We live in a difficult world. It appears in every situation people are either too sensitive or not sensitive enough. Over the last few weeks I’ve learned that anything you say or do can be taken a multitude of ways…
It’s very important for people such as myself to take responsibility for the way that my words and actions are taken. For instance: Telling someone they have nice hair, could mean anything from you liking a color or trying to brighten their day, to hoping they’ll sleep with you.
Facts are subjective when dealing with the way someone feels. This takes special consideration. However there will always be some people that take advantage of opportunities where they feel scorned. Using the language of sexual assault, harassment, etc. carries a certain power in society.
We all can think of a time where we’ve been accused of things we didn’t do, had our actions or intentions taken the wrong way or blown out of proportion from what we meant. It’s part of the human condition. I’m sure many of you have experienced the result of that personally. Unfortunately on the internet anyone can post anything they want and it’s guilty until proven innocent.
I’ve learned you can’t just treat anyone like anyone, you have to be especially observant of the way they feel or will take things. This is something I hadn’t been paying attention to. Woman deserve more respect than that.
I was raised in a strong female household of four women, and probably would get my ass kicked if I ever harassed a woman, haha. However I was raised to be extremely affectionate, whether I had romantic intentions or not. Although I know many women who can attest to this in a positive manner, I now realize that some people take that sexually. That is something I now take full responsibility for.
It’s also true that facts can suggest to what did or did not actually happen, so here are some facts:
• I’ve attached are screen shots with what has always been my policy on underage girls
• This is a link to a blog post from a 3rd party perspective of one of the nights. http://bit.ly/1QoYPl6
• I have come one on to woman who have followed me on social media and attended shows.
• I will now never come on to another person who shows interest in something I’ve created again. That’s not what that type of attention means.
• I’ve on often drank heavily on tour and gotten too intoxicated to remember after show events. Some allegations seem to be based on these times.
• As soon as I first heard I made anyone feel uncomfortable 14 days ago, to make an effective end. I stopped drinking, flirting with and hugging anyone at shows or online. Then made this known to the sources of these allegations before the blog post went up.
I brought up leaving the band when It became apparent from the blog that fans felt unsafe at shows. I’ve always believed that’s a place people should feel safe. Everyone one has a right to feel harassed by anything. If you ever feel uncomfortable, no matter who or what the situation, I believe you should stand up and say something. I would never want anyone to not speak up.
I am actively working with several organizations to better understand woman and after training hope to eventually volunteer to help them. I vow to use this experience to get knowledge for both myself and others.