Music is great for building hype ("Eye Of The Tiger," anyone?), but political candidates need to choose their anthems wisely. In the spirit of this year’s campaign season, here are the songs that might make you a winner in our hearts, but a loser at the polls.
Bruce Springsteen "Born In The U.S.A." from Born In The U.S.A. (1984)
Taken at face value, this might not seem like a bad choice (we’re talking to you, Reagan campaign staff a la ’84). But then you realize this is actually a protest song about the affects of the Vietnam War and it loses some of that patriotic punch.
Beck "Loser" from Mellow Gold (1993)
Humility may be a virtue, but don’t over do it. Keep this one on your playlist so you have something ready just in case a Florida recount robs you of the presidency.
T-Pain "I’m N Luv (Wit A Stripper)" from Rappa Ternt Sanga(2005)
This song is too good to waste on your campaign. Save it for when you have to resign your post as governor, and need intro music for the press conference.
Weezer "Hash Pipe" from The Green Album (2001)
You want to be cool. You want the kids to dig. But you can’t force it. Follow Bill Clinton’s lead and just say you didn’t inhale.
Hit The Lights "Bodybag" from This Is A Stick Up…Don’t Make It A Murder (2006)
Death threats are typically a big no-no. Unless of course you’re already in office, in which case most people seem to be okay with it.
The Dead Milkmen "Takin’ Retards To The Zoo" from Big Lizard In My Backyard (1984)
Okay, so let’s find a less offensive way to describe all of your wonderful volunteer activities because this one is just insensitive. Unless you’re trying to tell people about the awesome day you had at the zoo with Jay Reatard (eating cotton candy and taking pictures with a sweet koala). In that case, it’s totally cool.
Ben Folds "Rockin’ The Suburbs" from Rockin’ The Suburbs (2001)
Sure, John McCain, you want to win over those middle-class, blue-collar Democrats still devastated by Hillary Clinton’s loss, but this is not the song to do it. It’s a great song, but not your song. Ask Heidi Montag to record something for you.
Ramones "Blitzkrieg Bop" from Ramones (1976)
It’s not just a great song; it’s a gilded classic. However, unless you’re running for the position of der führer, it probably won’t send the right message.