12 TV-show-only bands we wish were real
Here at AP, we’re a sucker for any kind of band—even the fictional ones. We might even go as far as to say a television show is greatly improved by the addition of a fake band. (Seriously, how much more epic would Breaking Bad have been if Walt and Jesse had started a thrash-metal band called Blue Smoke?) Here are 12 awesome bands—created solely for their corresponding television shows—that we wish were real.
1. THE BEETS
From: Doug
Doug Funny’s favorite band had two incredibly infectious hits, “I Need More Allowance” and our favorite, “Killer Tofu.” Lines like, “I refuse to touch that strange bean curd” and “I eat my sugar cereal/But it makes my teeth bacterial” are pure pop-rock gold—and better than most of the songs on mainstream radio. Plus, how badass was keyboardist Wendy Nespot with her shaved head?
2. CALIFORNIA DREAMS
From: California Dreams
Even before Saved By The Bell went off the air in 1993, NBC was primed and ready with its heir apparent, California Dreams, which premiered in 1992. The show centered on a group of high school friends and their band California Dreams. The band—and the series—ended in 1996, but they reunited in 2010 on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon for one last performance.
3. CRUCIFICTORIOUS
From: Friday Night Lights
We haven’t done any extensive research into the number of fictional Christian speed-metal bands on television, but we’re fairly certain Crucifictorious is the only one. Turn up the volume and let that guttural (and Godly) roar engulf you.
4. DINGOES ATE MY BABY
From: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Taking their band name from a phrase said by Meryl Streep in 1988’s Evil Angels, Dingoes Ate My Baby—featuring Oz (Seth Green) on guitar and Devon MacLeish (Jason Hall) on vocals—played Sunnydale’s hottest night club, the Bronze. DAMB’s music was actually written by real-life band Four Star Mary, and many of the songs on the show came from their 1998 album Thrown To The Wolves.
5. DOWNTOWN SASQUATCH, ZIT REMEDY AND EVERY OTHER BAND FROM DEGRASSI
From: Degrassi
Throughout its 10 seasons, the Canadian teen drama spawned several bands including Zit Remedy (with their hit “Everybody Wants Something”), Downtown Sasquatch, Hell Hath No Fury and about a dozen more. The cast of Degrassi knew firsthand the importance of having a killer soundtrack while navigating through your teen years. >>>
6. DR. TEETH AND THE ELECTRIC MAYHEM
From: The Muppets
For a band greatly lacking in the opposable thumb category, they sure could rock. The group—Dr. Teeth (vocals/keyboards), Animal (drums), Sgt. Floyd Pepper (bass), Janice (guitar) and Zoot (saxophone)—have been around since The Muppet Show premiered in1975 and are still going strong, most recently in a commercial for the Toyota Highlander.
7. DRIVE SHAFT
From: Lost
The band—started by brothers Charlie and Liam Pace—had a hit with their song “You All Everybody” from their self-titled debut album, but their follow-up, Oil Change, did not perform as well. After a one-year hiatus, Drive Shaft reunited, but by then, few people still cared about the band. After the Oceanic 815 crash and Charlie’s apparent death, the band experienced a new level of success and released a greatest hits compilation. (Shinfo: “You All Everybody” played in the background in an episode of another J.J. Abrams show, Alias.)
8. FROZEN EMBRYOS
From: My So-Called Life
Before he was fronting 30 Seconds To Mars, Jared Leto was playing Jordan Catalano, guitarist/fill-in lead singer for Frozen Embryos. (The band’s actual lead singer,Tino, never appears in the show.) He wasn’t the smartest in the bunch, but he did manage to write a surprisingly heartfelt song about his, um, car.
9. HEP ALIEN
From: Gilmore Girls
What other band can claim both Adam Brody and Sebastian Bach as guitarists? Granted, they were in the band at different times and neither played themselves, but it’s still a pretty great lineup. High points for the band include sort of playing CBGB, a surprisingly successful tour of Seventh Day Adventists churches and Lane and Zack playing their own wedding—while still wearing their wedding gown and tux.
10. JESSE AND THE RIPPERS
From: Full House
Besides playing with the Beach Boys, like, a dozen times, the San Francisco band—led by the hottest uncle to ever sport a mullet—had a No. 1 hit in Japan with their 1992 single, “Forever.” Last July, they reunited for a one-off performance on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon.
11. POLARIS
From: The Adventures Of Pete And Pete
Including three members of real-life band Miracle Legion, Polaris played many of the songs featured on the Nickelodeon show, including the theme song, “Hey Sandy.” Polaris only released one album, Music from The Adventures of Pete & Pete, which you can now buy on iTunes.
12. ZACK ATTACK
From: Saved By The Bell
Saved By The Bell had a ton of great episodes, but “Rockumentary,” which details the rise and fall of Zack Morris’ namesake band—narrated by Casey Kasem, no less—definitely ranks in the top. The episode had all the makings of a Behind The Music special, complete with an epic reunion concert. Fortunately for Zack, Slater, Kelly and the rest of the gang, it was all just a dream—literally.
