Matt Toka’s never been to Warped, so we thought we’d get his thoughts on being at the only tour that matters this summer. Here’s the fourth installment of our summer-long series with the green-haired hooligan. Look forward to weekly updates on Toka’s shenanigans, photos, videos and any other crazy additions he can throw at AP this summer.

July 2 – Off day
Laundry, laundry, laundry.

July 3 – Dallas, TX
Our stage was so far away from the rest, so I gave out a shitload of Monster Energy Drink to encourage people to come to our set. It worked, and one dude even licked my armpit for a Monster. It ended up being one of the bigger crowds for me, too! (I really hope that dude went home and brushed his teeth a few times.)

July 4 – Off day
Today was another day off, so I took a well-needed shower and slept most of the day. At night, I got bored and rode around Wal-Mart on a bike with Ultramark and Nathan from Stepdad. Skinny Lister and I barbequed in the Wal-Mart parking lot—it doesn’t get any more American than that. We could see some fireworks in the distance while we drank rum, beer and ate bacon wrapped hotdogs for about 10 hours.

July 5 – Maryland Heights, MO
Fuck you, summer heat! It was so fucking hot. It was super humid and 104 degrees out, so I filled squirt guns up with Monster Energy Drink and then shot a bunch of kids waiting in line—it was really funny. I also saw a lot of people I met on the Blackout Forever Tour come watch my set, which was badass. Later in the day, I watched Emily’s Army on the Kevin Says stage. Watching them reminded me of all the good times I had playing in my first high school band. I love all those guys. They are so talented!

July 6 – Auburn Hills, MI
Being close to Detroit reminded me of turning 19 and driving from Ohio to Windsor, Ontario to drink and gamble. It was the rowdiest crowd I’ve had yet, and just before I went on I almost cancelled the gig because I was so fucking sick. I was dehydrated from the day before but like they say the show must go on. I also met a guy who pinned two buttons through his chest, which I thought was respectable.

July 7 – Tinley Park, IL
I met a lot more kids from the Blackout Forever Tour and watched Rise Against and Falling Reverse’s sets. One of my blowup dolls at my merch tent got a hole. (So now she has four.) I didn’t have time to shower today, so I bathed in wet wipes then spent the night editing videos for YouTube. My clothes are starting to smell like Bigfoot’s dick.

July 8 – Shakopee, MN
It was a lot cooler today and I ate cheese curds, but—by far—the best part of the day was having an engagement take place on stage. A fan named Shawn came on stage during my set and purposed to his girlfriend, Taylor. Young love is in the Warped Tour air. Congrats, guys!