THE SIX DEGREES OF SUMMER: GAMES

SIX DEGREES OF: WOLFENSTEIN 3D
(1992; Apogee/id Software)

Video game connections are actually a little trickier to come up with than you might think. But we did come up with six new games all stemming from 1992’s Wolfenstein 3D–a game you’d recognize only if you were born in the early ’80s. How’s that for longevity?

1. WOLFENSTEIN

Publisher: Activision

Platform: PC, PS3, Xbox 360

$49.99 (PC), $59.99 (PS3/360)

Release Date: July 30

Applies an extreme makeover to the great-granddaddy of all splat-happy first-person shooters, giving onetime gaming legend B.J. Blazkowicz (still the leading cause of death among Nazi stormtroopers) a new lease on life in the process. Stop Hitler’s occult-obsessed legions the old-school way: Use superpowers and prototype weaponry to blow dinner plate-sized holes in goose-stepping foes, with button-mashing single/multiplayer modes twin highlights.

Predecessor Wolfenstein 3D was the first trigger-squeezing epic to widely popularize play in the third dimension, paving the way for nearly every successive ultraviolent outing to come.

2. RED FACTION: GUERRILLA

Publisher: THQ

Platform: PC, PS3, Xbox 360

$39.99 (PC), $59.99 (PS3/360)

Release Date: June 9 (PS3/360); Aug. 25 (PC)

Another aging run-n-gun series freshly revamped for next-gen systems, which–like forerunners–allows you to dynamically blow holes in walls and structures as needed. Level buildings, topple staircases and cover your ass as endless approaches to each dark, dystopian sci-fi mission provide for wildly unpredictable gunfights.

Borrows virtually every underlying concept, from pitched battles to ridiculously overpowered firearms, from its spiritual forerunner, which in turn filched them from hyper-caffeinated teens the world over.

3. THE CONDUIT

Publisher: Sega

Platform: Wii

$49.99
Release Date: June 23
A catchy, neo-futuristic blaster pits you, as sorely outgunned former Secret Service agent Mr. Ford, against evil, insect-like aliens known as "The Drudge." Offering fully customizable controls and the All-Seeing Eye, a funky gizmo that detects hidden enemies/items, it also boasts sharper graphics than the Wii’s usual muddy, low-res fare.

What forward progress? Motion-sensing interface aside, it’s essentially just a 21st century spin on the timeless play elements-point, aim, shoot–legendary developer id Software first perfected 17 years back. Not that we’re complaining.

4. TERMINATOR: SALVATION

Publisher: Warner Bros.

Platform: PC, PS3, Xbox 360

$49.99 (PC), $59.99 (PS3/360)

Release Date: May 19

Steel your nerves and take aim at homicidal cyborgs and killer robot walkers to save humanity one hollow-point slug at a time. Based on the epic summer blockbuster, and featuring both John Connor and supporting squad mates, it’s hardly IQ-building fare, but, hey-who needs depth when you’ve got eye-popping visuals and huge-ass explosions?

Released the same year as Wolfenstein 3D, early PC outing The Terminator: 2029 also championed first-person combat, and foreshadowed the first-person shooter’s huge presence in gaming to this day. Who knew the franchises would still be going head-to-head nearly two decades later?

5. PROTOTYPE

Publisher: Activision

Platform: PC, PS3, Xbox 360

$49.99 (PC), $59.99 (PS3/360)

Release Date: June 16

Controlling shape-shifter Alex Mercer, hunt bloodthirsty mutants at superhuman speeds, sprint up buildings or sprout blades from your arms and unleash hell as the situation demands. Intense and gory, this open-ended action game set in New York City’s gritty urban environs lets you assume victims’ identities and fillet foes while performing gravity-defying stunts to get ahead, natch.

Like a certain wiener-schnitzel-kicking classic, it instantly plays to male wish fulfillment. Plus, similar to said outing’s latest remake, also comes from software publisher Activision, whose gold-pooping franchises Guitar Hero and World Of Warcraft may leave it the only viable concern after the crash of ’09.

6. THE SIMS 3

Publisher: Electronic Arts

Platform: PC

$49.99

Release Date: June 2

An interactive dollhouse, featuring little computer people whose lives you control, now offers huge neighborhoods filled with complex individuals and new personality quirks to enjoy. If a nifty visual upgrade and added social/professional options don’t have you quivering with anticipation, we’re confident the prospect of courting virtual boy/girlfriends even more schizophrenic than your real significant other will.

Okay, you caught us, we confess: It has zero to do with Wolfenstein 3D. Nonetheless, we remain confident the title-heir to the best-selling PC outing–is the game its creators would have made, had they not tragically OD’d on Megadeth and remained Mountain Dew-swilling virgins until age 36.