Former Slipknot drummer Joey Jordison received the Golden God award at Metal Hammer’s Golden Gods Awards. During his emotional acceptance speech, he opened up about what he was going through “towards the end” of his time with the band.

“Towards the end of my career in Slipknot, I got really, really sick with a horrible disease called Transverse Myelitis. I lost my legs; I couldn’t play anymore. It was a form of Multiple Sclerosis, which I don’t wish on my worst enemy.”

Read more: Slipknot vocalist Corey Taylor opens up about ex-drummer Joey Jordison

He continued, “I got myself back up, and I got myself in the gym and I got myself back in fucking therapy, to fucking beat this shit. And if I could do it, you could do it. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, more than fucking anything.” (Translation with edits via The PRP.)

You can watch official video of the ceremony from Metal Hammer below. Jordison’s speech begins around the 16:30 mark. He recently launched two new bands: Sinsaenum and VIMIC.