12 anti-Valentine’s Day products to buy if you’re dead inside
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, but for people like us who would much prefer a second Halloween, it’s the lamest day of the year. Not to say everyone hates Valentine’s Day, but all the lovey-dovey stuff can be a bit much sometimes.
Anti-Valentine’s Day is more our style—sarcastic, dark and definitely way less cheesy. We’ve compiled a list of 12 things you need to buy if you are a V-Day hater to do everything in your power to not celebrate love Feb. 14. Happy holidays!
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1. “I will cut you” shirt – $21
Let people know that they shouldn’t even try to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day by wearing this shirt all week.
2. “Fuck Valentines” banner – $28
This Etsy account makes customizable banners so you can throw the best anti-Valentine’s Day party ever filled with horror movies, snacks and definitely no significant others.
3. “You make me puke” pin – $10
Honestly just rock this pin year-round because it basically sums up our feelings about people in general.
4. Insult hearts cookie cutters – $5.99
Celebrate Feb. 14 by making these sarcastic insult cookies to pass out to everyone you know who’s guilty for succumbing to way too much PDA.
5. Anti-Valentine’s Day nail stickers – $4.25
Get yourself in the spirit by giving yourself a manicure with these stickers, which include broken hearts and “meh” lettering. Self-care is important.
6. “Nope” ring – $17-$22
Everyone loves jewelry on Valentine’s Day, and this ring gets the point across. Get your BFF one too while you’re at it for an easy and personal V-Day gift.
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7. “I heart me” temp tattoo – $3.52
Go all out and show people who your Valentine really is—yourself and absolutely nobody else. We might consider getting this tatted on us permanently, tbh.
8. “I hate you” bracelets – $6.90
You and your significant other or best friend need these. It shows that you care about someone, but you will always be dead inside.
9. Broken-heart bath bomb – $7
Enjoy some me time on Friday by taking a bath with this festive broken-heart bath bomb. It’ll be totally moody and extra, which is a perfect way to celebrate.
10. Black roses – 84 for $20.78
Cover your room with these black roses, or gift some to everyone you know because who even likes the red ones anyway?
11. Love Still Sucks: A 2019 Anti-Valentine’s Day Anthology – $0.99 Kindle, $12.99 paperback
Cuddle up with a good book such as this one on Valentine’s Day, and bask in all its angsty goodness.
12. “I tolerate you” shirt – $18.32
Honestly, this is a high compliment coming from people who hate love, so your friends should be honored if you wear this shirt around them.
Do you hate Valentine’s Day? Sound off in the comments!
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