Shiny things go bing bing

I also made one reference to Mortal Kombat.

 

So beener48 said…

"and since you brought up the topic, maybe you could do a blog about video games? maybe a list of current favs or an all-time top 5 (or maybe 10)?"

DECEMBER 1, 2008 2:35 AM

 

Behold! The birth of a video game blog.

In fact… Behold! The birth of TWIN video game blogs. This is gonna be a two-parter. I'm gonna list my "current favs" in this edition and then my all-time top five next time.

 

It's weird because I just got out of like a three-year span during which I rarely played video games. It wasn't that I was out living an actual life. I just didn't have the money to upgrade from my Xbox circa 2002. I still don't have the money, but something inspired me to put a sparkling new Xbox 360 on my credit card, and sign up for the recently revamped Xbox Live.

 

So I'm actually far more qualified to answer this question right now than I would've been even four months ago.

 

Thank you, beener48.

 

You've always known me better than I know myself.

 

So here we go. My current top 5. Look at what a loser I am.

 

 

1. DEAD RISING

Basically, this is Dawn Of The Dead in video game form. In fact, the company that owns Dawn Of The Dead tried to sue Capcom over this. But the judge said all the similarities were "driven by the wholly unprotectable concept of humans battling zombies in a mall during a zombie outbreak." Which means basically, your cousin Franklin's screenplay about zombies in a mall (but the zombies wear hats) could get greenlit and I'm free to spend the hours between 1 a.m. and 2:30 a.m. every night breaking into stores to find new and innovative ways to kill the undead.

 

 

2. PURE

I've got a thing for completely unrealistic racing games. I don't know why. I think it stems from my frustration with the fact that I can't drive my car up onto sidewalks and every time I try to drive into power-ups, this happens. So the ridiculous jumps and unrealistic ATV tricks of Pure help keep my soul from eating itself. This is pretty much the only game I engage in actual online play with, and I'm not as horrible as I was a couple weeks ago. Maybe we'll run into each other on the sand dunes of Glamis. (But I'm gonna quit if I end up too far back after the first lap.)

 

 

3. BLITZ: THE LEAGUE II

If the Madden franchise was the Empire, I would totally be a rebel. Maybe even a Jedi. I'm part of the dwindling minority of fans out there who far preferred the 2K football franchise over Madden. Then Madden ran 2K out of town and it's been all we've had for years. Blitz The League II only exists because it's not actually an NFL game–it's based on an alternate professional league where steroids, blackmail and money-grubbing egomaniacs rule. Which is nothing like the NFL.

 

 

4. PINBALL FX

I realize the irony of using a state-of-the-art video gaming machine to play pinball. It's like sleeping in a comfy-ass bed and dreaming about sitting in a constrictive wooden chair. But let's face it: Nobody who's over the age of 12 or sober plays real pinball. I suck at this. Really, really bad. But I really, really like to see shiny things go "Bing! Bing!"

 

 

5. CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE

Clearly, I could never be in a war. But if I were to all of a sudden have to fight in a war, I'd constantly be looking around for Nazis. That's because 93 percent of all war video games revolve around World War II for some reason. Finally,Call Of Duty jumped into the '90s and provided me with a rudimentary knowledge of how to function in a modern make-believe army.

 

So based on these, do you guys have any suggestions on what I should pick up next?

(A green vegetable is not an option.)