With Valentine’s Day looming, you may already be over the inescapable inundation of sappy love songs. To counter the barrage of retch-inducing cuteness, we’ve put together a playlist that’s the antithesis of romance.
From the shady characters to the heartbreakers and straight-up losers, here are 10 song characters you shouldn’t let into your heart if you meet them in real life.
All Time Low – “Dancing With A Wolf”
All Time Low give Aesop’s fable The Boy Who Cried Wolf a modern twist with a tale of someone who can’t keep their lies straight—a less than ideal quality for your significant other. The lyrics also play with the idea of a wolf in sheep’s clothing, proving that neither party in this relationship is as innocent as they seem.
blink-182 – “She’s Out Of Her Mind”
The subject of this blink-182 track might be antisocial and overdramatic. But she has come to terms with her craziness, which to this narrator makes her all the more endearing. Kudos to those who are able to look past someone’s wacky tendencies. But if you can’t, be sure to avoid the ones described as being out of their mind.
Good Charlotte – “Girls & Boys”
If you’re looking for the perfect guide on people to avoid, Good Charlotte lays it out perfectly via the pushover (“And not much to say in most conversations/But he’ll foot the bill in all situations”) and the user (“She’ll get what she wants if she’s willing to please/His type of girl always comes with a fee”).
Neck Deep – “Serpents”
If a person is scary enough to send the supernatural running, chances are you should follow suit. However, if this Neck Deep track’s opening line wasn’t enough indication, comparison to a literal snake and a mythological siren-like reference (“Took me in with her song, powerless to stop it”) ought to do the trick.
New Found Glory – “Your Jokes Aren’t Funny”
If someone is only in a relationship to toy with you for their own benefit, then take a cue from New Found Glory and stop being the fool. Once you move on from their snaky nature, you’ll either be amazed at how funny their jokes really aren’t or thankful you no longer have to fake a laugh.
Saves The Day – “Rocks Tonic Juice Magic”
Breaking up sucks. But one thing that sucks more is envisioning your ex cutting up your legs with a saw and making a meal of your eyes via spoon. While this Saves The Day track is most likely just an anger-fueled vent session, let’s hope the only real worry here is a cup of lemonade to the face.
Say Anything – “Every Man Has A Molly”
Molly Connolly didn’t support her boyfriend’s art, so she’s definitely not the one for you if you’re a passionate creative. While you might not actually know someone named Molly (even Say Anything frontman Max Bemis revealed via Reddit AMA that she represents a composite of girls), we all know someone just like this.
Sleeping With Sirens – “If You Can’t Hang”
Cheaters, time-wasters and people who change others for their own benefit are just a few types of people Kellin Quinn has zero time for. While none of these are ideal, Quinn ends this sassy Sleeping With Sirens track with a hopeful sentiment that sometimes you have to get through the bad ones to find the best.
The Maine – “Bad Behavior”
They say don’t judge a book by its cover, but when you’re summed up as “Bad Behavior,” there isn’t much promise. From having a disregard for others’ emotions (“And I don’t have time for your feelings/You told me/You’re insecure, but don’t be”) to the blatant acknowledgment the subject is bad for the narrator, this the Maine character is definitely one to avoid.
The Menzingers – “I Don’t Wanna Be An Asshole Any more”
The first step is admitting you have a problem. However, if the problem is being an asshole, your best bet might be to stay away like in this the Menzingers track—especially if this person has an issue being in touch with their feelings (“I push my emotions off a bridge/After taking them hostage with a shotgun/Now they’re somewhere treading water/Somewhere lost inside the man that I’m not”).