Let’s get our minds off of the pandemic for a moment. Let’s think about where we are in Emo Nation. This summer will mark the second year without a cross-country Warped Tour. Or it could be the 10th anniversary of your graduating high school class. There’s an old adage that goes something like “you can pick your friends, but your family is wished upon you.” We also know that your Mom was never going to let you know where she hid her liquid eyeliner stash or extra sewing needles. And that is where this list of 10 emo things we hope our parents didn’t see comes from.

Call it discovering your tribe or straight-up rebellion. These gestures were what we did to show unity, fly our freak flags and just fucking cope. We loved the music because we lived it. There is no better feeling in the world than that moment when you see someone in your world wearing the same obscure band shirt that you have. Everything else in this video inevitably had to follow. These are the emo things we hope our parents didn’t see us do.

Read more: 15 movies that are secretly emo that you can screen right now

Let’s be clear right now. We put this video together because it was all things that we saw, heard about and participated in at the height of 21st century emo. It’s been called everything from “acting out” to “being weird.” Every big underground cultural movement had its fair share of critics, haters and shade throwers. But for all the emo things we tried to hide, there was just as much good. The scene was understanding and empathetic. (“Woke,” if you will.) Who in a million years thought this would be the community that was going to leave its mark on everything from pop music to hip hop? Anybody else want to get a snakebite right about now?