While we all have certainly had lackluster Uber rides, we definitely have never come close to having a worse experience than Palaye Royale guitarist Sebastian Danzig.
However, much to our own self-serving delight, the guitarist has taken to Twitter (the only social networking site available today, apparently) to live-tweet his Uber experience from Hell.
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Immediately, Danzig starts his story on a less-than-stellar note. After ordering an Uber for a two hour drive through the Arizona heat, Danzig says the driver refused to turn on the air conditioning. Additionally, the driver started complaining about the busy musician’s phone calls minutes into the trip, among other things.
And he just asked me if I can not have phone calls longer than 5 minutes as he needs to be in his zone to drive.. https://t.co/VLbyqFk94z
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
Now he is complaining that my ride is 2 hours….
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
He asks, “ Are you sick? If you are sick I can’t have you in my car.”
At this point it doesn’t seem real.
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
I’m just going to kiss him. Maybe he is just lonely. ???♂️??
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
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However, the Uber ride quickly got progressively worse when the driver asked to take a detour to Post Malone’s favorite Italian restaurant.
Hahahaha My uber driver just asked if he can stop to get pasta from olive garden because he hasn’t ate food today. I should just run errands with him..
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
Hahahaha Of course we are in dead traffic because of an accident. Now he blames me for the ride.
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
He legit has yelled at every car talking about pollution because a truck is too loud. I don’t think pollution from cars or trucks are based on how loud they are but this is the most entertaining uber driver ever. And I’m living for it.
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
He has been quiet for 4 minutes. Too quiet. I’m on to you Mr. Uber Man.
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
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Soon, the driver broke his silence to be caught the driver in an act of hypocrisy. After he told Danzig to not talk on the phone, the driver was caught on video making a long phone call.
Hahahahahahahaha I can’t.
He told me no phone calls over 5 minutes and he just told this guy he has time to talk. pic.twitter.com/G7Rw22a8dR
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
I want to make an undercover show.
Featuring my experiences with uber drivers.
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
More phone calls… https://t.co/DqaBzGDR6r
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
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That said, many fans believe Danzig should get his own Netflix deal—a reality show based on his disappointing Uber rides, to be specific. Apparently, Palaye Royale have a history of attracting eyebrow-raising rides, as Danzig cites another transportation-related horror story from just last month.
A show. You don’t need to hire anyone besides me and my luck with @Uber drivers.
Read my timeline for context.
You are welcome. https://t.co/9xN9i4ZnTA
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
Memories. https://t.co/1I5GF2zQLt
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
Memories. https://t.co/1I5GF2zQLt
— Sebastian Danzig (@SebastianDanzig) March 13, 2019
Palaye Royale recently announced a string of spring tour dates across the U.S.
The announcement for the Funeral tour came after they teased a handful of U.S. states. However, many fans were left slightly concerned due to the nature of the tease.
Before they head out on the Funeral tour, they will support Halestorm on their forthcoming run. You can check out the full list of dates, including those on the Funeral tour, below.
Dates
04/18 – Mankato, MN @ Verizon Center*
04/20 – Billings, MT @ Shrine Auditorium*
04/22 – Salt Lake City, UT @ Union Event Center*
04/23 – Boise, ID @ The Revolution Center*
04/25 – Kennewick, WA @ Toyota Center*
04/26 – Vancouver, BC @ Chan Centre*
04/28 – Edmonton, AB @ Northern Jubilee Auditorium*
04/29 – Calgary, AB @ MacEwan Hall*
05/01 – Winnepeg, MB @ Burton Cummings Theatre*
05/05 – Bismarck, ND @ Bismarck Event Center*
05/07 – Rapid City, SD @ Rushmore Plaza Civic Center*
05/09 – Cedar Rapids, IA @ US Cellular Center*
05/12 – London, ON @ London Music Hall*
05/13 – Toronto, ON@ Danforth Music Hall*
05/17 — Worcester, MA @ The Palladium
05/18 — Baltimore, MD @ Baltimore Soundstage
05/20 — New York, NY @ Irving Plaza
05/22 — Orlando, FL @ The Abbey
05/23 — Atlanta, GA @ Masquerade
05/24 — Nashville, TN @ The Cowan
05/28 — Colorado Springs, CO @ The Black Sheep
05/30 — Los Angeles, CA @ The Fonda Theatre
*supporting Halestorm
What is the worst Uber ride you’ve ever had? Sound off in the comments below.
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