Being at the barricade at a show is a goal and vast commitment for many music fans, and with it comes many universal worries and predicaments. We’ve elaborated on the unique culture of extreme line waiting in the past, but what’s really going through our heads in those last moments of our line waits then during the show as we take our places at the front? Well, it usually goes a lot like this:
2a. That fucker just cut the line! Someone say something. Not me. Someone. [Looks around.]
2b. Someone else: “Ugh. I'm going to say something to that jerk.”
2c. “Uhm, the end of the line is back there.” Oh, thank you, someone else!
3. Will I make it to the barricade?
4. Will security classify my belt/purse/bag/necklace/asthma inhaler as a weapon?
7. Should I sit down to conserve energy?
8. They're opening the doors! For the love of all that is good, stop pushing!
9. [Intense wave of relief as the ticket scans properly] (see #1)
10. Will security really do anything if I don't walk calmly to the floor?
11. [Creates a speedwalk-light jog hybrid.] See? Walking.
12. [Intense wave of relief upon making it to the barricade.]
13. [Paranoia that the person behind you is plotting to take your spot (They are.)]
If I just widen my stance, plant my feet and hold onto this thing…
14. Oh, great. I'm at the part of the barrier that pinches your arm. Fate accepted.
DURING THE SHOW
15. “Song lyrics/Song lyrics/Incorrect song lyrics.” Oops I hope no one heard that.
16. My feet hurt,
but I can’t move, let me shift eeever so slightly to the side. Better. Sort of. Now the other foot hurts. Other side. Let’s try tip-toes. Heels only? Let me try hanging from the barricade.
17. No, bladder! No, you do not have to pee. Only 10 minutes until the headliner. Suck it up! We’re not losing this spot!
18. Is that person behind me just putting their hand on the barrier for stability, or are they trying to weasel into my spot?
18a. They’re totally weaseling.
18b. How can I shut them down in an inconspicuous way?
18c. Oops, is that my elbow pressing into your fingerbones? Totally can’t help it. Sorry! Sorry!
19. Did someone take my phone?
19a. Did someone take my wallet?
19b. Did someone take my purse?
20. I actually can’t feel anything anymore.
21. What is the acceptable level of movement up here where my every move affects everyone around me, because…
Too late. [Starts jumping and gets slammed into the barrier by angry people who you’ve forced to jump with you.]
22. Whose sweat is this?
23. What is that smell?
24. What was in that cup that just hit me in the head?
25. What are the security guards looking at?
26. Oh no. Crowdsurfer. [Puts hands up.]
27. Is this crowdsurfer going to hurt me?
27a. Is my wrist going to snap if I try to hold them up?
27b. Is their boot coming close to my face?
27c. How strong is this security guard?
27d. Will I lose my spot when the crowd rushes back into place after this crowdsurfer passes?
27e. Am I going to chip my tooth/break my nose if this crowdsurfer falls on my head?
27f. I now know exactly what this security guard’s stomach smells like.
28. Is the person beside me going to pass out? Should I alert security?
(Concert Code: Ask them if they’re okay and signal security immediately if you think someone is getting too battered up there.)
29. There surely has to be a better place to rest your elbow than on my on shoulder.
31. Can my hand fit into the crowd to reach my phone so I can take a photo?
(Answer: Probably not, but you can usually make some wiggle room.)
32. But, really. Thoughts actually kind of just vanish for the most part.
34. Am I ever going to get out of the parking lot?
35. Why is it over?! [Ugly sobbing.]
Know the source of any unlinked gifs here? Let us know, and we will credit them! Thanks!