Brendan Kelly (The Lawrence Arms) defends Patrick Stump in new blog

March 2, 2012
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Brendan Kelly (The Lawrence Arms, the Falcon, the Wandering Birds) has taken to his blog to defend Patrick Stump's recent piece, which was met with more criticism among some readers. Check out an excerpt below:

“It’s easy to malign Pat Stump. Lord knows I have, on more than one occasion referred to him as ‘the Pillsbury Doughboy if he shopped at hot topic and wore ridiculous hats.’ And that’s fine. That’s what happens when you’re famous. Dumb shitheads who have it vastly worse than you, who are uglier than you, who are stupider than you, who have no business making fun of anyone at all, make fun of you loudly and often. I don’t think that Pat is unaware of this universal truth. In fact, I know he’s not, because yesterday(?) he published this little piece about why he’s been super bummed out lately. I read it and it made me sad.

Right away, I’ll tell you that Pat’s piece is refreshingly sincere and unguarded while still being self-aware enough to realize that he’s gonna get even more shit for daring to express dissatisfaction with what many consider to be an ideal life. Again, that’s how it is. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you don’t want people being as cruel as they can possibly be to you, mercilessly mocking your looks, your abilities, your dreams, your ideas, your kids, wishing death and worse upon you and your loved ones (and this is if you’re a guy. If you’re a female, god help you. There is no persona that needs to be more bulletproof than a famous female), then you should never, ever attempt to publically express yourself, creatively or otherwise. This is the way the world is, and more to the point, this is the way human beings are. Humans can be nice in close quarters, but consider the fact that even your sweet grandmother has celebrities that she doesn’t like for reasons that she SHOULD be smart enough to understand are frivolous. She doesn’t know the Kardashians. She knows that the show is at least somewhat scripted and sensationalized. She respects the old timey values of maximizing every advantage that comes your way. She’s never met Kim, but she still just doesn’t like her. And that’s your nice grandma who even likes your shithead friends that even your other shithead friends can’t stand. Imagine how crappy the kneejerk reactions of your shithead friends are when they see Pat Stump up there, being rich and famous for doing things that they feel that they do better, completely stinking up the place with his bullshit. They’re ALREADY mean shitheads. Completely remove the humanity of actual interpersonal interaction and they’re talking about pissing on his dead mom’s grave and punching his ugly girlfriend in the stomach so she doesn’t give birth to his retarded baby (I have no idea if Pat Stump has a dead mom or a girlfriend. I’m merely illustrating the cruelty spree that is celebrity shit talking) before the chorus of Dance Dance even kicks in.

And nobody hates you more than someone who loves you. Listen to Yankees fans talk about the Yankees. Listen to linguists discuss modern vernacular. Listen to your mom talk about your hair. Think about how fucking infuriating it is when your best friend slurps their coffee or mispronounces that one word that he always does or whatever and you’ll realize this is true.”

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with Kelly's assessment? Let us know in the comments.

Written by Bryne Yancey

Position: Former Web Editor HQ: Orlando, FL (soon to be Cleveland, OH) Nice to meet you! I'm Bryne Yancey, the former web editor for Alternative Press. Prior to joining AP full-time, I volunteered at and freelanced for Myspace Music and AP, writing reviews and such.  I enjoy 80s thrash metal, leather-jacket pop-punk, obscure 90s/2000s emo, contemporary crust-core, and plenty in between. I'm a big fan of pizza, nachos, dessert, sleeveless t-shirts, wearing shorts year-round, sunglasses, science fiction, dry humor, horror, the Florida Marlins, the Orlando Magic, the Jacksonville Jaguars, and the Tampa Bay Lightning. Vinyl is great; Spotify is equally and differently great. Green Day's "Dookie," Bad Religion's "All Ages," and the Suicide Machines' "Battle Hymns" changed my life. I don't think our scene has ever been as exciting or promising as it is right now. Top ten albums OF ALL TIME (but in no particular order): Saves The Day - Stay What You Are Green Day - Warning Jimmy Eat World - Futures Snapcase - Designs For Automotion Hot Water Music - Caution Metallica - ...And Justice For All The Suicide Machines - Battle Hymns Bad Religion - The Process of Belief The Lawrence Arms - The Greatest Story Ever Told Descendents - ALL Twitter | Tumblr