11 absolutely ridiculous MCR fan theories that are just crazy enough to work
My Chemical Romance, The Black Parade

Just like you and snowflakes (see what we did there?), no My Chemical Romance song is like the other. Because of Gerard Way and team’s ability to craft really beautiful (and heartbreaking and maddening and every other emotion) songs, we started scheming: “Hey, bet there’s a MCR single for everyone based on their zodiac sign!” You know, normal thoughts.

Full disclosure: We know certain astrologers have different interpretations of the signs and their most defining traits, but for consistency’s sake, we use this UC Davis breakdown, because it’s a real college and your horoscope might as well be considered science. So, here’s the My Chemical Romance song for you, based on your sign:

Read more: Here’s the Panic! At The Disco song that best fits your Zodiac Sign

Capricorn

Dec. 23 – Jan. 20
Element: Earth
Personality Traits: practical, prudent, ambitious, disciplined, patient, careful, humorous, reserved
My Chemical Romance Song: “Teenagers”
Why It Fits You: Capricorn, you’re a real leader of underdogs—it’s in your authoritative and kind spirit. So when a group requires understanding—a group often maligned, like teenagers—you’re there to step in.

Aquarius

Jan. 21 – Feb. 19
Element: Air
Personality Traits: friendly, humanitarian, honest, loyal, original, inventive, independent, intellectual
My Chemical Romance Song: “Welcome To The Black Parade”
Why It Fits You: Aquarius, people love you almost as much as they love that first piano note of “Welcome To The Black Parade.” You have a wonderfully social energy about you, and it’s intoxicating…like a goth-y parade. Trust us.

Pisces

Feb. 20 – March 20
Element: Water
Personality Traits: imaginative, sensitive, compassionate, kind, selfless, intuitive, sympathetic
My Chemical Romance Song: “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)”
Why It Fits You: If anyone is going to relate to a song about not being okay, Pisces, it’s you. That’s not a bad thing—you’re beloved because of your honesty and your sensitivity. It takes a lot of strength to reveal hurt feelings, and you’re a pro.

Aries

March 21 – April 20
Element: Fire
Personality Traits: adventurous, energetic, pioneering, courageous, enthusiastic, confident, dynamic, quick-witted
My Chemical Romance Song: “Famous Last Words”
Why It Fits You: “Famous Last Words” is a song unafraid of its message—it’s declarative, it’s headstrong, it knows exactly where it is and where it wants to go. Plus, there’s literal fire in the music video, which is so you, Aries.

Taurus

April 21 – May 21
Element: Earth
Personality Traits: patient, reliable, warmhearted, loving, persistent, determined, placid, security-loving
My Chemical Romance Song: “Planetary (Go!)”
Why It Fits You: This might come as a shock to you, Taurus, but hear us out: This track, while wild and very out there, is essentially about wanting to act as a safety net for a loved one, and that’s totally your speed.

Gemini

May 22 – June 21
Element: Air
Personality Traits: adaptable, versatile, communicative, witty, intellectual, eloquent, youthful, lively
My Chemical Romance Song: “Thank You For The Venom”
Why It Fits You: “Love it or leave it,” you’re the only one who understands, Gemini. This song teeters a line between pure adoration and confusion, a complicated juxtaposition you know well. You are often a person who can see both sides of a situation even if you’re on a definitive one, and that’s a real talent.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE