck it

I don't know if you read the news today, but it seems awful likely that you're gonna be spotting the Wentzes (Sir Peter and Dame Ashlee) in an upcoming episode of CSI:NY. And unlike Paramore's recent appearance in CSI: Las Vegas(seriously, enough with the CSI's. There are so many other letters we can string together for TV show titles), the couple will play fictional characters.

 

Sure, Ashlee actually started out on 7th Heaven and Pete has his gig on FNMTV, but it's gonna be pretty interesting to see them dabbling together in thespianism.

 

In honor of their impending People's Choice awards, I decided to come up with a few other musicians who I think would be interesting co-stars on other non-CSI TV shows.

 

 

Anthony Green on Lost

First of all, I know the guy loves himself some Lost. He's written songs about it. So if J.J. Abrams wanted to, he could totally make this happen. Here's an idea, J.J.: Since you've already delved into the flash-forwards into the future, maybe next season you could go forward even further, and Anthony could play the grown-up Aaron–infant son of Claire (and Kate, kind of) who I'm thinking is gonna play a big role down the road. Maybe 20 years in the future, Jack still hasn't been able to get back to the island and his insanity and beard are getting out of control. Nobody believes him–except for Aaron, who seeks him out thanks to a bunch of visions that tell him he needs to get back to the island, too. I'm sayin: Dude's got the scruff. That's more than enough.

 

Hayley Williams on Ugly Betty

Hayley could play Veronica Samuels–a new intern at Mode who is as cutthroat as she is diminutive. On the surface, she's all bubbles and innocent charm to her supervisors, but underneath it all, she's gunning hard for Betty's gig. So much so that her episode would culminate with her standing on top of a desk, wielding an aluminum baseball bat and screaming, "One…two…three…….RIOT!!!!" (I've never seen an episode of Ugly Betty, so if this character already exists, please forgive me.)

 

Max Bemis on 24

I don't care what anyone says, Max Bemis is just the right blend of badass and instability to be rogue mercenary Slater Kent, hot on the trail of Jack Bauer when he's in somewhere like Beliz or something. I think he and Kiefer Sutherland blow one of the 24 hours just staring ruthlessly at each other at a table in some diner, both clutching 9 mm handguns.



Zack Merrick on Desperate Housewives

I've also never watched an episode of Desperate Housewives, but I'm pretty sure Zack has everything the casting director looks for in young male guest stars. I'd say he could be a gardener, but I think they've already had one of those. What if he's Jimmy Calhoun–the new kid on Wisteria Lane, visiting from college. Don't overthink it. He'll be shirtless in 13 seconds, and everyone's happy.



Gabe Saporta on Entourage

This actually happened, didn't it? I coulda sworn it did.

 

 

Bert McCracken on My Name Is Earl

Bert will play Clarence Mickelby–a hyperactive, crazed guy who Earl once accidentally shot in the spleen with a tranquilizer gun, leading to a life plagued with highly comedic narcolepsy (where he falls asleep while riding an ATV and whatnot). I haven't worked out exactly the rest of his character arc, but I know that the episode will end with Earl and Randy laying in bed like always, but as the camera pans down, we see Bert nestled up at their feet.

 

 

So how bout you? Anyone you think would make a good fit on a particular TV show? I tried pretty hard to come up with someone for The Office, but it's tricky. The closest I got was having Maura Davis from Denali added to the staff as a second receptionist. But that's for purely selfish reasons.