Billie Eilish didn't think she "would be happy again" after 2018 struggles
Billie Eilish will perform at the 62nd Grammy Awards this Sunday, Jan. 26. She is nominated for six awards and is the youngest to be nominated for the four general field categories: Record of the Year, Album of the Year, Song of the Year and Best New Artist. Billie is at the top of the mountain, but it wasn’t easy.
The singer recently opened up with Gayle King about her mental health and the struggle of fame for The Gayle King Grammy Special.
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Billie Eilish spoke with King about her awful depression and suicidal thoughts in 2018. “I didn’t ever think I would be happy again. Ever.” Eilish’s rise to stardom and recognizability didn’t come without its share of hardships. Her friends quickly drifted away, unable to relate to her pop star status. This started a spiral that led Eilish into a clinical depression while dealing with severe isolation.
“I was so unhappy last year,” Eilish told King. “I was so unhappy, and I was so, like, joyless. I don’t want to be too dark or anything but I genuinely didn’t think I would make it to 17.”
King and Eilish continue discussing mental health and Eilish recounts a moment she almost didn’t come back from.
“I think about this one time I was in Berlin and I was alone in my hotel, and I remember there was a window right there. I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way that I was going to die was, I was going to do it.” King asks what stopped her from taking that extra step. “My mom,” Eilish says.
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Because of Billie Eilish’s struggles with mental health issues, she takes extra care to relate to her fans and make sure they can be in a better place than she was.
“I just grab [the fans] by the shoulders and I’m like, ‘Please take care of yourself and be good to yourself and be nice to yourself. Don’t take that extra step and hurt yourself further and you can’t take it back,” Eilish explains.
The full interview is below.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental illness, there is help to be found. Please consider these online resources and talk to your regular doctor about your symptoms:
MentalHealth.gov – Get Immediate Help
ImAlive – Online Crisis Network
International Association For Suicide Prevention – Resources
The Anxiety And Depression Association Of America
The National Alliance On Mental Illness
American Psychiatric Association – Finding Help
National Institute Of Mental Health
American Psychological Association – Psychologist locator
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