14 totally bonkers music conspiracy theories

May 22, 2017

If we’re to believe the Twitter conspiracy theorists (and come on, when are Twitter conspiracy theorists ever wrong?), Avril Lavigne apparently died in 2003 and was replaced by a lookalike.

But this complicated (get it?) theory isn’t the only music-related conspiracy to have made the rounds on the internet. From Andrew W.K. being an industry puppet to Rivers Cuomo being Kurt Cobain in disguise, here’s a list of some ridiculously entertaining theories.

1. Andrew W.K. has been played by several actors

He loves to party, but Andrew W.K. also loves a good bit of trolling. The “Party Hard” rocker has revelled in stoking the theory that he is the product of industry bots who sought to create the ideal frontman. He had even held a press conference which, by his own admission, just sent the theorists even wilder. The above 2015 interview with Larry King didn’t do anything to dispel the rumors, either: “Are you a member of the Illuminati?” asks King. “Not formally,” comes the reply. As that wasn’t enough, some people think one of the people who “create” Andrew is called Steev Mike, who’s actually Dave Grohl.

2. Tom DeLonge is the only one who knows the truth about Trump and Russia

Tom DeLonge: musician in bands such as Blink-182, Box Car Racer and Angels & Airwaves, and alien researcher with a book out, an academy and connections to the CIA. Oh, and he knows what’s up between Donald Trump and Russia, according to Noisey. Although the article is a joke, TDeLonge tweeted about Trump’s possible impeachment and connection to spies.

The prophecy is coming… #TrumpGoingToPrison2017

— Tom DeLonge (@tomdelonge) May 16, 2017

Sounds legit because nothing in the world has made sense for the past year, except for what DeLonge tweets, apparently.

3. Avril Lavigne died and was replaced by a lookalike

We covered this in more detail here, but to sum up this theory: Avril Lavigne died in 2003 and was replaced by a lookalike in order to preserve the singer’s promising career. It’s incredibly far-fetched, but the internet has gone crazy for this theory, with many fans seemingly convinced by a series of tweets that go deep into the claims. We’ve got our fingers crossed for a happy ending to all this (sorry).

4. Underoath joined the Illuminati in 2011

Have you watched Underoath’s video for “Paper Lung?” Do it again, but this time look for all the symbols that suggest the band have joined the Illuminati. If more proof is needed, just remember the band’s 2011 tour was called the Illuminato(u)r, based on the song, “Illuminator,” from Ø (Disambiguation). However, don’t get your hopes up because frontman Spencer Chamberlain was quick to debunk the rumors, saying they’re not a part of any secret societies; and director Jonathan Desbiens guaranteed the symbols used in the music video are purely artistic.

5. Elvis isn’t dead, and he gave us a signal

This theory made the rounds loads of times over the years, but what’s best about it is the recent viral video that claims to show an elderly Elvis Presley in what appears to be his yard giving a secret signal. The theorists claim that the “V” signal “Elvis” makes is a numerological message meaning “proof of life.” It just looks like an old geezer flipping off the camera to us, Brit-style, but it’s got many folks on the internet all shook up…

6. Jim Morrison isn’t dead

Another “’X’ ain’t dead” conspiracy theory, another shoddy-looking video of some old dude. Yep, Presley isn’t the only one who is supposedly a faker. There’s a theory that the Doors’ Jim Morrison didn’t die of a heroin overdose, and is, in fact, alive and well. “Is that Jim Morrison?” shouts our cameraman, subtly. “It’s just some old hippy from the past,” “Jim” retorts, before taking a big swig from a bottle. We’ll have what he’s having.

7. Rivers Cuomo is Kurt Cobain in disguise

We could be here all day discussing the various theories surrounding Kurt Cobain, but of all the “Kurt is still alive” claims, the idea that he lives on in disguise as Rivers Cuomo of Weezer has to be the most ludicrously fascinating. (One Reddit poster is really convinced.) But come on, could you honestly see the man who wrote “Smells Like Teen Spirit” being the same guy who wrote “Feels Like Summer”? Case closed.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

8. Michael Jackson is alive and pretending to be “Dave Dave”

Here’s a thriller for you: The King of Pop didn’t die in 2009 and is masquerading as a burn victim named Dave Dave. Conspiracy theorists point to the similarities in facial features and voice between Dave and MJ. There are also purported discrepancies regarding the autopsy and a supposed escape from a coroner’s van. It seems that even after his death, Michael Jackson will never be far from controversy.

9. Pete Wentz died in 2010 and was replaced by a clone

YouTube channel “Dead Celebrities & The Illuminati” does exactly what you’d think: shares revealing information about celebrities who were killed—usually in satanic sacrifices—and replaced by “made-man” humans. According to this theory, Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz died in late 2009 or early 2010, and the proof is that “overnight, he was no longer cute.” By cute, the narrator means no more bangs and eyeliner. The best part of this theory is that he was actually the last member of Fall Out Boy to die, and Patrick Stump was actually born a woman.

This has to be true because even Wentz himself “confirmed” the theory:

Happy Monday, try not to die in a ritual blood killing and get cloned today https://t.co/Vu5e0pkvVe

— pw (@petewentz) August 1, 2016

10. You know who else died? Everyone in My Chemical Romance…

The Way brothers are actually the Way sisters, Gerardine and Michelle. Now I’m dead. This video has the lines “everyone in the industry is transgender pretty much” and “one time there were real people there [in the industry], although they were in the minority, but now there’s nothing but clones with demons inside.” Maybe their clones can’t play any instruments, and that’s why MCR isn’t getting back together?

11. …and every member and past member of Panic! At The Disco

That’s why they got rid of the exclamation point for a while. ALL. IS. EXPLAINED.

Maybe the real people resurrected afterward and then decided to take back the band and the exclamation point? We’ll never know the truth.

OK, but even Brendon Urie said he’s a clone on Periscope:

We almost believed it until he said he couldn’t sing, and that’s way too much.

12. Mick Jagger is controlled by the music industry

[GIF by Giphy]

Why do Kesha, Maroon 5, the Jonas Brothers and the Black Eyed Peas, among many others, have lyrics about Mick Jagger? Because writers and producers such as Benny Blanco are trying to spike his popularity, of course. Reddit users suggest that a quick look at Google Trends shows that searches for his name are higher during the release of each song than in any other period in recent memory. Behind all that is Vivendi, and they own many companies, including Universal Music Group, which signed the Rolling Stones in 2008. Two years later, a bunch of songs mentioning Mick Jagger were released, and the Stones re-released a rare concert movie that secured the No. 1 spot on four countries and No. 2 on four more. Coincidence? A lot of people don’t think so.

13. Morrissey predicted the death of Princess Diana

Several lyrics penned by the Smiths’ frontman Morrissey are claimed to foreshadow the death of Princess Diana, who was killed in a car crash in 1997. Conspiracy theorists allege several connections between the band’s music and the Princess of Wales’ death, such as the fact that the band’s “The Queen Is Dead” was the only single they exclusively released in France, the country where Diana died.

14. Lorde is 45 years old

Some folks just can’t handle kids being talented. Twenty-year-old pop megastar Lorde has been the subject of wild claims that state she is simply “too good” for the age she claims she is, with an old interview in which she says she’s called “Ella” and she’s “actually 45” used to support this theory. The internet can be a real liability sometimes. Fast forward to 3:24 to find out more about this theory.