EVERY TIME I DIE frontman KEITH BUCKLEY waxes cinematic on the more important films of our time—sort of.

 

BODY ROCK (1984; STARZ, 2007)

STARRING: Lorenzo Lamas, Vicki Frederick, someone named “Skeeter”

THE PLOT: In 1949, the unsuspecting world was given a frightening glimpse of the future in the form of George Orwell’s dystopian novel 1984. In 1984 (the year, not the book), the world was given an equally frightening glimpse of Lorenzo Lamas in the form of Marcelo Epstein’s Body Rock. Lamas stars as Chilly D, a rapper/breakdancer who hangs with a crew known as the Body Rocks. One day, Chilly D is asked to perform at a high-class nightclub without the rest of his gang. Oh, no! What will that token little black kid think? Or his sexually ambiguous AIDS-infected buddy with a moustache that sells balloons? Well, they’re as mad as my crew was when I left them to hang with my new friends in NAMBLA, but that’s beside the point. After selling out, Chilly is on top of the world, until… Whoops! He’s fired for punching his boss after the two make out at a gay fetish bar. But Chilly ain’t gonna let some “public hate crime” stop him from sweating profusely while doing the worm. On the night of his former employers’ rapstravaganza, Chilly D decides to sabotage the main act. Front flipping from the rafters, he lands on stage, calls his old crew up to join him in the mother of all dance sequences, then takes off early to screw his buddy’s sister in the alley. Fifteen minutes of fame has never taken so long. 

 

THE POINT: For centuries, the notion of “selling out” has been a point of contention that has mercilessly cleaved its way between friends, family and hardcore message board enthusiasts. Whether it’s our own overwhelming fear of losing what we love or our brazen selfishness, which causes us to stockpile and conceal, I am in no position to say. What I do know, however, is that as long as we are wearing neon and have a little black kid with us at all times, the world will be willing to take us back into its heart after the money we got for “selling out” has been spent on dope. ALT