Track By Track: Mixtapes, 'Even On The Worst Nights'

Known for their playful pop punk and no-one-is-safe internet banter, Mixtapes are releasing their debut full-length, Even On The Worst Nights, through No Sleep on June 26. After a slew of EPs, Worst Nights brings a full 16-song onslaught of tunes detailing the full emotional spectrum of 20-something suburbia. While vocalist/guitarist Ryan Rockwell may open the album spouting “By the time this is over, I won't have any friends,” the self-aware thoughtfulness penned tightly within his snarky demeanor throughout the record may produce a different ending. Giving altpress.com one of the longest track-by-tracks to date, Rockwell lays down a series of pensive, relatable anecdotes about life, loss and not giving a shit about what you think.

“Seven Mile”
This song is essentially a song about feeling out of touch with everyone around you the more you put work into something that you love. With most things you put your heart into, it's easy to get so wrapped up in it that you forget a lot of basic things and that can easily include human interaction. It's a song about that and just getting older and figuring out what you want to do without worrying about a level of success or what other people think. I've realized a lot of songs I write don't always focus on one certain thing, but a few things that I usually try and tie together, as I'm sure you will see.

“Something Better”
Basically a continuation of “Seven Mile,” this song focuses on the day-to-day basis of getting older and finding your place in the world. Sometimes we worry so much about the future that we don't enjoy the things happening around us. This song is saying that on most nights I just care about that specific night, and maybe one day we can find something better. Until then, these nights I spend with people I'm lucky to know, talking about movies on a porch, or how much so many current bands suck is just fine.

“Hey Ma Pt. 2”
Maura Weaver: When I wrote these lyrics, I was sort of living between places and I ended up at my mom's apartment, but could only stay for so long. Basically, my life was a bit of a shitstorm for a little while last fall.

I'm pretty sure these lyrics were some of the only ones I wrote during this time period that seemed worthwhile of anything. I remember feeling a helplessness that seemed immense when I wrote them, and I just wanted to express that.  As a nineteen-year-old who wanted to be hanging out with groups of people and getting into mischief, but also wanting to accomplish goals that other people my age didn't really relate to, I felt it hard to find balance.

I guess through this I was just reminded that I can change my life if I feel deserving of it. As long as you keep letting yourself feel helpless, you'll be helpless. No one is cheating you but yourself—especially if you look at the world like it owes you anything. I'm still working on this, but I'm glad for the reminder.

“Even On The Worst Nights”
The first two lines of this song were written by my friend Christian [Migliorese, bass] who plays in the band Candy Hearts.  This song is about looking at all of the things you used to do and being torn on weather or not you miss it. For instance, back in the day, some friends and I would go to the frat houses on the University of Cincinnati campus and bluff our way into the parties just to people watch or take their Xbox or change jars and cash them in at coinstar. That was wrong, but desperate times, man!

As a band, I realize we don't care about a lot of things that many other people do, but we love playing music and getting to meet people, and I am very passionate about the actual songs I write. So when I say, “We won't go down without a violent fight,” it’s that no matter how we are perceived or what other people think, this is what we are going to do.

“You Must Not Be Around Here”
This song is a love letter to Cincinnati and all of the things we get ourselves into. It's a song for when you hang out with a person when you know you shouldn't. It's a song about accepting the loss of feelings or a person in your life and coping with it. Sometimes you just take the memories or stories you get from a bad situation and, in retrospect, realize that those are good enough. Everyone has had a phase of going through something and thinking that it would haunt you forever. One day you can realize that all of these things shaped you and who you are in a way you are perfectly happy with and without all of those mistakes, we could never be where we are now, which is why I wouldn't have it any other way.

“You & I”
This is a love song. There is a band called the Fake Boys, and their singer’s name is Jim Dominici. We met about a year ago in Florida and have been the best of friends since. Jim and I got along from the very beginning, especially when it came to the music “industry.” To any band that talks about their image, what’s good or bad for it, or talks to the right person because it just might help them get on a shitty five-date tour—fuck all of that. Jim and I made this song for each other, and it's not about a girl but it is a love song to each other and to the people who feel the same.

