We here at AP know you internet denizens love lists. And we know that folks in bands have other interests beyond cranking out decibels. So here’s Friday Fives, a column that solicits a list of five subjects from a number of various rockers.
This week JC Charles (pictured second from right), guitarist of the Washington, D.C., rock group the Relapse Symphony shares his five best pickup maneuvers. Use them to land yourself a honey before Valentine’s Day rolls around.
1. “Sorry about my friend.”
Get your best friend way drunker than anyone should ever be, then encourage him to hit on a cute girl. After he has made a fool of himself, apologize to her for his behavior, buy her and her friends drinks and look like a hero! Also, call your poor friend a cab.
2. Movie quotes
Try working movie quotes into normal chat. If they pick up on it, it could open a whole new line of conversation. Just be careful not to quote Yoda too many times; you might get kicked out of the bar for general creepiness.
3. Better by comparison
Beg the other friends you are going out with not to shower or do their hair for a few days. If they own anything resembling a Bill Cosby sweater, that couldn't hurt either. When you are standing next to nothing but smelly messes, you can't help but look like Brad Pitt.
4. “Yeah, I ride a hog.”
It's a scientific fact that everyone looks cooler on a motorcycle. You can't exactly bring one into a bar, and they are far too dangerous for most of us to ride, anyway. Solution? Carry the helmet everywhere you go. People will just assume you are a badass. Just be careful about wearing it into a bank.
5. Hobbies and interests
The simplest and most straightforward approach is usually the best. See a girl or guy you like? Walk right up and start a conversation. Show a real interest in who they are. If that fails, tell them you're rich and famous.