Issues' Skyler Acord shares crazy tour experience in Twitter thread
Bands on the Vans Warped Tour have some interesting experiences during their time on the tour, but this one from Issues‘ Skyler Acord is pretty intense.
Read more: Trash Boat detail their Warped Tour experience in series of tweets
Taking a cab would seem like it would be a pretty easy task, but as the bassist had to find out, that isn’t the case at all. Starting things off, Acord told his followers that the story he was about to share was a tale of how he was almost “deliverance’d.”
What follows that introductory tweet is a Twitter thread filled with sketchy cab drivers, a street-smart bus driver and a poor guy just trying to make it to bus call on time.
Check it out below.
Aight ima tell a story about how I almost got deliverance’d just now
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
After introducing the thread, he begins his harrowing journey with a backstory, explaining that his wife took a pretty sketchy cab to Warped Tour earlier that day.
Backstory. My wife took a very sketchy cab into warped tour to meet up with me for 40 bucks. She told me she was sketched out but I didn’t UNDERSTAND UNTIL NOW
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
After realizing he needed to get back to the venue for bus call, the bassist decided to take a cab back to the venue. Coincidentally enough, Acord would soon realize how sketchy the cab his wife took actually was.
So this hotel, nice enough spot, recommended 3 cab companies to get back into the venue before bus call later that night. Like an hour ago. Two would’ve gotten me there late but had reputable enough names like “quik cab” or “rideaway.” The third one however, was named “Larry.”
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
So they call me 3 times to make sure I’m outside when they pull up and they sound FRANTIC. By they I mean there’s a woman who’s coherent ish, and a man who sounds like the farmer from Napoleon dynamite on meth. But fine.
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
Once they arrived, in a van with spraypainted “needaride” slogans on the side, Acord began to realize that things were definitely amiss.
They pull up and it’s literally like a 1995 minivan with no paint and dents some crap sprayed on the side about “needaride.” The door opens and two petite white girls scramble out with a look of terror I’ve rarely seen. I should’ve known. But I get in. Now let me describe them.
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
If the cab situation wasn’t enough to make you a little horrified, the passenger descriptions of this cab ride from hell should allow you to realize this wasn’t going to be a pleasant experience:
Driver has no teeth. Camo hat. Very erratic and impossible to understand. Passenger seat has his wife, wearing a bedazzled hat and denim everything. Constantly chugging beers, won’t stop yelling.
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
Behind her, large bro lookin dude in all camo, bragging about how much pussy he gets and how much he cheats on his wife. Drinking out of a paper bag. Behind him, a larger guy, very quiet. I’m a damn fool so I get in the only seat I fit in all the way back next to the quiet dude.
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
Taking in his surroundings and new cab peers, Acord decides that the best route is to sit in the back next to a quiet companion. Unfortunately, that quiet didn’t last long.
They speed off, turn music all the way up and start asking questions about where I’m from all at once. I’m super confused but trying to keep up in spite of the chaos and volume. Then I stop responding cuz I can’t hear them at all and the cut the music.
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
With a seemingly dizzying amount of questions, Acord is then struck with the news that the cab ride would be a crazy $60.
Wife in the passenger seat starts talking about “we charge 60 for this ride” and I’m like nah, y’all charged my wife 40 earlier in the day. There sure as hell ain’t no meter so I knew they were tryna scam me. They kept saying “oh they canceled we didn’t charge them 40” like I
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
don’t talk to my wife at all?? But I hold my ground and they start tryna pull up their ride history in their notebook like it means anything and the shit starts ESCALATING. Straight up “u callin me a liar??” and “we’ll drop u on the side of the freeway and make you walk” type ish
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
Of course, realizing that this was a total rip off, Acord was able to convince the wife to allow for a $40 fee instead of the original $60…
Then they turn the music up LOUD and start tryna yell at me over the music and I’m maaad confused and at this point legit scared for my safety. But wife lady starts trying to descalate to no avail but agrees to charge me 40. The rest of the meth van does not agree lol.
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
Then, he was informed that they would be picking another person. Luckily for Acord, it was his bus driver Ken, a “road hardened” warrior who seemed just as confused.
So Ken is a road hardened warrior but he was very wtf as he slid in next to me in the back of this dark ass cruddy minivan with one working blown out speaker turned to 11. He saw my fear immediately and we knew we had to finesse.
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
Of course, due to his “hardened road warrior” smarts, Ken was able to convince the cab owners to stop talking and actually get a move on.
Ken pretended to call our tour manager to get them to shut up since they were yelling CONSTANTLY. He was like “sorry I’m late I’m omw” etc and they shut up and focused on getting us there instead of talking shit for awhile.
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
FINALLY, Acord and Ken made it to the bus!
We finally get to the bus and I SCOOT outta there. I had to borrow cash from somebody so I left my phone as collateral. I was concerned lol. But apparently the second I left they made a joke about “the black man took our reciept book” that I’m glad I didn’t hear.
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
So I get back with 40, not 60, and apparently that whole time Ken, who was on time as always, basically made it seem like we were late and it was all their fault so they’d have to get our tour manager to pay them and they backed down.
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
As if the experience couldn’t get worse, an awkward stare-down ensued. Deciding the stare-down was not worth it, Acord shared he booked it out of there (we would have done the same.)
They asked if I needed a reciept and I said no and super meth dude suddenly stopped moving and stared at me and asked “why not?” Then they all followed suit. I turned around and booked it.
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
Winding down the distressing tale, Acord gave his Twitter followers some parting words, and it seems like we should all be a little more like Ken when taking a cab.
So moral of the story is if you’ve never been stared down by a bunch of meth heads after they failed to shake you down for 20 extra bucks trapped in their car you might be more streetwise than I am when it comes to methy inbreds. You might be Ken. Thanks for coming to my ted talk
— Skyler Acord (@Skyduck64) July 17, 2018
Hopefully, Acord won’t have any more crazy cab adventures on the rest of his time of Warped Tour.
Issues are on the road all summer long for the final cross-country run of the Vans Warped Tour. Check out the list of the remaining cities and dates below!