Some people look to magazines for advice on love. Others ask friends. Me; I think the best advice can be found in songs. Musicians always are talking about love and heartbreak, so they must know a thing or two about it. If you listen to enough songs you can find tips on first dates, advice on flirting, how to handle fights and even what to do when you break up.
Disclaimer: The following advice probably will not help you find love. In fact, if you follow it you might be single forever.
Take your crush out on a Friday night. When you start making out and she takes off your pants— turn on the TV.
BLINK 182 – “What’s My Age Again”
The best compliment to give your honey is comparing them to the smell of angels.
NEW FOUND GLORY – “Hold My Hand”
Take your car and drive it down the hill by your sweetheart’s house. If they are waiting on the step, hug each so tight that your parkas cling and kiss right there. Then insist they start smoking the same cigarettes your past significant others did.
JAWBREAKER – “Chesterfield King”
Go to the Philly Pizza Company. Order hot tea. When the waitress says they only have iced, jump on the table and shout “anarchy.”
DEAD MILKMEN – “Punk Rock Girl”
When your crush gets on a plane never to return, wake up all their neighbors asking where they went.
ALL TIME LOW – “Remembering Sunday”
Tell your sweetie that you will follow them into darkness if they don’t get into heaven or hell.
DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE – “I Will Follow You”
If your girlfriend decides to kiss another girl, fall in love with both of them and cry.
NEW POLITICS – “Girl Crush”
Sit in their room repeatedly asking if you’re turning them on, while also saying you won’t care about them tomorrow.
TAKING BACK SUNDAY – “Great Romances of the 20th Century”
Be sure to repeatedly thank them while tearing yourself down.
THE WONDER YEARS – “Hey Thanks”
Compare yourself to Superman. Just do that.
BRAID – “Collect From Clark Kent”