Anyone who says they always knew there would be another Bill & Ted movie is full of it. It’s that simple. In fact, many would say a sequel came as a complete surprise. But our stoner rockers returned many years later, the great George Carlin having passed, and Keanu Reeves doing just fine in the franchise department, thanks to The Matrix and John Wick. Why? Probably for that very reason: It’s Keanu Reeves.
Somewhere along the way, Mr. Point Break became Hollywood’s poster boy for positivity and earnestness. Someone convinced him it would make people happy, and he was in. Plain and simple. That’s why some of the other potential sequels listed here are the stuff of longshot, and from long ago, but would still be quite welcome.
Dude, Where’s My Car?
One thing’s for sure: Jennifer Garner would definitely reprise her role. And Seann William Scott (Stifler forever!) would definitely be in. Ashton Kutcher is probably the only one who would require some finessing. Our two titular dudes were clearly inspired by Bill & Ted and just might view Reeves’ reconciling with revisiting his half of Wyld Stallyns as reason enough for them to, as well.
Sandlerists (one would imagine that is what they go by) at worst put Little Nicky at the bottom of their lists and at best deem it his only cult classic. With the former, the only movie potentially lower on said list would be his cringeworthy Grown Ups and, hell, that got a sequel. So why not Satan’s son? No, the film hasn’t aged well, and the fact that the late legendary Rodney Dangerfield wouldn’t be able to reprise his role hurts its chance, but CGI has saved many a day. And for Adam Sandler, CGI has always stood for Cash Grab Incorporated.
The Ladies Man
Does this reek of straight to DVD? Sure it does. Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be worth a stoned Sunday viewing. Joe Dirt went that route, after all. On our side is the fact that star Tim Meadows (Mean Girls, SNL) is seemingly incapable of aging. Plus, there’s no way he’d turn down doing a sequel. Nor would co-star Will Ferrell, who said yes to a sequel to Ben Stiller’s Zoolander and clearly takes himself about as seriously as necessary when it comes to this type of thing. Meadows’ radio man Leon Phelps would obviously be doing a podcast now, as opposed to a radio show, and his decidedly non-PC vernacular would simply be spectacular.
How this never made it to Broadway both eludes and frustrates. Bring It On, Footloose and Flashdance all hit the Great White Way, but not the story of this Jersey girl seeking out fame and fortune in the big city, armed only with her dead mother’s acoustic and her innate ability to dance on top of a bar to “Pour Some Sugar On Me”? It’s the type of rags-to-rocker story Broadway drools over, and Piper Perabo, along with Tyra Banks and Bridget Moynahan, sold us on this symphony. Now, 20 years later, Perabo’s Violet Sanford is either on a Greatest Hits tour or owns the titular bar herself.
Based on the fantastic book by music-lover Nick Hornby, who also had success on the big screen with an adaptation of his novel About A Boy, John Cusack just ain’t the guy to sign up for a sequel. But he doesn’t need to (see: Hot Tub Time Machine 2). While his character’s pursuit of closure with every girl he ever dated served as a central theme, it was the record store he owned that was the real heart of the story. Hell, Hulu just completely reimagined the whole thing with Zoë Kravitz in Cusack’s place, and it was pitch-perfect. For those inclined on a true revisiting of the original hit film, though, we can get an update on Cusack’s no doubt beatific and boring life through Jack Black’s rock ’n’ roll lens as the guy who’s now running the show.
Look, this is never gonna happen. But that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t or, even more importantly, couldn’t. Cameron Crowe revisited his past here (literally) but as a filmmaker has never shown any desire to do so. Even so, a Stillwater 20th anniversary tour? Or a reunion? The premise could be that simple. Maybe Penny Lane (Oscar nominee Kate Hudson) in pure Sharon Osbourne mode, managing the aged yet still ferocious rockers. It could all revolve around her coercing an apprehensive Russell Hammond to partake and everyone’s favorite journalist to cover the whole damn thing. Make him a filmmaker shooting a documentary about it. Bam.
Tom Hanks, too, hasn’t been a fan of part twos, but this epic tale begs for a “Where is he now?” Damn, the last quarter of the first movie was all, “What does he do now?” Imagine if he decides to find that island again, where such a pivotal chapter of his life took place, 20 years later? Imagine the fun of a scene where he passes volleyballs while shopping at a Walmart and texting someone about his thinking to do so? The epitome of poignant. No Helen Hunt necessary. It’d be all about giving thanks to Hanks.
The story of the lad from Northern England who takes to dance while his coal miner father grapples with his boy’s love of ballet made its way to Broadway. A solid show, it didn’t exactly need a wheelbarrow for the Tony Awards. Even so, it found a dedicated following and a revolving door of Billys, even if none matched the working-boy charm of Jamie Bell, most recently seen in a much-maligned Fantastic Four reboot and the Elton John biopic Rocketman. There’s just so much worth revisiting here. He’d be 31 now. Maybe Billy is the biggest ballet star in the world or saw all he needed to see and has since resigned himself to passing on the magic of ballet to young men. Both worthy tales to be told.
Requiem For A Dream
This gloriously complicated film by Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, The Wrestler) is probably best remembered for a wildly kinky scene involving Oscar-winner Jennifer Connelly (she won for A Beautiful Mind). Shame. Because while Connelly is superb, as is future Oscar-winner Jared Leto—both experience a downward spiral thanks to heroin—it’s ultimately the Ellen Burstyn show (too many awards to mention, an Oscar among them). She plays a TV addict who finds herself dependent on drugs in her own right as she readies herself for the possibility of being on a game show and thereby begins a quest to lose weight. In a world where Big Pharma has only gotten bigger, it’d be truly something to see how these characters are faring now.
Remember The Titans
At the risk of repetition, Hollywood A-lister Denzel Washington’s interest in revisiting a role is stumbling block No. 1. He did a second Equalizer film, but, to be fair, that had franchise written all over it, especially as it’s based on an ’80s TV series. Washington’s presence would be key, ultimately, but a cameo would suffice. This season’s Titans can visit the man who never gave up on the crew they’re struggling to live up to in an old-age home. He delivers a Washington-esque monologue, and we’re off to the races. Or the field, actually.
The Little Vampire
Jonathan Lipnicki did what any kid would do after stealing every scene he was in with Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire just a few years earlier: He took the lead in the first film offered to him. In this kiddie cult classic, Lipnicki befriends a vampire kid who is being hunted. The bullied new kid in town found it in him to muster up the courage and stand by his fanged friend, but what about after the credits rolled? Did he stay in the vanquishing vampire’s line of work? Or maybe he’s just the dad to a child in an equally precarious position 20 years later. Hey, it was just announced that they’re doing this very thing with Sharkboy & Lavagirl, with Taylor Lautner returning.