A record store clerk logged all the crazy things customers said

February 26, 2015
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Dangerous Minds recently ran a really interesting—and hilarious—story: A former record store clerk kept a journal of all the crazy conversations that took place with customers, and the bizarre things they asked.

“In 2002 I stashed a notebook behind the counter of the shop where I work, something I wish I had had the foresight to think of years earlier,” the record store employee writes. “Anytime we got a dopey phone call, boneheaded comment, or generally batshit customer experience we’d log it into the book with the date and time of occurrence.”

The full story has over 50 funny conversations with customers, so be sure to read it. But here are a few gems below:


Customer: “Why are there only 12 songs on this CD?” 
Clerk: “Uh, that’s just how many songs are on it.” 
Customer: “So, there’s six songs per side?”

(phone call)
Customer: “Are you the manager?” 
Clerk: “Yes.” 
Customer: “OK. There’s a Beatles album… it’s really rare… it’s worth a whole lot of money… Do you know which one it is?” 
Clerk: “No.” 
Customer: “OK. How much would it be worth?”

(phone call) 
Customer: “Is this the record place?” 
Clerk: “Yes.” 
Customer: “Could you tell me how to get a record deal? I do rap.”

(phone call) 
Customer: “Do you have constellation music?” 
Clerk: “Constellation music?” 
Customer: “You know… A variety.”

A guy comes in and wants to order a TV-only-offer CD. He brings in the 1-800 number from the commercial and asks if we can call it in for him.

Customer has an inquiry about the Led Zeppelin BBC Sessions: 
Customer: “What does BBC session mean?” 
Clerk: “Well, it would have been a session recorded for British BBC radio.” 
Customer: “So is it in English?”

Customer: “Do you guys sell punk? Like MXPX and CREED?”

Read the full story here.

Written by Matt Crane