musicans can’t do neck deep palaye royale
[Photos via YouTube]

11 musicians name things they can’t do all that well

A common feeling when watching an artist perform is being wholly impressed with the talent displayed and wishing it was you up there doing what they can do. But did you know there are many things these skilled musicians can’t do?

Members of Bowling For Soup, Frank Carter & Rattlesnakes, Don Broco, Creeper, Deez Nuts, While She Sleeps, Grayscale, the Faim, Neck Deep, Milk Teeth and Palaye Royale confess some things they’re not good at.

Jaret Reddick, BOWLING FOR SOUP


I cannot load a dishwasher. I am terrible at it. Cannot figure out how to do that economically.

Frank Carter, FRANK CARTER & THE RATTLESNAKES


I’m not a strong swimmer. I find getting in a pool really hard. I never swam as a kid, so I’m scared of swimming. We went to Australia, and on the last day of the tour, we had a day off and decided to take a boat out in Shark Bay, which is around Sydney Harbour. It was beautiful. Everyone in my band was jumping off the roof of this boat. I find myself on the roof of this boat, and they’re like, “Jump!” My girlfriend’s up there, and she’s like, “Let’s jump!” So we jumped off the boat into the sea. Everyone soon realized the levels of my fear when they saw me surface and swim straight back to the boat immediately, basically choking and drowning. They felt really bad—but then I jumped off again! I’m [taking]  swimming lessons now because I want to be a good swimmer for my daughter. It’s so important; it could be lifesaving.

Rob Damiani, DON BROCO


Directions. Navigating. For some reason, I never look where I’m going. If we’re walking somewhere, I’m very happy to go with the flow and end up at the location that I’m meant to be. If my Google Maps is out, I’ll be following that, and when I actually think about how the hell I got somewhere—I’ve no clue. I’ll end up somewhere, my phone will run out of battery and then I’ll be like, “How the hell did I get here? I’ve just walked here, and I’ve got no idea.” Even yesterday, we went and got a kebab, it took me five minutes to get there and half an hour to walk back to the bus. I just get so lost!

Will Gould, CREEPER


Sports. Look at my body—I’m not equipped for that! No sports at all. Throwing things or running—I’m not good at things like that. I’ve been told that I run like Woody from Toy Story.

JJ Peters, DEEZ NUTS


I cannot touch my toes to save my life. I’m honestly so inflexible that it’s embarrassing. I wish that I could do it. One day.

Lawrence “Loz” Taylor, WHILE SHE SLEEPS


I tried to play golf the other day, and I was pretty bad—just whacking a ball across a field near where I live in Yorkshire. I went and thought I’d be quite good, but it’s a lot harder than it looks. I couldn’t do it to save my life.

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Collin Walsh, GRAYSCALE


I’m terrible at folding. Folding clothes or sheets or anything. It’s a weird thing,  I was never good at it. When I pack to go on tour, I’ll put my stuff in a pile, and one of our guys or someone will help me fold it. I suck at folding!

Josh Raven, THE FAIM


I’m really coordinated onstage: I dance around, I do jumps, I do kicks. But when it comes to walking around in public,  I trip over a strong breeze. Sometimes I’m just straight down. Cigarette butt on the ground? Trip over that–bang! I trip over anything.

Ben Barlow, NECK DEEP


Art. I wish I could draw way better. I can doodle, and I can do letters and all that sort of stuff, but I just wish I had real artistic talent. No matter how hard I try, it’s just never quite there.

Becky Blomfield, MILK TEETH


My hand-eye coordination is terrible. I can’t drive. I’m in my mid-20s, and I can’t drive. I’ve had lessons—it definitely does not come naturally to me.

Remington Leith, PALAYE ROYALE


I can’t whistle. It’s very difficult. I’ve tried! If it comes out, it just comes out horribly.