“I’m Wearing The Device (Bridge, Water)”
The first verse of this song is about getting to that point where it's a daily struggle of doing anything as opposed to sitting at home and shutting yourself off from everything. The second verse of this song comes from the flip side of the first verse. I know most of us have a late-night hangout or certain place of sanctuary. Mine happens to be the Waffle House down the street from me in Harrison, Ohio. It's funny getting in a routine of being at a place where everyone knows each other’s names. You know certain things about each other and what you do for a living, or to go into debt in my case, but you don't really know each other at all. It's funny that sometimes those places can be the most comforting to be. The third verse of this song deals with a drive down route 128, where a lot of the photographs in our album booklet took place.

The chorus of this song ties is basically saying, “Many days and nights I think way too much and don't even know who I am. I used to run away from all my problems but then I realized that was pointless. I'm right here and ready to face whatever I have to deal with even if it sucks”.

The bridge of this song is about how the more we tour and release records there seems to be this amount of pressure I should feel or people we should talk to, but we don't really care. We got together in my basement and wrote some songs we are proud of and still are. If you are in a band and ever cater to an Internet message board or what someone else says, what's the point of doing it anyway? And that's honestly not calling out a certain message board—I mean the Internet in general (Jason Tate was excited for a second because he might have some news to post). This band has already done more than I thought possible, and we are so lucky even to be where we are. So to all the people that like our records: Thank you so much. For the people that don't: Thank you even more.

“I’ll Give You A Hint, Yes”
This is a simple song that is basically about finding someone to do all the things with you that you enjoy. I have so many places I love to go, to drive to, to sit at and write at and/or think. As much as I like to be alone a lot and just collect my thoughts, it's always nice to find someone who you can relate to. There's something special about showing someone your secret places, songs no one else will ever hear or anything like that. I've also realized that I don't like a lot of music people listen to, or at least don't “get” it, but that's okay because I can always listen to Here’s When The Strings Come In by Superchunk and it's okay. It's nice to fall in love with people and things. And when you do find these things, it feels like the other half of you is there and everything is twice as good.

“Russian House DJ”
One night, a friend’s parents were out of town and a bunch of people went to his house to hang out. Nothing particularly crazy happened or anything, but it was one of those nights that, for whatever reason, you remember for a long time. A bunch of friends were there along with some people I had feelings for and some people I didn't want to see. We looked at model train collections, watched movies, talked for hours, drove around and got lost in the woods and at some point, ate White Castle and I went to sleep on the deck in the freezing cold. I woke up next to someone I had feelings for, for a long time. We both called off work that morning and hung out all day. It was a great day and after that I don't think we ever talked again. Sometimes things work out weird like that.

“Anyways”
I buy magazines. I buy them every month. Every month I buy Alternative Press, Spin, Rolling Stone, Vibe etc. because even if there isn't one band in the issue I like, I will read it front to back. I'm not entirely sure why, but I always do and it always interests me. I've also realized the internet has made everybody a critic. I am not complaining about this; I think it's interesting and entirely hilarious. I also think the internet has also made a new type of rock star in our day and age. People talk about how the music industry is failing and this and that, but I don't buy into any of it. From what I can tell, big labels are hurting—boo hoo. Bands still do well, bands still get rich and who really cares anyway? If we ever got rich, I would have a heart shaped swimming pool, though.

I don't think there is a right way to operate your band. I think there are many different ways to do it that can be equally effective and none are really better than the others. I also think that when people are so concerned about getting a certain point across, being an artist, or worried about the future of their band, it can be poison to what you are doing. If I ever realized I was writing a song for Mixtapes and started thinking about how it would go over or if other people would like it, I think it would be time to stop playing music.

“Indian Summer”
Coming back around to the sleepless nights, I've had a lot of them. After my dad passed away, it hit me hard. I could never sleep. I had night terrors and started just getting very irresponsible. When you get depressed like that, I think there comes a point where you are in such a routine that you just become used to it. I think to a degree you can get addicted to being sad. This doesn't necessarily even mean you enjoy it, but in its own way it's comfortable. I realized at some point that nothing is too strong for us to get through no matter what it feels like. I have some great friends and there are periods where I haven't always been there, lied, made excuses and did anything I could to be alone with my horrible thoughts. One day you wake up and wonder why in the world would you do that.

