19 best Twitter beefs by Waterparks' Awsten Knight
It’s pretty safe to assume that Waterparks frontman Awsten Knight has absolutely no filter for his thoughts, which has lent to some pretty hilarious tweets. Head below to see some of his best work when it comes to calling out all those who have done him wrong.
1. Verified internet DJs
STEP 1. GET VERIFIED AND BE THE ANNOYING SHITHEAD DJ WHO CONSTANTLY FOLLOWS+ UNFOLLOWS PEOPLE TRYING TO UP YOUR NUMBERS
STEP 2. REMIX!!!!!!— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) September 4, 2016
Fuck dude, I get the biggest chubby from blocking shitty verified Internet DJs who follow 800k people and have 50k followers. pic.twitter.com/i6bAbBSjVg
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) January 23, 2017
Clearly Awsten has no time for people trying to boost their followers.
2. A pharmaceutical company
@Merck hey I’m going to kick you in the head until your eyes come out and eat them. Thanks for Nexplanon. Fuck you.
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) December 28, 2016
This threat is as about as colorful as his hair is blue.
3. Arby’s and Bing
.@arbys @bing I know we have our differences and I talk a lot of shit but I just want you to know that deep down I will never forgive you.
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) November 24, 2016
We’d really love to know how this fast food chain and Iinternet search engine crossed him.
4. Girls who dressed as Harley Quinn for Halloween
Let me get this straight..you’re a GIRL…and you’re being HARLEY QUINN for Halloween…..WHAT IN THE WORLD????????
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) October 30, 2016
He was clearly so over the abundance of Puddin’ necklaces and Daddy’s Lil Monster tees.
5. Dove chocolate
Dove chocolate is so fucking stupid, YOU CAN BARELY EVEN TASTE THE BIRD MEAT
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) October 4, 2016
His literal interpretation of a fancy chocolate brand made for an interesting visual.
6. Dr. Pepper commercials
I JUST SAW A DR PEPPER COMMERCIAL THAT SAID “COOL STORY BRO” HAHAHHHAHAHA HOW THE FUCK IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO BE LIKE 8 YEARS LATE TO A MEME
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) October 1, 2016
I’M IMAGINING LIKE 12 OLD PEOPLE SITTING AROUND A LAPTOP TRYING TO DISECT WHAT YOUNG PEOPLE LIKE AND ONE SUGGESTS MEMES (PRONOUNCED MI-MI’S)
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) October 1, 2016
Being late to a meme is obviously one of the biggest sins of the Iinternet.
7. Orange juice that isn’t from HEB or Whole Foods
UGLY pic.twitter.com/cAeCgdppjy
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) September 5, 2016
Y’all ask me about orange juice a lot. Most tastes like battery acid. These are the only good ones. @HEB @WholeFoods pic.twitter.com/A6UDq3Oke8
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) July 3, 2016
He’s certainly not shy about his love of particular brands of orange juice.
8. “Adult” advice
ADULTS ALWAYS SAID DON’T MEET STRANGERS FROM THE INTERNET, SUCK IT, I DO LIKE 200 TIMES A DAY. pic.twitter.com/wJ6XNpdI5V
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) July 6, 2016
We’re just thankful this didn’t end up looking like an episode of Catfish: The TV Show.
9. Vine fame
I’d rather die than be Vine famous.
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) June 26, 2016
Thankfully he no longer has to worry about this one (R.I.P.).
10. John O’Callaghan of the Maine
Just told the singer of The Maine I used to hate him because my first girlfriend in like 10th grade was obsessed with him.
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) June 25, 2016
Never forget. No hard feelings, John O.
11. Angry Birds merch
You might think you’re having a shitty day but someone SOMEWHERE is wearing an Angry Birds shirt. Stay blessed.
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) May 25, 2016
He definitely knows how to look on the bright side of life.
12. Yao Ming
When I was 9 or 10 @YaoMing wouldn’t highfive me at a basketball game and I’ve been butthurt about it ever since. Dick.
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) May 6, 2016
Clearly this scarred him as a child.
13. People who eat pizza with a fork
If you eat pizza with a fork I fully believe you’re a serial killer and you won’t convince me otherwise.
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) March 13, 2016
Forget harming animals, this is the true tell of whether or not you’re headed down a dark path.
14. Grains
FUCK GRAINS. pic.twitter.com/3B61RAyr29
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) February 28, 2016
Apparently no explanation is needed for this one.
15. DJ Khaled, M. Night Shyamalan and Bing
GONNA START BEEF WITH:
-DJ Khaled
-M Night Shamalan
-BingEveryone help.
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) February 26, 2016
He really doesn’t like Bing.
16. Ice cream
Hi @bluebell @benandjerrys @dryers listen up chumps, PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY ICE CREAM. YOU IDIOTS. GET. TO. WORK.
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) February 2, 2016
Or rather, the lack of a PB&J flavor.
17. High school classmates
I did the school talent show in 10th grade & came in 2nd to some guys singing Crank Dat Soulja Boy FUCK YALL IM ON A SICK NATIONAL TOUR NOW.
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) January 26, 2016
A brutal way to get across the “Who’s laughing now?” sentiment.
18. Mountains
MOUNTAINS ARE BEING ASSHOLES AND BLOCKING MY SIGNAL, CHOP EM ALL DOWN, I WANNA TWEET.
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) January 23, 2016
Nature: blocking him from the important things in life.
19. Cool guy handshakes
I really hate cool guy handshakes, LIKE ARE WE SIDEWAYS HIGHFIVING, PUNCHES OUR HANDS TOGETHER, KISSING, WHAT IS THIS??????
— Not Awsten Knight (@awsten) December 17, 2015
Because there’s nothing worse than not being sure what you should do with your hands.
