The 16 scariest songs we've ever heard

Everyone is afraid of something, whether it be psychopaths with knives, the undead or the obliteration of culture by sledgehammer-licking pop stars. Find our what makes the AP staffers’ skin crawl with the list of this 16 scariest songs we’ve ever heard.

BAUHAUS – “Bela Lugosi’s Dead”

–Marketing Director Dawn Marshman

BROKENCYDE – “FREAXXX”

“Freaxxx” is, without a doubt, the scariest song I've ever heard. Not just because it's an objectively terrible song (eight million YouTube hateviews can't be wrong!) but more because of what it represented: the mashing up of two of the worst genres in the history of recorded music, mall-screamo and bling-bling hip-hop. It's a song that means literally nothing yet somehow speaks volumes about an increasingly large portion of the youth of America, the kind who are vapid, talentless shells and lack any understanding of real emotion. These people are going to be elected officials some day—and if that's not terrifying, I don't know what is. —Managing Editor Scott Heisel

COIL – “The Anal Staircase”

Admit it: Even this title is scary, or at least potentially disturbing. And this evil song was written before most of you were born (we all know middle-age things are creepy, right, Cassie?) Aging or not, this sonic industrial terror-collage with it’s laughing-then-pleading boy samples is just about the darkest and most sinister “song” I've ever loved. –Creative Director Christopher Benton

MILEY CYRUS – “Wrecking Ball”

I heard this for the first time the other night at a venue between bands at a concert. I'm not sure if it was the overzealous crowd singing along or the fact that this was the song that goes with the naked-Miley-with-construction-gear pictures I see all over the internet, but it has me crippled in fear that so many people love this song. I have no hope for the future generation. –Marketing Coordinator Nichole Fazekas

HALLOWEEN THEME SONG

As someone who thinks wearing makeup that makes you look like a corpse is attractive, not much scares me. I could have chosen from an endless array of evil, black-metal droning for this playlist, but none of it really gets to me. This song, however–ugh. Just imagine being home alone and suddenly hearing this playing. That’s a whole shelf stacked with “nope” and “no thank you.” I’d probably cry. –Web Content Manager Cassie Whitt

INSANE CLOWN POSSE – “The Killing Fields”

The intro of this song features the murder of a pig. Terrifying.
–Office Assistant Amber Funk >>>

IXAXAAR – “Lustmord”

Es la Noche del Demonio from Miguel AlgOl on Vimeo.

At first, the It Is The Night Of the Demon sample on a loop the entire track doesn't seem that scary. But after a quick google search of the track name, you discover some freaky black-arts websites. Pair that discovery with dark, rumbling subterranean growls and by the the end of the track, you start to fear that playing this might actually evoke a demon spirit to come screeching out of your iTunes. –Creative Director Christopher Benton

KIDZ BOP KIDS – “22” (Taylor Swift cover)

Nothing is more horrifying than a multitude of kids singing covers of already shitty overplayed pop songs. This is like the Chinese water torture of bad music. I swear if that child mentions that she is “feelin' 22” one more time I might just Van Gogh my ears. You are 12 and have no idea what 22 feels like.–Editorial Intern Aime Szymanski

MAN OVERBOARD – “Boy Without Batteries”

For those who haven't heard this song from Man Overboard's latest full-length, Heart Attack, you're probably asking yourself, “What could this pop-punk five-piece possibly write that would earn them a spot on our scariest songs list?” I now ask you to turn your ears to the song's first few lines: “You want to see something creepy?/Remember this? It spent six years in my drawer/It doesn't smell like you anymore/But I can't throw it out so I ignore.” Yes, you heard that right. Man Overboard, who used to seem so cute and harmless with their songs about girls who don't like them, are major fucking creepers. You could argue that Zac Eisenstein isn't really singing about his ex-girlfriend's vibrator which he held onto for some unknown reason. Maybe it's just a metaphor. Maybe he's singing about a “friend.” But when it comes down to it, does it matter who or what he's really singing about? No it doesn't, because all I hear when I listen to “Boy Without Batteries” is, “I kept my ex-girlfriend's vibrator because I can't bear to get rid of it. Oh, and occasionally I sniff it.” No Man Overboard, I do not want to see something creepy. –Associate Editor Brittany Moseley

MARILYN MANSON – “This Is Halloween”

People may not think this song is necessarily “scary” but it describes what spooky and scary should be. Not to mention, I personally get goosebumps listening to it because the master of scary covers the song and delivers it oh so well. –Ad Account Executive Cynthia Luna

NEW FOUND GLORY – Hidden Track on Sticks And Stones

There is no way to count the number of times I've accidentally left this CD playing in my stereo, assuming it was over only to be scared out of my mind when this hidden track begins. –Ad Account Executive Krysten Sulin

PHUTURE DOOM – “Burn The Knowledge”

Bred in Detroit, Michigan, Phuture Doom craft their post-apocalyptic bass/metal hybrids in one of the scariest cities in the U.S.–if not the world. The demonic beats of “Burn The Knowledge” alone are capable of producing nightmares, so the demented music video isn't recommended for those faint of heart. –Ad Account Executive Derek Staples >>>