“One For The Ozarks”
I wrote a decent amount of this album in Springfield, Missouri. My family lives there and my aunt and cousins have this property with three houses for them, a stream and a dirt bike and four-wheelers. It's a cool place. She has no internet or anything, so I would just go there over this past winter for days at a time and write and spend time with my cousin Adam. We talked about everything from his kids to our band to my dad, who he had also been close with. Adam had cancer, and each time I would go there he would be doing worse. One day after I left, we got the call a few days later he had passed away. Anyone who has dealt with death personally knows how weird of a feeling it is to just have someone be gone that you were just with. It's not really something you can ever prepare for. This is a song for anyone who has lost somebody close to them and is realizing how to deal with it in a way that can at least be constructive.

“Just When You Thought It Was Over”
This is honestly just a song for the people who always called you goofy for quitting a job to tour or to make a go at being in a band. Most people write these songs after they become successful, and I guess that's fine. I wrote this song while being basically broke because the tours we get to do, people buying our records and the friends we have made already beat out any job or college experience. I wrote the song because I felt justified in our decisions to quit life for a while and play music every day. I can always go back to college at 50 years old. I think starting a punk band then might be kind of embarrassing.

“Golden Sometimes”
This song is about losing someone but more about the way it affects your life on a day-to-day basis. When terrible things happen, it's easy to look at the big picture because it is a big deal. I kind of explored how I felt during normal day-to-day activities when you feel empty and feel very unsure of pretty much everything. When going through something that breaks you down an hour can feel like five hours, and just a short pointless conversation with someone can seem like an eternity. I think I've gotten to the point where I wasn't even sure I was crying and then back around to knowing exactly what was wrong, sometimes in the same day. I've also realized you can't beat yourself up over things you can't change, even though it is all too easy to do. It's okay to feel golden sometimes, and in any terrible situation or loss there are always tons of good memories to overcome the bad ones. Therein lies the struggle.

“Basement Manners”
Maura Weaver: I wrote these lyrics a few months before “Hey Ma, Pt. 2,” but they essentially express the same feeling I talked about above. In this song, I write about people who only seem to go to shows for an ego boost—the people who make cliques like in high school, but judge you on skin-to-tattoo ratio or how rare your 7-inches might be. This insecurity fest definitely exists within every scene in varying degrees, but I've felt especially alienated from the scene in my hometown. Maybe that's normal—I don't know.

Specifically, this song is about bullshit like watching friends of a band mosh to their friends' band and then leave for all the touring bands or stand in the front and text or laugh at new faces in the crowd and feeling like I'm just standing by and watching it all happen. It's a feeling that especially makes me want to get the hell away from people.

“Mt. Hope”
This is a song about sitting around with your friends in your driveway for hours telling stories, recounting memories and making each other laugh. This is a song about not getting sucked down into seasonal blues and listening to goofy songs that make you feel depressed so you can feel like you relate to them. This song is about a balance of hanging out with the people you love and struggling with not wanting to be alone even if you feel like you do. This song is about looking darkness in the face and not being afraid of it, finding sanctuary in places or people that you know make you stronger. This song is about reminiscing about all the crazy things you have done, and realizing one day where you are and not being entirely sure how you got there, but feeling lucky. This is a song about everything else on this album leading up to this and a thank you letter for an amazing group of friends and all the people that this song is about. In a lot of ways, these ridiculous people I choose to spend my time with have saved my life. I've realized over the past two years that everything I have gone through has helped make me who I am and the decisions I make. I have some of the best friends I could ever ask for and you all know who you are.

This album, to me, is a thank you letter to people that inspire you, but also a thank you latter to hard times, bad ideas and everything we go through on a daily basis. I've realized if everything was good we wouldn't know what was bad, and with that comes some of the greatest memories we can have. In times of suffering there will always be something to put everything in perspective for you.